AITA for not agreeing to give my sister my second hand baby items?
In a sunlit living room, a young mother sips coffee while her toddler plays nearby, surrounded by carefully stored baby gear—cribs, clothes, and car seats, all reserved for a hoped-for second child. But tension brews as her younger sister, newly pregnant, assumes these items are hers for the taking. The mother’s refusal ignites a family clash, with parents chiming in, urging her to share for the sake of “family.”
This tale of boundaries and expectations unfolds as the woman stands firm, her heart set on her future plans. With her sister’s baby shower looming, the debate over who owes what to whom stirs up questions: is family entitled to your belongings, or do personal plans come first?
‘AITA for not agreeing to give my sister my second hand baby items?’
Saying no to family can feel like defusing a bomb, especially when it’s about baby gear. The OP’s refusal to share her daughter’s items stems from practical planning—IVF is uncertain, and those items are her investment for a potential second child. Her sister’s assumption that she’d get everything free, backed by parental pressure, highlights a clash of entitlement versus autonomy.
This reflects a broader issue: family expectations around sharing resources. A 2022 study by the Family Relations Institute found 65% of parents face pressure to share personal belongings with siblings, often framed as “family duty” (source). Dr. Sarah Kline, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Setting boundaries with family is healthy, but guilt-tripping can make it feel selfish” . Her insight suggests the OP’s stance is reasonable, though it stings her family.
The sister’s expectation ignores the wear and tear on items and the OP’s financial foresight, like reselling for hundreds. The parents’ argument that items can be returned overlooks potential damage or loss. While the sister can afford her own gear, her entitlement risks straining their “great” relationship.
For solutions, the OP could offer to share less critical items, like toys, while keeping essentials. A calm discussion, perhaps with a mediator, could clarify boundaries.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
Reddit brought the sass, serving up support with a sprinkle of shade. Here’s what they said:
![[Reddit User] - NTA. Your sister made a big assumption, counted on it and now she is disappointed. Not your problem.. This is none of your mother's business. Just say, 'this is not open for discussion'....period. These are your things that you bought and they are yours to keep. You do not OWE your sister anything. You also do not have to JUSTIFY your behavior. Stand your ground.. That's what family does? Yeah, as long as it comes out of YOUR pocket!](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/314530c-03.png)
![[Reddit User] - NTA. I get so tired of the collective effort of other people trying to use pressure to tell someone else what to do with their own stuff. You paid for your baby’s clothes and car seat. It’s your stuff. Maybe you would’ve reconsidered had someone asked you if you’d consider giving some things, or maybe not. If you say no, people need to back off and stop pressing you.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/314530c-04.png)
From calling out the sister’s entitlement to warning about damaged goods, these comments are spicy. But do they see the full picture, or just cheer for the drama?
This story pits personal plans against family expectations, with baby gear at the heart of the drama. The OP’s choice to keep her items sparks debate: is she protecting her future or shutting out her sister? Have you ever faced pressure to share with family? What would you do when “family duty” clashes with your own plans? Share your thoughts below!
