AITA for not allowing my eldest daughter (24f) to come stay with me in my new big house after she was kicked out by her boyfriend?

Imagine a sprawling new house, a fresh start after years of hardship, where the rooms echo with both opportunity and old wounds. For one Redditor, a divorced father with a troubled past, the chance to rebuild his life comes with a painful test: his eldest daughter, estranged since the divorce, needs a place to stay after her boyfriend kicked her out. His refusal, laced with a bitter “lol,” sparks a family firestorm, with his ex-wife calling him out and guilt creeping in.

This AITA post is a raw dive into the scars of addiction, divorce, and fractured family ties. The father’s past as an alcoholic and verbally abusive husband looms large, and Reddit’s not holding back on whether he’s blowing a chance at redemption. Is his refusal a fair boundary or a petty jab at a daughter who chose her mom? Let’s unpack this messy family saga.

‘AITA for not allowing my eldest daughter (24f) to come stay with me in my new big house after she was kicked out by her boyfriend?’

This family drama cuts deep, blending past regrets with present choices. The OP’s refusal to let his eldest daughter stay feels like a jab rooted in old hurts—her siding with her mom during a brutal divorce. His past as an alcoholic and verbally abusive husband shaped her childhood, and her choice at 16 to distance herself was less betrayal and more self-preservation. Now, at 24, her anxiety and sudden homelessness make her plea for help a chance for reconciliation, not revenge.

Family estrangement often stems from unresolved trauma. A 2024 study by the American Psychological Association found that 27% of adult children cut contact with a parent due to past abuse or toxicity (APA.org). As family therapist Dr. Joshua Coleman explains, “Rebuilding trust after a parent’s harmful behavior requires consistent, empathetic actions, not score-settling” (Psychology Today). The OP’s “lol” and refusal signal lingering resentment, not the changed man he claims to be.

Coleman’s insight highlights the missed opportunity here: letting his daughter stay could’ve been a step toward healing. Her introversion and anxiety, likely worsened by a chaotic childhood, make her need for support even more poignant. The OP’s claim that she’s an adult who can “sort her s**t out” ignores how his past actions shaped her struggles. The broader issue is how parents navigate guilt and accountability—denying help out of spite only deepens the divide.

For OP, a better path is to offer temporary support, like a month’s stay, with clear boundaries to address her anxiety and his comfort. An apology for his past and an open talk could start mending things. He should also verify his legal history—Reddit’s skepticism about jail time for child support suggests gaps in the story.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s bringing the heat on this one, with sharp takes that don’t shy away from calling out pettiness or digging into the past. Here’s the community slicing through the drama—brace for impact!

These Redditors are laying it on thick, but do their harsh judgments miss the OP’s side of the story, or is he truly stuck in old grudges?

This father-daughter clash is a stark reminder that past mistakes can haunt families for decades. The OP’s refusal to help his daughter feels like a jab at her teenage choices, but it risks cementing their estrangement. With a new house and a second chance, he could rebuild—or burn—the bridge. Have you ever faced a family rift where old wounds shaped a big decision? Would you open your door or hold the line? Share your thoughts below and let’s untangle this emotional mess!