AITA for not allowing alcohol?

Picture a sun-soaked Fourth of July, where the splash of a backyard pool promises family fun—until a booze ban turns the vibe sour. A homeowner, wary of alcohol’s risks around young kids and water, laid down the law: no drinks at their pool party. With small children splashing about, they saw it as a safety must, not a buzzkill. But their family, itching for festive beers, dubbed them a “fun vampire,” sparking a holiday showdown.

The host didn’t budge, offering three choices: sober up, skip the pool, or host elsewhere. When pushback persisted—even from their wife—they pulled the plug, locking the pool and opting for fireworks instead. It’s a tale of safety versus celebration, where firm boundaries met family entitlement. Was the host too strict, or just guarding their poolside peace?

‘AITA for not allowing alcohol?’

I have a pool and agreed to host the fourth of July celebration for our family, because no one else really has a nice space. I've always been of a mind that alcohol + water don't mix. Alcohol contributes to numerous drownings every year. There will be several small children present at this event, some of whom can't swim.

ADVERTISEMENT

I have a pool and agreed to host the fourth of July celebration for our family, because no one else really has a nice space. I've always been of a mind that alcohol + water don't mix. Alcohol contributes to numerous drownings every year. There will be several small children present at this event, some of whom can't swim.

I'm not signing up to babysit everyone else's kids. I told everybody if they come to my party they can't bring alcohol and got huge pushback. I said fine, that I can just close the pool instead. They don't want that either. I suggested someone else host. No one volunteered.

I'm not signing up to babysit everyone else's kids. I told everybody if they come to my party they can't bring alcohol and got huge pushback. I said fine, that I can just close the pool instead. They don't want that either. I suggested someone else host. No one volunteered.

I'm getting a lot of pushback from people saying you have to drink on the Fourth of July and people saying I'm a killjoy and a fun vampire. I feel I have presented three reasonable options. Option 1, no alcohol. Option 2, no pool. Option 3, don't come to my house.

ADVERTISEMENT

I'm getting a lot of pushback from people saying you have to drink on the Fourth of July and people saying I'm a killjoy and a fun vampire. I feel I have presented three reasonable options. Option 1, no alcohol. Option 2, no pool. Option 3, don't come to my house.

My family are all pissed and even my wife says I'm being too strict and we could compromise by disallowing hard liquor but letting people drink beer. I don't really see how that's a solution though. Am I a fun vampire?

My family are all pissed and even my wife says I'm being too strict and we could compromise by disallowing hard liquor but letting people drink beer. I don't really see how that's a solution though. Am I a fun vampire?

ADVERTISEMENT

Update: I retracted my offer to host. There will be no pool party. They can get drunk wherever they like, but my pool will be locked up and my family is gonna go watch fireworks. I'm so sick of entitled people.

Update: I retracted my offer to host. There will be no pool party. They can get drunk wherever they like, but my pool will be locked up and my family is gonna go watch fireworks. I'm so sick of entitled people.

ADVERTISEMENT

This poolside spat dives into the deep end of safety versus social norms. The host’s alcohol ban, driven by drowning risks around kids, clashed with family expectations of a boozy Fourth. Their firm stance—backed by three clear options—shows a commitment to safety, but the pushback, even from their wife, reveals how tradition can trump precaution. Canceling the party was a bold move to dodge inevitable rule-breaking.

Dr. Timothy Hoff, a safety expert, notes in a 2022 American Red Cross article, “Alcohol is a factor in up to 70% of recreational water deaths.” With non-swimming kids at play, the host’s caution was grounded—drowning risks spike when adults are impaired. A 2020 CDC report confirms alcohol impairs supervision, a critical factor with young children near water.

ADVERTISEMENT

The wife’s beer compromise might’ve eased tensions, but the host saw no gray area—booze is booze. A softer approach, like designated sober supervisors, could’ve bridged the gap. For similar hosts, experts suggest clear safety rules upfront and hiring a lifeguard for peace of mind.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit crew splashed into this debate like kids doing cannonballs, serving up opinions with a mix of support and shade. Here’s the raw scoop from the online crowd, dished out with a patriotic zing:

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA. Back when I was a lifeguard, I used to work private events like this for the exact reason you are concerned OP. Adults wanted to have fun (fair), kids were present, pool was open. Easy solution was to throw some cash and a burger at an 18 year old to watch the kids.

toonsee − NTA. Your house, your rules. Could you have a portion of time for swimming (no alcohol), then close the pool and then allow people to drink around dinnertime?

ADVERTISEMENT

SiroccoDream − OP, NTA but you need to cancel hosting the party. It’s a given, by the way they’re all acting, that these people are planning to bring alcohol no matter what you say. You won’t be able to stop it, if everyone is just blatantly drinking,

and there will be crazy drama when you inevitably start throwing people out of your house because of it. Kids will be crying, adults will be shouting, cops are going to get called, it will be a hot mess.. Tell ‘em the Fun Vampire has spoken, there shall be no 4th of July celebration at your house!

ADVERTISEMENT

Immortl_Hilandr − As a former peds ER nurse, I can get behind your desire to not have drowning kiddos/people.. Edit: NTA

GraveDancer40 − Info: Does your family have a history of getting stupid drunk? Because my vote really depends on that. If you KNOW your family are going to get trashed and messy, than I see your point, but if your family is more the type to just have a couple of drinks while sitting around and no one is going to get messy, than I think it’s a little much.

ADVERTISEMENT

TheBattyWitch − The audacity of people wanting to use you and your stuff but not have to abide by your rules..... NTA And personally? As a surgical trauma ICU nurse, thank you for being responsible. I work this weekend and the 4th, and I know it's going to be a f**king s**t show of blown off limbs and MVCs because it is EVERY 4th of July.

TheDuchess5939 − NTA. Your house, your rules. America doesn't really deserve a birthday this year though tbh.

ADVERTISEMENT

butterflyinflight − People saying they aren’t capable of having a good time without alcohol just confuse me. Also, if you have small kids, maybe getting trashed when there’s a pool nearby might not be the best option. I don’t get why so many seem to think the guests are entitled to use OP’s pool and risk someone drowning.

I think the options offered are more than fair. If I was OP, I think I’d just decide having a party wasn’t worth it and make other plans. Who wants to be a babysitter so everyone else can ignore their responsibilities. NTA

privacyishard − NAH. Opening your home means your terms, but I wouldn’t go to a 4th of July party with those rules. It’s up to parents to be responsible and stay sober enough to watch their own kids (at least one of them), so I get the potential guests not liking the host being the alcohol police. They can go elsewhere and probably will, or else they will bring alcohol anyways and just be sneaky.

Neither-Copy785 − INFO: why are you making the decision unilaterally when your wife disagrees with you? Is there a detail I'm missing?

ADVERTISEMENT

Redditors mostly backed the host, praising their safety-first mindset while scoffing at the family’s entitlement. Some suggested compromises like timed swimming, but others saw the cancellation as a power move. Do these takes dive into the heart of the issue, or just skim the surface?

This tale of a locked pool and a canceled party shows how safety can sink festive plans when boundaries clash with expectations. The host’s stand protected kids but alienated kin, proving tough rules come at a cost. It’s a reminder that hosting means setting terms, but compromise can keep the peace. What would you do if you were hosting this splashy shindig? Share your thoughts—how would you navigate this boozy battle?

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *