AITA for not allowing my brother and his wife to take wedding pictures on MY wedding?

In a sunlit venue buzzing with wedding joy, a bride’s big day teeters on the edge of chaos. Her brother and sister-in-law, fresh from an elopement, beg to stage their own wedding photos—complete with white dress and tux—amid her celebration. Offering a compromise, she draws a line: no bridal attire during her event. But when they crash the party in full wedding regalia, drama erupts, and groomsmen show them the door.

This Reddit saga sparkles with tension, blending family ties, bold moves, and the sacred spotlight of a wedding day. It’s a tale of boundaries pushed and patience tested, leaving everyone wondering who crossed the line. Let’s waltz into this matrimonial mess and uncover the heart of the clash.

‘AITA for not allowing my brother and his wife to take wedding pictures on MY wedding?’

Husband and I  34,35. Brother (Jack) and SIL (Hannah)  22,24. ​ My husband and I recently got married. About a week before the event, Jack and Hannah asked if they could take their wedding pictures as well after our ceremony and during the reception. I asked if they meant when everything was over but they clarified that they wanted people in the pictures.

The reason for their request was that they eloped, so they didn’t get to have the whole wedding experience and they wanted the pictures to show their future kids and hang on their future home. I can understand why they would want that, so I told them that they could take pictures but either before the events or after the guests had left.

That’s because they planned to come dressed in wedding attire and I didn’t want them to be wearing that during the wedding. They tried to convince me to change my mind but I stood my ground with when they could take the pictures and they ended up saying that they didn’t want to take them anymore. I thought nothing of it and just carried on with my life.

Until, the day of the wedding they arrived with a photographer and Hannah was wearing a long white dress. The guests had already arrived, so I told my MOH to please tell them to change clothes. Hannah and Jack refused so the groomsmen kicked them out. After the wedding, my mother asked where they were and I told her.

She agreed that they shouldn’t have done it but that I could have let it slide since they were already here. She also said that everyone who attended the wedding knew who the couple was, so it’s not like they would’ve caused any confusion.

I‘m beginning to feel bad because they just wanted to have nice memories and pictures to show in the future and I ruined it for them. My husband and MOH say that I did nothing wrong but I feel like they’re biased.. ​. AITA? If I am I’ll apologize and offer to pay them back for the photographer.

Weddings are sacred, but this one turned into a family face-off. The bride’s brother and sister-in-law, craving wedding photos post-elopement, ignored her clear boundaries by arriving in bridal attire. Her compromise—photos before or after—was generous, yet their defiance, culminating in a white dress at her reception, stole her spotlight and sparked their ejection.

Etiquette expert Elaine Swann, in a 2023 Brides article, states, “Guests must respect the couple’s day—wearing white or upstaging is a major faux pas” (source). The couple’s choice to elope meant forgoing a big wedding, so their attempt to piggyback on the bride’s event feels entitled. The bride’s firm stance protected her moment, though her mother’s “let it slide” plea highlights family pressure to appease.

This reflects a broader issue: 55% of couples face guest-related stress, per a 2024 WeddingWire survey (source). The brother’s disregard risks long-term family strain. Swann advises, “Clear communication prevents missteps.” The bride could’ve reiterated boundaries pre-wedding, but the couple’s refusal to change clothes left her no choice.

Moving forward, the bride might offer a heartfelt talk, not an apology, to mend ties—perhaps suggesting a private photo session for them. The brother and sister-in-law owe her an apology for their disrespect. This story reminds us weddings are about the couple, not crashers.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s ready to toss the bouquet on this one! Here’s a roundup of the spiciest takes, served with a side of sass—because nothing says wedding drama like a white dress showdown!

crabrry - NTA. You offered them way more than I would’ve, yet they decided to try and s**ew you over.. Don’t worry about it OP, and congrats on your wedding!

StAlvis - NTA. they eloped, so they ~~didn’t get to have~~ **actively chose to forego** the whole wedding experience. FTFY.

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up_your_bass - NTA! You were more than generous in offering them the chance to take photos before or after the wedding. The level of entitlement they have to even ask to take photos in their wedding outfits during your wedding celebration is astounding. If you elope, surely you are actively choosing to not partake in that side of things anyway? Good on you for standing your ground OP.

ashleighbuck - She agreed that they shouldn’t have done it but that I could have let it slide since they were already here. Uh, no? You explicitly told them no. She showed up to your wedding IN A WEDDING DRESS. You were right to kick them out. **NTA.**

DespicableRhodiumFox - You are absolutely NTA. They chose to elope, that was their decision, not yours. They could have opted for a nice big ceremony with lots of guests and photos etc.. You were being accommodating enough by saying they could take the pictures after your ceremony, minus the guests.

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The fact they turned up and tried to upstage you at your own wedding is despicable. The fact they refused to change clothes when asked is beyond words. Having the groomsmen kick them out was absolutely the right reaction. They didn’t respect you, your husband or your wedding. They owe you an apology, not the other way around. They’re the AH’s, NOT you.

Forward_Ad_7988 - this is one of the more bizzare things I read on Reddit so far... a couple wants to come dressed as the wedding couple on a day of someone elses wedding and take photos that would look like it was their own wedding?! interesting... and no wonder they got kicked out. NTA

PasswordResetButton - NTA. I get it. They wanted to take pictures with your family. That's borderline fine. But if they wanted the big wedding they should have invited people if possible. They are really big assholes for dressing like it was their wedding. Come on, you learn not to do that s**t when you're like 5 years old.. NTA for kicking them out.

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DesertSong-LaLa - NTA - Letting it slide cause, '...they're already here' is enabling. They asked and you said yes with parameters. They were certainly committed to have it their way & disrespected you. Best to you.

HoneyIsSweetest - NTA. They asked. You said no. End of story. The fact they tried to force your hand on the day is their own problem and they can cover the costs.

AlarmedExperience928 - Here come the couple 🎶. And some trouble 🎶. Theyre married but didnt want any hubble bubble 🎶. Didn't want a band 🎶. But photos they demand 🎶. You're NTA, they can go pound sand 🎶

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These Redditors didn’t mince words, but do their takes hold up?

This wedding-day drama leaves us pondering: where’s the line between family wishes and personal boundaries? The bride’s stand protected her spotlight, but her brother’s bold stunt left family ties tangled. Whether you’re Team Bride or Team Compromise, this story sparks big questions about respect and celebration. What would you do if family crashed your big day? Drop your thoughts below—let’s keep the convo as lively as a reception dance floor!

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