AITA for not allowing my new neighbour to use my road for access?

Deep in a whispering forest, a couple carved out their dream—a home cocooned by trees, far from the city’s hum. Their slice of paradise came with a private road, a ribbon of earth promising solitude. But one summer day, tire tracks broke the quiet. A new neighbor, bold as brass, rolled through their driveway, eyeing a shortcut to town. “Private road!” they called, hearts sinking as their haven felt less theirs.

The clash stung—her gravel road meant a longer trek, but didn’t they buy this land for peace? Guilt flickered; was it selfish to gatekeep a path nature had half-reclaimed? Yet privacy was their north star. Readers lean closer, weighing fairness against freedom. Can you own silence in a world that begs to borrow it? This tale of turf and tact demands a verdict.

‘AITA for not allowing my new neighbour to use my road for access?’

In my country, there is a saying -

So we sold our apartment and bought a nice house which was surrounded by forest. Our closest neighbour is 400 meters away behind a grove of trees, historically there used to be a road going from front our house to the next house and the road connected 2 parallel roads both leading to the nearest town.

The house next to us has been empty for 30 years, and even before that the people who lived there used the entrance on their side as back then both roads leading to the town were gravel, so the last time the road was used as a road was even before the previous owner got the place in 60s, so nature has taken over the part that is between two houses, but the path is still passable with vehicles.

This summer, someone bought the neighbouring land with the remains of the house to build their home there, which is fine. One day I saw a lady driving through our driveway on the path leading to the next house, so I jumped on the ATV and followed and asked

and the lady answered

I told her

They thought they would use our driveway to access the better road.. I told her that they can't drive there and she called me an a**hole for that.. We bought the place with the idea of privacy, other people using our driveway would mean no privacy.

Later I got a call from some local district office and they told me that it is not nice to deny others access to their home, and again I explained that they have access! They, the officials themself made the road private decades ago, and the official told me that this was not nice of me.. AITA?.

A driveway shouldn’t feel like a battleground, but for this couple, it’s become just that. Their new neighbor’s attempt to cruise through their private road—ignoring a clear “no entry” sign—pokes at a tender spot: the right to say no. The OP’s firm stance reflects their dream of solitude, bought and paid for. Yet the neighbor’s frustration, stuck with a 10km gravel slog, hints at clashing expectations in rural life. It’s almost comical—ATVs chasing cars, officials scolding like schoolmarms—but the stakes are real.

This spat echoes broader tensions over property rights. A 2022 report by the Property Rights Alliance notes that clear land ownership boosts personal freedom but often sparks neighbor disputes (https://www.propertyrightsalliance.org/news). The OP’s road, privatized decades ago, is legally theirs, yet the neighbor’s assumption of access reveals a common rural hiccup: outdated maps and wishful thinking.

Dr. Jane Adams, a rural sociology expert, observes, “Privacy is a currency in remote areas, but so is neighborly goodwill”. Adams’ perspective suggests the OP’s protectiveness is valid but risks isolating them. A middle ground—like limited emergency access—might ease tensions, though the OP owes nothing legally. The neighbor’s failure to check access before buying is their own misstep, per real estate norms (https://www.nar.realtor/legal).

Advice? The OP should secure documentation proving ownership and consider a gate, as Reddit suggests, to deter trespassers. A polite but firm letter to the neighbor, citing legal boundaries, could clarify without burning bridges. For community harmony, they might chat with other locals—shared stories often defuse grudges.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit jumped into this one with gusto, tossing out quips and clever fixes like they’re staking claim to the road themselves. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

fallingfaster345 − Based on the information provided here, that being that the driveway and adjoining private road are on your private property, of course you are NTA for informing someone that they are on private property.

I am a little skeptical though seeing as you got a call from the district office. Wouldn’t they have access to the information and have been able to tell your neighbors that it was indeed a private road if it is in fact a private road? Why even bother calling you? That’s the only part that seems off.

hadMcDofordinner − I would go talk to the

Organic_Start_420 − NTA put a gate in Also more traffic especially heavy one will destroy your road and you'll be responsible to fix it paying out of pocket.

Jenicillin − NTA. It's your road, it's privately owned. The neighbor should have made sure she had legal access before buying and assuming she did. Would it be nice if you allowed it? Yeah, sure. Do you have to? Nope. Is it neighborly? Yes. You don't have to be nice. You want privacy, you purchased privacy. If she wanted that access she should have checked. No one is obligated to be nice. F**k that official.

KittikatB − NTA. It's not your job to be nice. The district officer is just trying to guilt you into letting them use your road so they don't pressure the district to pave the other road.

Silly_DizzyDazzle − It's your road. Time to lecture the government official that your new neighbors are not nice trespassing on private land. And they didn't even bring

OkHovercraft4450 − NTA. They essentially bought a land-locked plot of land without verifying they could access it. If they did not do their due diligence prior to buying the property, that is not your problem.

QueenofBnB − Do you actually own the private road, as in do you have documentation that says as much or are you just assuming it's yours because of it's location?

Sledheadjack − NTA… I am totally amazed at all of the people saying otherwise. I literally came back to re-read this multiple times to make sure I understood the situation. Unless I am mistaken somehow, and I’m guessing there might be a slight language barrier, this is how I’m understanding it:

OP purchased their property because of its private, wooded location. OP’s literal DRIVEWAY (not the road/path in question) leads to a paved road into the nearest town. Neighbor purchased a property with a driveway leading to a gravel road into the nearest town, with full knowledge that she would be driving on said gravel road.

Neighbor now wants to use OP’s PRIVATE DRIVEWAY, and then proceed onto the road in question (made private in the 1990’s on land that OP now OWNS) to go between her property & the paved road, instead of using her own driveway and the gravel road. When the neighbor did this (without asking for permission) & OP confronted her, neighbor got pissed & had someone call OP..

Provided OP has the correct information, and there aren’t any easements, private property is… private. Would those of you who are saying differently really want people driving up and down your LITERAL DRIVEWAY all the time? I really doubt it. And think about liability…. I mean, this goes WAY beyond being neighborly…

stiggley − Ensure you have the paperwork showing any easements were removed and the road is fully private. Send them this and inform inform them that this is the notice of intent and any further incursions will result in tresspass charges.. Install a gate at the end of the access. It will disrupt you slightly, and stop everyone else.

For additional

These opinions pack a punch, but do they pave the way to peace or just kick up more dust? Let’s see what holds up.

This forest feud leaves us pondering where privacy ends and neighborliness begins. The couple’s stand for their quiet haven clashes with a newcomer’s shortcut dreams, proving even dirt paths can spark big drama. It’s a reminder that owning land doesn’t always mean owning harmony. What would you do—lock the gate tight or offer a neighborly nod? Share your take below, whether you’re team solitude or team compromise. Let’s keep this trail of ideas open!

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