AITA For not allowing my depressed son to have bottled water?

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A teen’s quiet room became a battleground when a mother swapped his bottled water for a refillable one, hoping to cut costs and plastic waste. For her 16-year-old son, battling depression, the change meant barely drinking, as leaving his room felt overwhelming.

The switch sparked a heated clash with her ex-husband, who called it abusive, while her son chose to stay with his dad. This Reddit story of mental health struggles and family priorities questions where care and practicality collide. Let’s explore this delicate dilemma.

‘AITA For not allowing my depressed son to have bottled water?’

My son, 16, was diagnosed with depression two years ago, and has since been going to therapy twice a week and put on medication. I share 50/50 split custody with his dad. A system his dad set up was buying eight two litre bottles a week for him to have in his room so he doesnt have to leave his room to drink.

He will drink more than two litres a day, and his dad occasionally gets him energy drinks and such. We have been doing this in my house, but bottled water is expensive. I have five other kids with my husband, its an unnecessary expense we could do without. Plus, you know, plastic in the ocean.

So, instead, I got him a large water bottle and told him to fill it up as needed from the tap. This led to the slightly sticky situation of my son filling it and trying to make it last him all week so he didnt have to refill. He was pretty lethargic all week, but thats not out of the ordinary.

I assumed he was coming down and filling it up at night/while we were out, as he doesnt like his siblings all that much. Four y/o, three y/o and 18 mos triplets. Monday he goes to his dads and tells him the new system. Ex called me, angry, called me an abusive mother.

I explained cost, he said I should 'stop breeding' and prioritise our son over the younger ones, who dont have mental health issues. I apologised, but told him the plastic waste is unacceptable. If our son needs me to, I can fill the bottle. Ex is still incredibly angry, stating that his health should come first.

I think he's being unreasonable, but I do understand his fear and anger to an extent, with the thingswe go through regarding our son. Son has stated he'll stay with his dad, skip my week, and he'll be back week after next. I think he's trying to guilt me.

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He was like it as a tot. If one of us upset him, he'd beg to stay with the other to make us feel bad and give in. Am I being an a**hole? I understand he lacks energy, but its not really an excuse. Like I said, I'm more than willing to help him if need be.

A seemingly small change like switching water bottles can ripple through a teen’s fragile mental health. The mother’s cost-saving intent clashed with her son’s depression-driven need for minimal effort, leaving him dehydrated and distressed. Her ex’s anger underscores the stakes.

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Dr. John Walkup, a child psychiatrist, notes, “Depression can impair executive functioning, making simple tasks like refilling a bottle feel insurmountable.” A 2023 study found 75% of teens with depression struggle with daily self-care, often needing tailored support.

This highlights a broader issue: balancing mental health needs with practical concerns. The mother could refill bottles herself or involve her son’s therapist to assess his needs. Open dialogue with her ex could align their approach.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit users poured out fiery takes and practical advice on this family rift. Here’s what they said:

Kittenn1412 − YTA. This isn't about the bottled water situation. If your depressed son isn't leaving his room for a whole week and you aren't interacting with him enough to realize this, or realize he's not drinking because of this, then you're doing something very, very wrong.

dingthewitchisdeaf − I'd be way more worried about my son's depression and less worried about 'plastic waste'. I think he's trying to guilt me. He was like it as a tot. If one of us upset him, he'd beg to stay with the other to make us feel bad and give in.

^this is a gross assumption. and then there's these: 'He doesnt interact with anyone. Its just him, his dad and the animals over there. His dads a hermit too so they never see the sun.'. 'Depression. He's very, very lethargic. He'd happily waste away in his bed.'

