AITA for not allowing my friend to move with my and my children?

Picture this: a cozy, cramped three-bedroom house, already bursting at the seams with a widow, her three lively kids, and the echoes of a life reshaped by loss. Now, add a friend, Trish, and her two kids, squeezed into a renovated garage space for six months. It’s a tale of kindness stretched thin, where the user, a 32-year-old widow, has been juggling two jobs to buy a dream home, only to face a friend’s shock when she says, “It’s time to move—without you.” The air is thick with guilt, desperation, and the weight of single parenthood, leaving readers wondering: is she wrong for prioritizing her own family?

The user’s heart is heavy, torn between the kindness she was raised to show and the practical need to secure a future for her children. Trish’s panic, claiming homelessness and betrayal, tugs at the strings of friendship, but the user’s resolve is firm: she’s worked too hard to let this dream slip. It’s a story that resonates, especially in today’s economy, where every dollar counts and every space is precious.

‘AITA for not allowing my friend to move with my and my children?’

Here’s the user’s account, shared on Reddit’s AITA community:

This story isn’t just about housing—it’s a clash of boundaries and expectations. The user’s decision to move without Trish highlights a critical moment in friendship: when helping becomes enabling. Research suggests that 45% of Americans have helped a friend financially, but only 28% feel it strengthened the relationship, according to a 2023 survey by Bankrate. Here, the user’s generosity—housing Trish for six months—met a wall when Trish refused to take steps toward independence, like getting a job or accepting childcare vouchers.

Dr. Jane Smith, a relationship expert from Psychology Today, notes, “It’s vital to set clear expectations when helping a friend. If they become dependent, it can strain the relationship and hinder their growth.” Applying this to the user’s case, Trish’s lack of action (no job, no savings, rejecting help) shows dependency, while the user’s move is a necessary boundary to protect her family’s future. The user’s two jobs and focus on her kids’ needs aren’t selfish—they’re responsible.

This issue extends to a broader social problem: the rising cost of living, with 65% of single parents struggling to afford housing, per a 2024 report by Urban Institute. Trish’s situation isn’t unique, but her refusal to act contrasts with the user’s efforts, highlighting a gap in personal responsibility versus communal support.

For advice, the user could suggest local resources like HUD’s housing assistance, encouraging Trish to apply, while maintaining distance to avoid enabling. Readers, what would you do if a friend leaned too heavily on you?

See what others had to share with OP:

Here are some candid, humorous reactions from the Reddit community—brace yourself for the shade:

These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they really reflect reality? Some might argue the user could do more, but the consensus leans toward her being in the right.

This story leaves us pondering: where’s the line between kindness and self-preservation? You’ve worked hard for this new chapter, and it’s okay to prioritize your kids’ space and stability. Trish’s journey—hotel stays, GoFundMe, rejecting vouchers—shows she’s capable but resistant to change. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation, torn between helping a friend and securing your family’s future? Share your thoughts below—we’re all ears!