AITA for not allowing my high school reunion to happen at my bar?

In a quaint UK town, where cobblestone streets hum with local gossip, a 25-year-old bar owner faced a dilemma steeped in high school nostalgia. Once the quiet kid mocked as a “loser,” he now holds the keys to the town’s beloved bar, a former reunion hotspot. When an old classmate, known for her cutting remarks, planned a reunion at his bar without asking, he put his foot down, stirring up old wounds and new drama. The decision sparked heated debates, leaving locals buzzing. Was he right to reclaim his space, or did he let old grudges cloud his judgment?

The air crackled with tension as the bar owner stood firm, his past clashing with the present. Memories of snarky comments and condescending vibes from classmates lingered, making the idea of hosting their reunion feel like reopening a wound. Readers can’t help but wonder: should he forgive and forget, or is standing his ground a justified power move? His choice has the town talking, and the stakes feel personal for anyone who’s ever faced a high school haunt.

‘AITA for not allowing my high school reunion to happen at my bar?’

I'm (25M) from the UK, but it's a tradition with my old secondary school (also known as high school, that term is quickly becoming more popular here) to have 'unofficial' reunions.. By unofficial, I mean it's usually just some classmates from school who organize the thing on Facebook.

With my school, the reunions would always take place at this nice bar in my town centre. It's a very popular bar here, but the previous owners went to the same school as me so they had an understanding with former classmates who wanted to host a reunion there occasionally.

So for that day, the bar would always be reserved for the reunion. As I said it's a small town. Around last year I took ownership of that bar. I own quite a few properties and run my own business, but I thought this property would be nice on the side. So a few months ago, I get an invite on Facebook for a HS reunion at this bar.

This surprised me because they clearly must have been unaware that it's me who now owns the bar. They must have just assumed things were as they were. I wasn't bullied in high school per se, but I was treated like I was below others, especially in the social standing.

People would often have a condescending vibe towards me like I was 'beneath' them, and sometimes I got snarky comments that I was a virgin and loser and weirdo etc. The girl who organized this reunion would often have this vibe towards me, and make snarky comments towards me, e.g. 'still being a loser playing xbox and getting no girls?'.

I decided that I wouldn't allow this reunion to happen at my bar, and that I wouldn't attend. I posted a message on facebook page saying that I now own the bar and that i wouldn't allow it to take place at my bar. This immediately angered people as they were looking forward to going to that bar and getting free drinks.

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But I said it's my choice. Some days after, the girl.who organized it saw me at the bar and called me selfish AH, etc.. I said that it's my choice and that she can go elsewhere, that I'd prefer to run the bar as usual.. I told this to my friends and they said I was slightly assholsuh. AITA?

Deciding who gets to use your space can feel like navigating a social minefield, especially when old high school dynamics are at play. The bar owner’s refusal to host the reunion reflects a deeper struggle between personal boundaries and social expectations. On one side, he’s protecting his peace, asserting control over his business after years of feeling belittled. On the other, his classmates expected tradition to continue, unaware of the new ownership and his lingering resentment. Their entitled assumption, especially the organizer’s past mockery, fuels his decision, but it also risks alienating a tight-knit community.

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This situation taps into a broader issue: how past experiences shape professional decisions. According to a 2019 study by the University of Warwick (warwick.ac.uk), workplace and social bullying can leave lasting psychological impacts, influencing trust and interactions years later. The bar owner’s reaction suggests unresolved pain from high school, where social hierarchies often amplify exclusion. His choice to block the reunion is less about pettiness and more about reclaiming agency.

Dr. Emma Seppälä, a psychologist and author, notes, “Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect, but it’s crucial to balance personal healing with professional pragmatism” (emmaseppala.com). Her insight highlights the bar owner’s right to say no, especially to those who disrespected him. However, she’d likely caution that public refusals, like his Facebook post, could escalate conflict unnecessarily, potentially harming his business’s reputation in a small town.

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For solutions, the bar owner could consider hosting the event on his terms—charging for drinks and setting clear rules—to turn a personal slight into a business win. Alternatively, a private conversation with the organizer might have clarified intentions without public drama. Moving forward, he could establish a clear booking policy to avoid similar conflicts, ensuring his bar remains a welcoming space while protecting his emotional boundaries.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s hot takes are as spicy as a late-night bar debate! Here’s what the community had to say about the bar owner’s bold move:

ujelijiiii − NTA people can’t treat you like crap and then expect you to do them a favor.

[Reddit User] − NTA. They should have contacted you and asked to hold it at your bar, instead of just expecting you to be okay with it just because you were class fellows. You wouldn’t have been the a**hole even if they had treated you fine in school.

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justmy2centsforyou − Hang on, in the past the bar wouldn't just be reserved for and host the reunion, it would also provide free drinks?

gkrgreat − Info: why not have the event but with no free drinks? Seems like you would make money, off the people you don’t like = win... unless you would make less off them than you would with regular trading

[Reddit User] − ESH, but also not smart, if this is a small town why would you want to alienate what is likely a significant portion of your customer base, if a different bar becomes the go to place then its reasonable to assume others will follow suit for their non-reunions, as well as grow ill will towards you, If im going out with a group of friends,

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and a single member of the group says 'lets not go there the owner/bartender/regular is a d**k' then the whole group is likely happy to oblige , taking our business elsewhere, we don't even question it. this is very short sighted on your part,. should you give them free drinks? no. should you have pulled the this is mine and youre not welcome?. Dude!. do you want to stay in business?

dookle14 − NTA - it’s your bar, if you don’t want to have your high school reunion there then you aren’t obligated to. High school reunions typically are just a one or two time thing anyway (at least in the US) so this sounds like it’s more of just a regular hangout than a reunion.

That being said, it would be a power move on your part to have all these people who treated you poorly in high school come to your bar and buy your drinks. Plus, business is business...but again, you aren’t obligated to host this event.

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Unhappy-Oven − I mean this seems like a pretty s**t business decision but it's your bar

lanuevachicaobond007 − You should rethink this for your business. Turning these people away could give the bar a bad rep. Yes, they are there for one night but they all have friends, family, etc., who might want to patronize the bar in the future. People are really shallow: the mean kid from HS might be impressed with all your success at such a young age.

johnasauris − NTA you don’t owe those people anything if they you don’t want them in your bar they don’t have to be there

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Abyssal_Minded − NTA. I’m from the US, and you’re telling me they didn’t call ahead/reserve a time at the bar? And they assume free drinks without paying for an open bar? They just say “it’s at x day, come on in”? You are not the AH by any means. New ownership means new rules, and if you say no, they have to follow that. Plus that girl probably just got a reality check after calling you a loser after all these years.

These opinions show Reddit’s split: some cheer the owner’s stand, while others see a missed business opportunity. But do these takes hold up in the real world, or are they just keyboard bravado?

The bar owner’s saga leaves us pondering the weight of old grudges versus new opportunities. His stand was bold, but was it worth the town’s raised eyebrows? In a small community, personal and professional lines blur, making every decision a balancing act. What would you do if old high school rivals expected a favor from your hard-earned success? Share your thoughts—would you open the doors or lock them tight?

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