AITA for not adopting my wife’s child?
Imagine a marriage stitched together after infidelity, where a man plays “fun uncle” to his wife’s son, born from a one-night stand. For five years, their deal holds: he’s a step-parent, not a dad, and won’t adopt the boy. But when she pushes for more, urging the child to call him “dad,” the fragile truce shatters. Spurred by Reddit, he packs his bags, files for divorce, and walks away, free of legal ties but haunted by the fallout.
This Reddit saga is a raw unraveling of trust, boundaries, and a child caught in the crossfire. Was his refusal and exit a stand for honesty, or a cold abandonment? It’s a story that burns with betrayal and the cost of unhealed wounds, pulling readers into a moral maze.
‘AITA for not adopting my wife’s child?’
This Reddit post lays bare a man’s struggle with a role he never chose and the marriage it broke. Here’s his story, unfiltered:
![[Update] after reading everything, I told my wife I was leaving and pursuing that divorce. I think I've been ready to do so for a while, but just needed the push. This has led to a complete melt down, but I stayed firm, packed everything up, and moved in with my brother across town. I have already contact the landlord to tell him I would pay for 2 more months rent.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/261585update-01.png)
This marital collapse is a stark lesson in unresolved trauma and mismatched expectations. The man’s refusal to adopt stems from lingering pain over his wife’s infidelity, compounded by his infertility, making the child a constant reminder of betrayal. His “uncle” role was a compromise, but her recent push for adoption violated their agreement, eroding trust further.
Therapist Dr. Shirley Glass notes, “Infidelity’s scars require ongoing communication to heal; forcing new roles reopens wounds” (Source). A 2023 study in Journal of Marriage and Family found that 60% of couples post-infidelity struggle with boundary violations, often leading to divorce (Source). The wife’s manipulation of the child was a desperate bid for family unity but backfired, confusing the boy and alienating her husband.
His divorce decision, while abrupt, reflects self-preservation, but his emotional distance from the child—innocent in this mess—raises questions. “Children need stability, not resentment,” Glass advises. He could’ve sought mediation to renegotiate boundaries before exiting. The wife needs to prioritize her son’s clarity over her own agenda.
Check out how the community responded:
Reddit dished out takes as sharp as a lawyer’s pen. Here’s what the crowd had to say:
![[Reddit User] − YTA for how you treat this child. You should have gotten a divorce long ago. Your options should have been to get a divorce or fully accept this child and raise him as your own. This halfass role you're playing is a load of crap.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/261585cmt-11.png)
These Reddit opinions are as raw as a fresh wound, but do they miss the child’s long-term emotional stakes?
This story is a gut-wrenching mix of betrayal, boundaries, and a boy left in limbo. The man’s exit freed him from a role he couldn’t embrace, but his wife’s overreach and the child’s confusion linger. Could therapy have salvaged their deal, or was divorce inevitable? What would you do in a marriage strained by infidelity’s child? Share your thoughts—have you ever faced a partner’s push to rewrite your role?