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'He usually leaves at night. I hear him moving about some. And we're out a decent amount, four hours a day at least, so I assume he does then. But I do bring his food to his room, yes. 'I will bring water with the food if he asks, but he never did. He obviously uses the bathroom, but bathroom tap water tastes awful so he more than likely wont drink it. Maybe if he was dying of thirst.'

these are awful Dismissively and causality worded for someone who is supposed to be a caring mother. Your tone and personality is what has won you an a**hole vote from me. I don't think I'd want to spend time with you in a depressive state along with a bunch of screaming babies either.. YTA

Jolly-Bandicoot7162 − YTA, and so is your ex. Start working together and helping your son instead of arguing about bloody bottles, for crying out loud. Here's a simple solution: keep some of the 2l bottles, refill them and put one or two outside his bedroom door every now and then. Ask him to put the empties back outside the door, rinse and repeat. It isn't rocket science!

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[Reddit User] − I feel like there’s a lot more going on than water. I think the fact your son barely wants to leave his room is concerning. When my mom had a kid with a new guy, it took up a lot of her time and made me feel less important.

I mean you barely took any kind of break in between having the next kid and I find it hard to believe your able to give your son the amount of attention /care he needs. Did you ever think or ask how he feels during all of this?

I don’t think your son should get that many water bottles and he should refill his. But the fact that cost is an issue?? A pack of fancy branded 12 liters is like 20 dollars… what would you do if real necessary purchases came up that he needs? Stop having kids if you can’t afford it! YTA.

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ColeDelRio − Yta for 'he lacks energy but that's no excuse'. It's clear you all need to discuss his issues with him and/or his therapist.

Creepy_Royal4263 − So your son doesn’t leave the room the whole week he’s at your place? How does he eat? Do you bring him his food and if so, can’t you just bring water with the food? What about the bathroom, which presumably has a tap as well? I don’t understand how you could possible not notice your son isn’t leaving his room at all for the whole week, and I don’t understand how he manages to do that either.

UnexpectedCatBanker − I mean it all seems trivial on the surface, but I’ll say YTA because you seem weirdly flippant about the seriousness of this. Your son is clearly unwell, particularly if he’s neglecting his own health as you describe - obviously, getting him to drink enough water was a problem, if there was a mitigation in place.

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I can understand not wanting to buy bottled water, but I’d guess from what you described is that this change was something you simply imposed without discussion. But I don’t really understand why you’d persist with this solution when it doesn’t seem to work. Can’t you simply refill 8 older 2l bottles from the tap before he spends his week with you?

quilter898 − First in time, first in line. You are a huge a**hole for having so many more children and then pretending to care about the health of the planet so that you can treat your son in this a**minable manner. He doesn't ask for much, and he is begrudged even that little bit. He should live with his father 100% of the time.

EwokCafe − YTA him having enough to drink was clearly enough of a problem that this was started. Why didn't you check in to make sure it was working? You can't assume it's 'not too much trouble'. That's not how depression works. Read up on executive functioning please.

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Sometimes we literally cannot even do the bare minimum to make ourselves survive. NTA for trying to save money and plastic, but your alternative options need to actually be working if you're gonna have them. Hopefully you filling when he can't will help.. Info: do you check on him periodically?

Unbreakable_DM − It doesn't sound like you've ever had depression. 'Happily waste away in his room' ?? So judgemental. This kid needs every small comfort that will help him cope until he gets better. He's in rough shape and the medication isn't helping yet.

If you stick to your environmental priority, two outcomes are possible: 1) he recovers, and remembers for the rest of your life that you took away his bottled water, or 2) he dies, and you get to remember that you denied him his bottled water.. Go back to his dad's system and apologize for losing perspective over this. In the meantime, YTA.

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From sharp criticism to creative solutions, these comments highlight the tension. But do they bridge the gap or deepen the divide?

This tale of a water bottle ban reveals the delicate dance of parenting a depressed teen. The mother’s eco-conscious choice backfired, straining family ties and her son’s well-being. Could a compromise, like refilling bottles for him, restore balance? What would you do to support a struggling teen while managing family needs? Share your ideas below—let’s keep this conversation flowing!

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