AITA for not allowing my parents to see my kids anymore?

In a cozy suburban home, the faint sound of a baby’s giggle mingles with the aroma of fresh coffee, but tension hangs heavy. A couple, forged in love against the odds of rigid religious upbringings, face a heart-wrenching clash with the grandparents of their two young daughters. After years of estrangement for being gay, the couple welcomed their parents back, hoping for familial warmth. Yet, a single gift—a lamb toy whispering “Jesus loves me”—reignites old wounds, threatening the boundaries they’ve fiercely guarded for their children’s freedom.

The sting of betrayal cuts deep as the couple grapples with their parents’ refusal to respect their no-religion rule. The pain of past rejection resurfaces, leaving them torn between their daughters’ right to loving grandparents and shielding them from the same dogma that once shattered their own lives. Readers can’t help but wonder: how far should forgiveness stretch when trust is broken again?

‘AITA for not allowing my parents to see my kids anymore?’

My husband and I were both raised in very religious environments. I was raised Catholic and my husband raised Christian. His upbringing was much more strict than mine with extreme rules. Needless to say our families weren't happy when we came out the closet.

His family kicked him out while mine didn't speak to me for years and just pretended I didn't exist even when I reached out to invite them to my wedding. We been married now for 6 years and we just had our second child (Gale) . When our daughter Caroline (my oldest) was born, my parents apologized to me and said they wanted to get to know my family.

We decided to give them a second chance since my husband's family won't even acknowledge us! I did want my daughter to have grandparents. Due to our upbringing, we decided there would be no religion in our household. We don't go to church or own a bible.

If our children decide they want to explore religion then we want it to their choice not because we force them to go to Sunday School for 2 hours every Sunday. We were very clear on this with my parents. We didn't want any religious toys, games, books, or church events invites.

My parents push. I won't go into full detail to keep this from becoming too wordy but we had a few incidents with Caroline such as them taking her to church events. So Gale is 2 months now. My parents have been helping out since she was born with things like groceries and dinner.

Well they came over with a huge gift basket for Gale. It had diapers, wipes, formula and some toys. One was a lamb which when hugged says 'Jesus love me.' I told my mom we'll keep everything else just not the lamb. They know the rules. That is when my dad said 'Well excuse us for trying to save our grandkids souls while there is still time.'

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I cried. My husband kicked them! He sent them the text messages letting them they were not welcomed in our home or near the girls again. Since then they have been sending messages, texts, and posting on Facebook telling anyone who will listen that we won't allow them see the girls.

They even gave my number to members of their church! I having mixed emotions. I want my daughters to have grandparents, an aunt, an uncles and cousins. I just don't want them to suffer with the same things me and my husband had to go through. AITA?

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Family boundaries can feel like tightropes when love and beliefs collide. Here, the couple’s clear no-religion stance clashes with the grandparents’ persistent faith-driven actions, escalating into a painful cutoff. The parents’ disregard for the couple’s rules—sneaking church events and gifting a religious toy—shows a lack of respect, rooted in their belief that their faith trumps the couple’s choices. This tension highlights a broader issue: navigating intergenerational differences when values diverge sharply.

According to a 2021 Pew Research study, 60% of Americans say religion is “very important” to them, often creating friction in families with differing beliefs (pewresearch.org). Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Respecting boundaries is critical for trust; without it, relationships fracture” (gottman.com). Here, the grandparents’ actions erode trust, prioritizing their beliefs over the couple’s autonomy.

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This situation reflects a common struggle: balancing family ties with personal values. The couple’s decision to cut contact, though painful, protects their daughters from potential indoctrination that could echo their own traumatic upbringings. For solutions, open dialogue might help, but only if the grandparents acknowledge the boundary. Mediation or family counseling could foster understanding, provided all parties commit to respect.

Ultimately, the couple’s choice to prioritize their daughters’ freedom over forced family ties aligns with fostering a safe, autonomous environment. Setting firm boundaries, as Gottman suggests, may be the healthiest path forward, even if it means tough goodbyes.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s takes are spicy and unfiltered—here’s what the community had to say about this family showdown, served with a side of wit and candor.

jomarchofficial − NTA. you set a boundary, they disrespected it.

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[Reddit User] − NTA - this is flat out harassment. Your kids and your partner and you will be better off without them.

MPHV51 − NTA NTA NTA !. The post saying yta is wrong. People, even Parents, do not have the right to influence your children.

icecoldcokezero − NTA. You have been very clear with your boundaries and they disrespected that. Block them from your life because it's bound to happen over and over again.

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Good for you for deciding to let your kids decide on their own regarding religion. That was not an option given to me and I'm just glad I caught on early in life.

irishlife2016 − NTA at all.. Better not having grandparents than have ones that disrespect your boundaries. Your little girls won't miss anything not having those people around them. They have two wonderful dads that love them enormously and that is enough.. All the best x

TexanFirebird − NTA - and your parents should probably be cut out of your lives. Your parents essentially disowned you, and based on the “trying to save their souls” comment, still strongly disapprove of your life. As it would appear they aren’t really your parents, view this as if it is two strangers trying to be nice to your children.

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They don’t want to be your parents, they just want to proselytize your children and from the sound of things, would take your children away from you if the opportunity somehow presented itself.

Lawn_Orderly − NTA. You gave them a second chance and they blew it. And can you see if your other relatives - cousins, aunts, uncles - could have relationships with your daughters?

Lady_Ellie119 − NTA they have no right to push religion on your kids. They should have been happy they got to see them at all after how they treated you and your spouse. Cut them off and block all the AH church people that call

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moondoggie1960 − NTA, obviously. 'Save their souls?!' So.F**king. Toxic. Bravo to you both for saving your kids from that. As for the church people who were given your number ... text them back with graphic gay cock pics (not your own, of course) ... they won't bother you anymore.

TheKidYouDidntWant − NTA. If they had kept up with this behavior, your kids might grow up to be h**ophobic, because I guarantee that you'll hear 'But grandparents said that's a sin.' Or something along those lines.

But do these fiery Reddit opinions mirror real-world solutions, or are they just digital cheers for cutting ties?

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This family’s saga leaves us pondering the delicate dance of love, trust, and boundaries. The couple’s stand to shield their daughters from unwanted religious influence sparks a question: where do you draw the line with family who overstep? Their choice to prioritize their children’s autonomy over grandparental access is both brave and heartbreaking. What would you do if faced with a similar clash of values? Share your thoughts—how would you balance family ties with protecting your kids’ freedom?

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