AITA for not accepting that our housekeeper to do my in-laws additional house chores?

In a bustling household, a new mother juggles work, a baby, and a live-in housekeeper who keeps chaos at bay. When daycare falls through, the plan shifts: the baby stays with the in-laws, and the housekeeper tags along to help with light tasks. But the mother-in-law’s “homework” of ironing and deep cleaning sneaks onto the housekeeper’s plate, sparking a fiery clash over boundaries and fairness that threatens to upend a delicate balance.

This Reddit saga simmers with tension, as a mother fights to protect her housekeeper from exploitation while her husband wavers under his mother’s sway. The housekeeper, caught in a power imbalance, struggles to say no, leaving the OP torn between loyalty to her family and fairness to her employee. It’s a relatable drama of overstepped lines and the messy dynamics of in-law expectations.

‘AITA for not accepting that our housekeeper to do my in-laws additional house chores?’

A mother’s stand to protect her housekeeper from her mother-in-law’s overreach highlights a clash of expectations in a blended family arrangement. The housekeeper, hired for the OP’s home, was stretched to cover baby-related tasks at the in-laws’ with a 25% pay bump. But the MIL’s demands—mopping and ironing—push beyond the agreed scope, risking the housekeeper’s well-being and the OP’s trust in her husband, who initially sided with his mother.

Domestic workers often face exploitation due to power imbalances. A 2023 report by the International Labour Organization notes that 60% of live-in domestic workers globally report uncompensated overtime, often due to unclear boundaries. The housekeeper’s reluctance to refuse extra tasks reflects this vulnerability, especially as a live-in worker dependent on the OP’s household for housing.

Dr. Eileen Boris, a labor studies expert, observes, “Domestic workers’ rights hinge on clear contracts—employers must enforce boundaries to prevent overwork”. The OP’s insistence on limiting tasks is a step toward fairness, but her husband’s wavering risks enabling his mother’s exploitation. The decision to hire a separate cleaner for the in-laws is a practical fix, though not communicating it to the MIL may stir further tension.

To resolve this, the OP should formalize the housekeeper’s duties in writing, explicitly excluding non-baby-related chores at the in-laws’. A direct conversation with the MIL, backed by her husband, could reinforce these limits. Offering the housekeeper support, like time off or a platform to voice concerns, would empower her. This story invites reflection on advocating for fair treatment in complex family dynamics.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit users largely backed the OP, calling her NTA for shielding her housekeeper from the MIL’s overreach. They criticized the MIL for treating the housekeeper like a personal servant, sending ironing as “homework,” and urged the OP to set firm boundaries. Many faulted the husband for not confronting his mother, stressing that the housekeeper’s role isn’t to clean two households.

Some users questioned why the housekeeper was involved at the in-laws’ at all, noting the 25% raise doesn’t cover a second household’s chores. They highlighted the power imbalance, suggesting the housekeeper’s compliance stems from fear of losing her job or housing. The consensus urged protecting the housekeeper and rethinking the arrangement entirely.

This tale of a housekeeper stretched thin by in-law demands brews a potent mix of loyalty, fairness, and family tension. The OP’s fight to protect her employee from exploitation, even at the cost of spousal harmony, underscores the weight of doing right. Have you faced in-law expectations that crossed lines? Share your stories—how do you balance family demands with fairness to others?