AITA for no longer being the maid of honour for my sister’s wedding after her fiancé humiliated me?

In a sun-dappled Italian villa, a family reunion for a wedding takes a sour turn. A young woman, eager to mend a childhood mistake, finds herself the target of a cruel prank orchestrated by her sister’s fiancé, Nino. What started as a heartfelt attempt to apologize to his cousin Luca spirals into public humiliation, leaving her mortified. Her role as maid of honor, once a point of pride, now feels untenable.

The incident, rooted in a decades-old grudge, exposes tensions beneath the festive surface. Nino’s betrayal and Luca’s lingering resentment turn a joyful occasion into a battleground of egos. As Reddit weighs in, this tale of family ties and wedding woes sparks a fiery debate about respect, forgiveness, and the cost of a bad joke. Was her exit from the wedding party justified, or did she overreact?

‘AITA for no longer being the maid of honour for my sister’s wedding after her fiancé humiliated me?’

My sister is getting married soon to Nino. As part of the pre-wedding celebrations our family is visiting Nino’s family in Italy. My dad is very good friends with Nino’s dad and uncle as they all grew up together, so this isn’t our first-time meeting most of them.

Nino has a cousin, Luca, who I made an enemy out of when I was 9 because I told our dads that he pushed me into the water when I actually slipped and he got into a s**t load of trouble. I haven’t seen him since we were children so I thought he would be over it by now but he very clearly wasn’t and seemed to hate my guts judging by how he looked at me.

He’s going to be Nino’s best man and since I was supposed to be the maid of honour, I thought it would be good for us to put the past behind us so I tried to apologise to him multiple times in English but he acted like he couldn’t understand and he only ever spoke Italian around me.

I asked Nino to translate my apology for me but he told me it would mean more if I said it to him myself in Italian to show that I was genuinely sorry. He taught me how to say what I wanted to say but Luca was never alone so I was finding it hard to find a chance to apologise.

One day he was sitting with a group outside and Nino told me to just say it in front of everybody since Luca was avoiding me. I said it, and everybody who spoke Italian found it hilarious. I had no idea what was so funny until Luca asked me in English to repeat what I said.

I tried to apologise in English but he told me to say it in Italian again. After I said it, he stood up and told me to come inside with him and he would f**k my brains out. I was angry and embarrassed so I told him to stop being disgusting and he told me that was what I just said to him.

Nino found it hilarious, as did everybody else. I yelled at him and so did my sister. I ended up telling them I wouldn’t be the maid of honour anymore because the groom was a p**ck. My sister is begging me not to drop out of her wedding and has told Nino to apologise multiple times but I still don’t want to do it or be around Luca and Nino more than necessary.. AITA?

This wedding prank gone wrong reveals a troubling lack of respect in a moment meant for unity. Nino’s decision to trick his fiancée’s sister into saying a vulgar phrase, under the guise of an apology, reeks of immaturity and malice. Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist, states, “Healthy relationships require mutual respect and trust, especially in high-stakes settings like weddings” (Psychology Today). Nino’s actions undermined both, turning a sincere gesture into a spectacle.

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Luca’s grudge over a childhood incident—when the woman was just nine—further complicates the dynamic. Holding onto resentment for decades suggests unresolved issues, which Nino exploited rather than mediated. A 2021 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 68% of family conflicts at weddings stem from unresolved past grievances (SAGE Journals). This prank highlights a broader issue: the need for open communication to heal old wounds.

The sister’s plea for her to stay in the wedding, while understandable, overlooks the emotional toll of public humiliation. Dr. Heitler advises that “rebuilding trust requires genuine accountability, not just apologies.” Nino’s laughter and lack of sincere remorse suggest he prioritizes amusement over empathy. The woman’s decision to step back protects her dignity, a choice supported by the need for self-respect in family dynamics.

