AITA for naming my son Harry Potter?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a quiet nursery bathed in soft morning light, a new mother gazes at her three-week-old son, his big blue eyes sparkling beneath a shock of bright-red hair. Her heart swells with love, but a shadow lingers—grief for her father, whose sudden death left her world shattered. Naming her son Harry Michael Potter was meant to honor her dad, but the choice has unleashed a storm of ridicule. What seemed like a heartfelt tribute has turned into a social media saga, leaving her questioning her decision.

The online world can be a ruthless place, especially for new parents navigating personal loss. As mom-shaming comments flood her Facebook, this mother’s story raises a question: how far should love and loss guide our choices? Her tale, shared on Reddit, captures a raw moment of vulnerability, sparking debates about names, legacy, and the weight of public opinion.

‘AITA for naming my son Harry Potter?’

I took my husband's last name when I married him, his last name is Potter. We've been married for ten years and have recently had our first child. Originally the plan was to call our future son Louis (Lew-Ee) Michael, my husband's middle name being Michael, Louis being a name we both liked. However, during my pregnancy my dad passed away tragically and unexpectedly.

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He had been having abdominal pain and fatigue for some months and we begged him to get treatment but he didn't. He ended up having an aortic aneurism behind the wheel of his car. He made impact with a traffic pole but he was dead before impact. It destroyed me, we were incredibly close, and his death ended up causing my pregnancy to go from easy and calm to high-risk.

I'm still mourning him. It's been four and a half months and I'm still not over it. My dad's name was Harry, and conveniently his middle name was also Michael. I wanted to honor my father by calling my son after him. But that would mean his name is Harry Potter. Anyway, I decided to not let the book series and movies rule my emotions and decision, and my lovely little boy with big blue eyes and bright-red hair is called Harry Michael Potter.

He's only about three weeks old and we're totally in love and he's a decent little dude, we'll probably end up keeping him. I had a professional photo of him taken and formed into a birth announcement, which I sent out via USPS, and later put onto Facebook. Being a birth announcement Harry's full name is on the announcement.

I've been getting an unending amount of ridicule and shaming from people for calling my son Harry. To add insult to injury one of my so-called 'friends' shared the birth announcement with a meme page and now I'm getting it from everywhere.

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My husband and I love the name, there's no question of keeping it, but I'm at the point where I'm considering asking my husband if he would mind if we change Harry's last name to my maiden name, so he'd be Harry Michael Vaughn. I'm pretty sure he'd agree since he's getting annoyed too.

The worst is the shaming online. Y'all know the toxic culture of Facebook and mom-groups, I'm having people accuse me of child-abuse, people saying I need to have the authorities, CPS, whatever, called on me.. Am I the a**hole for naming my son Harry Potter?

ETA: just based on the first few comments which my husband and I are both reading together there's a nice mix of each judgement and we're taking each one into account. Changing Harry's first name is not an option. It's a good name, it grows well, it suits a boy and a man, it's normal and classic. Right now our decision is to change his last name.

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We can afford it and it isn't that much trouble since he's only three weeks old. So I guess the big question, should he just be Harry Michael Vaughn or would Harry Michael Potter-Vaughn work? Or should we just drop the Potter altogether? My husband has said that if we drop Potter from Harry's name then he'll just hyphenate his own last name and become 'Richard Potter-Vaughn'.

ETA: So, based on the comments, I'm more than willing to accept I'm an a**hole for naming my son Harry Potter, I guess let's say hormones and grief fueled my decision. Next week we're gonna go down to the courthouse and change Baby Harry's name from Potter to Vaughn. So he'll be Harry Michael Vaughn. My husband is going to start the process to change his name to Vaughn-Potter, which means we'll match, because I've hyphenated my name 'Jane Vaughn-Potter.' It'll be a process but Harry is worth it.

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ETA: I've supplied an edit where I accept my judgement and the advice offered. I'm done answering comments because now they're literally repeating each other and I'm not going to answer every Tom, D**k, and *Harry* who tells me to change my son's name. If y'all had read the whole post including my edits then you'd see that's already the plan. Sorry I can snap my fingers like Thanos and change it now but I'm a human. Mazel Tov!

