AITA for not allowing my husband to be the entire neighborhood’s husband?

In a quiet suburban street, where lawns are manicured and mailboxes gleam, one woman’s life has turned into a bizarre soap opera. Her husband, the sole man in a sea of female neighbors, has become the unwilling star of their fantasies and fix-it lists. From light bulbs to car troubles, the requests pour in, laced with flirty comments and audacious offers that make her skin crawl.

What started as neighborly kindness has spiraled into a battle over boundaries, respect, and her marriage. The tension simmers as she grapples with their bold demands to “share” her husband, leaving her torn between empathy and outrage. With vivid imagery of a neighborhood teetering on chaos, this story pulls readers into her struggle to protect her relationship while navigating a surreal social dynamic.

‘AITA for not allowing my husband to be the entire neighborhood’s husband?’

I have a weird situation. It's become very clear that my husband is the only man on our street. The rest of the houses are entirely women. There's a few single mother houses, 2 houses of all female roommates, one single woman, and even a lesbian couple.

I normally wouldn't care or even take note of this, but since March, it's like we're getting constant calls and texts. The number we gave when we moved in two years ago (just renewed last January) was my number. I am FLOODED with requests for basic handyman stuff like changing light bulbs, car problems, and dealing with toilets.

He has helped people around the neighborhood before because he is a nice guy and we are from a culture that assumes that men need to 'help out' women if they can, even if they're not related. But with me being furloughed, he's the only one working and is less interested in extra stuff,

but the tasks do only take about 5-20 minutes on average, which I know because my husband makes me go with him because they make him uncomfortable. Even more gross than that is that these women are obsessed with him on a personal level.

They openly flirt with him and literally offer themselves up if he's 'ever tired of [me]' or 'wants something different'. I have even gotten pictures of boobs from neighbors! While I love my husband and am attracted to him, he's not like a male model or anything so I really don't understand why these women are fawning over him like this.

One of the single moms has even asked him to come over and discipline one of her children, which is an absolute nope. He's not comfortable with any of this and has asked me to intervene. I've tried talking to these women more casually to no avail.

I set up a zoom for just us ladies to try to get us on the same page. They told me that since it's now impossible for any of them to find anyone anymore (2020), I needed to share my husband and be less selfish in regards to household maintenance requests.

It's 'not even safe' to call for maintenance and I shouldn't ask them to when there's a 'safe alternative' where they don't have to risk exposure. They also said that it was just 'harmless flirting' because they're all 'frustrated* and can't date' and that I wouldn't even be threatened by it if I was 'giving him kids'.

I've talked to my own family about this and while they say that the women should be less forward, I should be more understanding about how hard it is for a woman to be alone because my own mother was alone. AITA for not just dealing with it?. *I'm substituting frustrated for the word that was actually used to make this slightly more family friendly.

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This neighborhood saga is like a rom-com gone rogue, with a husband cast as an unwilling hero. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Boundaries are the foundation of a healthy marriage, protecting the couple’s emotional space” (The Gottman Institute). Here, the couple faces a clear violation of those boundaries, with neighbors treating the husband as communal property.

The OP’s situation reveals a clash of expectations. Her husband’s cultural instinct to help collides with the neighbors’ entitlement, fueled by their frustration and isolation. Their flirting and explicit advances—nudes included—cross into disrespect, objectifying him while undermining the OP’s role as his partner. A 2021 study from the American Psychological Association found that unwanted sexual attention can erode trust in relationships (APA).

This issue reflects broader societal norms around gender roles, where men are often seen as “fixers” and women as dependent. The neighbors’ insistence that the OP “share” her husband echoes outdated views of communal obligation over individual autonomy. Dr. Gottman advises couples to present a united front, calmly asserting limits without guilt.

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For solutions, the OP could send a group message redirecting requests to professional services, as suggested by Redditors. Sharing a local handyman’s contact or YouTube tutorials empowers neighbors while reinforcing boundaries. The couple should block numbers sending inappropriate content to protect their emotional well-being. Clear communication, rooted in mutual respect, can restore peace without alienating the community.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and snark for this wild tale. It’s like a virtual block party where everyone’s got an opinion and a side to pick:

CajunKC − NTA. These grown women should learn how to complete basic home maintenance themselves. Start sending you tube videos to them instead of your husband.

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lamamaloca − NTA. You both need to start telling them 'no.' You don't need to get them to agree that they're out of line, you just have to say 'Sorry, can't help.' Or, if you don't feel comfortable doing that, could *you* show up to help? None of things they need help with requires a penis to do.

yeekaiser − NTA at all. He's not comfortable, you're not comfortable, they're too comfortable. Either they stop doing all this or you can stop giving them visits. You can pay them the favour by flirting with their guys (if they can get any with this attitude)

Direct_Drawing_8557 − NTA. They should get their own husband's.

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Clever_Word_Play − NTA for the prompt but. YTA for saying this s**t. While I love my husband and am attracted to him, he's not like a male model or anything so I really don't understand why these women are fawning over him like this.. How’d you feel if you husband said you’re attractive but not that attractive

Ipromisetobehonest − NTA - if they aren't able to maintain their homes, they should move to an apartment with an on-site handyman. Neither you nor your husband are comfortable with their requests, and you are a more agreeable woman than I am for putting up with the disrespectful violations of flirting and sending nudes to what they thought was your husband's phone.

I get trying to be a good neighbor and all, but they are walking all over you both and completely disrespecting your marriage with their 'jokes.' Those aren't jokes coming from the one(s) who sent nudes.

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katatiel − NTA and good for you sticking up for your husband since it makes him uncomfortable. I would draw a firmer line saying that he is too busy. Also i would find a local handyman and share that number with all of them and anytime you get a text for work. 'Sorry he is busy but this guy can help *add number '

mrswordhold − Ugh another post better suited to offmychest, no one thinks your an a**hole, go post somewhere else if your just ranting

xxSKSxx_ − They told me that since it's now impossible for any of them to find anyone anymore (2020), I needed to share my husband and be less selfish. Um, what? NTA.Are they serious? You don’t need to share anything.

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That’s a grown man, a person, not a tool! They’re completely objectifying him. That is so not ok. And the way they throw themselves at him is just without any respect to him or you. Nudes? Seriously? That number would be blocked on all my phones!

Your husband has proven more than enough times that he’s a good neighbour. But when it starts to make you both feel uncomfortable then something is wrong. I’d write a group message to the whole lot of women that you were glad to help but unfortunately won’t be able to do so anymore because,

of the already mentioned circumstances but you’d of course help in emergencies otherwise you’d recommend looking for a handyman to do the chores or learn to do them themselves (changing a light bulb? Really?).. I think you need to set some boundaries and quick.

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Solgiest − YTA - This seems incredibly fake.. Edit: changed to YTA for making up b**lshit.

These Redditors rallied behind the OP, cheering her stand while roasting the neighbors’ audacity. From suggesting DIY tutorials to urging a firm “no,” the crowd’s vibe was clear: boundaries matter. But do their fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just adding fuel to the drama?

This story is a wild ride through the perils of neighborly overreach and the power of standing firm. The OP’s struggle to protect her marriage while dodging flirty neighbors resonates with anyone who’s faced unwanted demands. It’s a reminder that kindness shouldn’t cost your peace. What would you do if your partner became the neighborhood’s reluctant hero? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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