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For resolution, she could set clear boundaries with her sister, explaining her need for distance from Nino and Luca. If she chooses to attend the wedding, limiting interactions with them could help. Couples counseling for her sister and Nino might address his behavior before the marriage deepens. Readers are encouraged to reflect on how they’d handle a betrayal disguised as a joke in their own family celebrations.

See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit crowd swooped in with a mix of outrage and wit, serving up a buffet of support for the woman’s stand. They didn’t hold back, roasting Nino’s childishness and Luca’s pettiness with gusto. Here’s the unfiltered take from the community:

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[Reddit User] − NTA. You were f**king 9 years old. F**k that whole lot.

TemptingPenguin369 − NTA. This is disgusting. I wonder if OP's and Nino's dad have been told about this. Don't give in to your sister on this.

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Briarrose1021 − Absolutely NTA. First, you were 9! We all make mistakes when we're 9. That fact that Luca is still holding a grudge over that makes him an a**hole. Second, the fact that Nino took advantage of your desire to make things right for the wedding and your lack of knowledge of Italian to provide entertainment for him based on good humiliation makes him a HUGE a**hole.

Third, good for your sister for yelling at Nino with you, but her thinking an apology will fix it and make it better and her begging you to not back out makes her a small a**hole. Do not back down on this.

Nino made a choice on his behavior, now he and your sister have to face the consequences of that behavior. Yes, it sucks that your sister had to find another bridesmaid on short notice, but that's Niko's fault and his problem to fix.

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Limp_Row8413 − NTA seriously what kind of brother in law is that?. He clearly don’t respect you, what he thought he would achieve with this prank? You shouldn’t be guilty about not wanting to be MOH anymore,

and u sister should understand your side, if she even have to ask him multiplies times to apologize, if i were her i would be thinking if i really want to be with a person like that for the rest of my life

Infamous_Pen6860 − Nta, their idea of payback was entirely disproportionate to what you did as a child. I am not familiar with Italy, but in my home country rape culrure is a real problem, so a 'joke' like this would go beyond unfunny and into danger territory.

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ritan7471 − NTA. Cousin needs to get over himself and grow up and the groom is a real piece of work. You don't need to be around those people. I wish your sister luck in the life she has chosen.

[Reddit User] − NTA. You tried to apologize for crappy behavior when you were a child of 9. They decided as adults to humiliate you as revenge. That is not a person I would marry. Honestly anyone who thinks this was reasonable or okay is as big a stinker as Nino and Luca.

Luminoose − NTA. It's daft of Nino's cousin to hold a grudge for something that happened when you were kids, and just as daft of Nino to behave so immaturely when you're just trying to make amends (though you needn't apologise for it). Also, the people who are having a go at you for not googling what Nino said to make sure it was correct are ridiculous.

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If someone who is part Italian, has Italian family members that they were raised alongside, I have known for years and seems to speak Italian tells me how to apologise in that language, I'm not going to doubt them or their intentions.

Saraqael_Rising − OMG You were nine when you did this, you're adults now. Your future BIL needs to grow up. Feeding you words in Italian to ask Luca to eff your brains out when you're trying to apologize is idiotic.

If this is their idea of karma is best served on a cold dish, I feel sorry for your sister who is marrying him. NTA I wouldn't stand beside my sibling marrying someone with the mentality of a second grader.

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[Reddit User] − NTA.. Don’t change your mind.

These Redditors rallied behind her, slamming the prank as cruel and questioning Nino’s character. Some urged her to stand firm, others wondered if her sister’s choice in partner needs a second look. But do their fiery takes capture the full story, or are they just fanning the flames? This wedding drama has tongues wagging and opinions flying.

This Italian escapade shows how a single prank can unravel trust and tarnish a celebration. The woman’s choice to step down as maid of honor was a bold stand for self-respect, refusing to let humiliation slide. Weddings should unite, not divide, but Nino’s actions turned joy into embarrassment. How would you react if a family member’s partner humiliated you at a big event? Share your thoughts and stories below—let’s unpack this wedding wreckage together!

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