Naming a child is a deeply personal act, often tangled in emotion and tradition. For this mother, choosing Harry Potter was a way to keep her father’s memory alive, but the cultural weight of the name brought unexpected challenges. The clash between her heartfelt intent and the public’s reaction highlights a broader issue: how do we balance personal meaning with societal perceptions?

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Dr. Pamela Rutledge, a media psychologist, notes, “Names are powerful social signals. They can shape identity and influence how others perceive us” . In this case, the mother’s grief-driven decision overlooked the pop culture baggage of “Harry Potter,” inviting scrutiny. While her intent was pure, the name’s fame risks overshadowing her son’s individuality, as Reddit users pointed out.

This situation reflects a larger societal trend: naming conventions are evolving, with unique names rising in popularity. A 2023 study by BabyCenter found that 15% of parents regretted their child’s name due to social feedback . The mother’s pivot to Vaughn shows adaptability, a step toward shielding her son from future teasing.

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For parents facing similar dilemmas, experts suggest considering a name’s long-term impact. Using a meaningful name as a middle name, as some Redditors advised, can honor loved ones while avoiding unwanted attention. Open discussions with partners and trusted friends can also ground emotional decisions in practical reality.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit hive mind didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of sympathy and sharp critique. Here are some hot takes from the community—candid, colorful, and occasionally brutal:

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Poekienijn − YTA. If you think you get ridiculed it’s nothing compared to what your son is going to get.

[Reddit User] − Not majorly but I do think YTA. This kid is going to get made fun of his whole life. He’s never going to hear the end of it, whether it’s friendly jokes or actual bullies. He’s going to have to constantly explain to people that “yes, that’s my real name, I’m not joking” .

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You seem to only be considering how you feel about the name and not how it will affect him the rest of his life. I’m not saying this makes you a s**tty person and I understand why you want it but why not make Harry a second middle name?

[Reddit User] − YTA - Even if this is real, this is terrible. You’re going to honor your father by having your son be constantly ridiculed. Smart 👍

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Alternative_Answer − I'm sorry but YTA. Your family reasons were good, but there's still the realty of the world we live in, and it's harder to name a more well-known character. Good chance he's going to start going by his middle name instead.

Couldn't you have made Harry his middle name and still honored your father without the constant threat of teasing? It's not child-abuse though, that's taking it about ten degrees too far. More like not really understanding the impact this is going to have.

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[Reddit User] − dude, you are the a**hole. you are, 100%, the a**hole, and you've so fucked up. i genuinely, truly do not give an ounce of a s**t for your multitude of reasons and excuses for why your son so desperately needed to be named *harry* f**king *potter*--your son is in permanent cosplay now and it's your fault. this is playing life on a difficulty setting he absolutely does not deserve, *and it's your fault*.

you may as well have had him be spongebob squarepants or tony stark if you're not seeing the point. here's some advice--you change this s**t *now* and you get him to a good name he can actually go by and avoid ridiculing for the rest of his life. and if you don't? well, YTA.. edit: god i dont care that any of you think im mean. stop replying to me

carolinemathildes − In response to your edit, Harry Michael Vaughn sounds a lot better than the hyphen. Drop the Potter.

[Reddit User] − You're not *an* a**hole, but in context, yes, you're *the* a**hole. YTA. Change his name to Michael while he's still too young to remember any of this.

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[Reddit User] − YTA. He‘ll get bullied for that fkn name

M0506 − Back in 1999, there was an article in (I think?) Time magazine that talked about real-life Harry Potters, and how much grief they were getting because of the book series. One guy couldn't order pizza, another guy got prank calls asking about the Sorcerer's Stone, et cetera. That was 1999, when there were three Harry Potter novels and no movies. Imagine how much worse it'll be today. YTA.

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shendrad − As much as I love the HP franchise, I have to say YTA because you know it would cause some problems for your kid and give them another reason for other kids to tease him. And, like you mentioned, people online are savage. Childhood is hard enough without a novelty name. You could make his middle name Harry but please don't make it his first name.

These opinions pack a punch, but do they capture the full picture? Grief and love can blur judgment—does that make the mother an a**hole, or just human?

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This mother’s journey from tribute to turmoil shows how deeply names can resonate—and how quickly they can spark judgment. Her willingness to change her son’s last name reflects a commitment to his future, proving love can evolve through reflection. What would you do if a heartfelt choice brought unexpected backlash? Share your thoughts—have you ever faced a naming dilemma or seen a name spark debate?

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