AITA for making my mother get her own hotel room for my daughter’s birthday trip?

A dream Disney World trip for a little girl’s fourth birthday teeters on the edge of chaos, thanks to a sneaky chihuahua plan. Picture a family buzzing with excitement, packing for a magical getaway at Shades of Green, a military resort with ironclad rules. But the OP’s mother, known for freeloading, dropped a bombshell: she’s bringing her poorly trained dog, despite a strict no-pet policy. Her lie about getting approval sparked a fiery showdown.

The tension isn’t just about a pet—it’s about respect and boundaries. The OP, fed up with replacing carpets ruined by the dog’s messes, drew a hard line: get your own hotel or stay home. Now, with accusations flying, the Reddit community weighs in on whether this ultimatum saves the trip or fractures family ties. Let’s unpack this messy tale.

‘AITA for making my mother get her own hotel room for my daughter’s birthday trip?’

We have a four day trip to Disney world planned for our daughter's fourth birthday. We found out last night that my mom planned on bringing her old chihuahua and not telling us, she actually lied to my sister and said she asked my wife and she cleared it.

Both me and my wife hate my mom's dog's (there were three, the other two died recently) for reasons that mostly add up to them being poorly house trained. We have had to replace two bed room carpets because of them freely pissing and shitting wherever they please, despite me consistently telling her to not bring them to my house.

 The resort we're staying at is the shades of green resort for military members that has a strict no animals policy, my mother is also a bad free loader. I called her earlier to tell her she can't bring the dog because

of this policy and I'm not getting in trouble with an Army run resort because she thinks she's going to let an untrained animal just walk around the room and relieve itself wherever it pleases. I was met with 'she's mine and I'll do what I want', at that point I just told her that's not how it works and she can find another place to stay.

She's on a limited income, but routinely expects people to pay for her things for her without a second thought. If she wants to act this way I have no problem with her not coming at all and missing out on her grand daughters birthday trip, but I'm just curious what anyone else would do since this behavior is mostly acceptable on my mom's side of the family for whatever reason.. 

A family trip meant to celebrate a child’s milestone shouldn’t be derailed by a pet’s chaos. The OP’s mother, by planning to sneak her untrained chihuahua into a no-pet resort, not only risks breaking rules but also disregards her son’s boundaries. Her history of freeloading and lying about permission escalates the conflict, pitting her sense of entitlement against the OP’s need to protect his family’s experience and avoid penalties.

This situation reflects broader issues of family dynamics and boundary-setting. A 2021 article in Family Relations notes that unclear boundaries in families can lead to resentment, with 68% of surveyed adults reporting stress from relatives overstepping limits. Here, the mother’s refusal to board her dog or respect the resort’s policy shows a lack of accountability, while the OP’s firm stance prioritizes his daughter’s special day.

Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist, writes in Psychology Today , “Healthy boundaries are essential for family harmony; without them, entitlement festers.” Her insight applies directly: the mother’s expectation that others accommodate her dog ignores the OP’s past experiences with property damage. The resort’s strict policy further justifies his decision, as violations could lead to fines or eviction.

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The solution? The OP should hold firm, ensuring the trip stays focused on his daughter. His mother can board the dog or find a pet-friendly hotel, options that respect both the resort’s rules and family boundaries.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit squad jumped in with no-nonsense takes, dishing out support like a family barbecue with extra spice. Here’s the raw scoop from the community:

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TamaraYC − NTA. She can either board fido or pay her own way. She doesn't get both.. She seems to think that her dog using a hotel room as its personal toilet is normal. It isn't.

ToPiggyback − NTA. But I would double down on her getting her own room. With a history of lying, she'll still probably bring the dog no matter what she says about boarding.

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Swegh_ − NTA - it’s never too late to set boundaries. If she shows up with the dog, you need to turn her away. “Nope sorry we told you the policy. Get your own hotel or go home”. 

ETA - she had no respect for you by allowing her dogs to mistreat your house. She doesn’t care because you allow it and thinks you’ll continue to allow it. You need boundaries and consequences for when she crosses those boundaries.

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Slugdirt − NTA Shades of Green is a hotel for members of the military and their families at a discounted rate at a Disneyworld. If your mother wants to disrespect the hotel's policy, she can stay somewhere else on her dime.

lapsteelguitar − Why do you allow the dog(s) in your house? The fact that she shows up with them is not a good reason.  Beyond that, if the room is in your name, then you are liable for any damage the dog does. And any penalties for having the in the first place.

I hate to say this, but you need to shut your mom down. Hard. Tell her that if she brings the dog, the dog is not coming in, be it the hotel or your house. Then comes the hard part: you have to enforce it. Hard.

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Constantly_Dizzy − NTA at all. I don’t see how anyone could think you were. Even if animals were allowed I would still think you were NTA, but considering she wants to make you complicit in breaking the rules of the resort too, she is TA for sure!

Imagine if you had the room together, her dog makes a mess, she got caught & you all were kicked out, she could ruin the birthday trip entirely.  She needs to either sort out a place for her & the dog to stay, or get someone to pet sit while she is away. Hold firm OP, you are in the right.

Please-beware − NTA, you’re going to be the one having to deal with the consequences of this. how is she going to sneak the dog in when she’s planning on having it shart and p**s freely throughout the hotel room?

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Does she really think that’s acceptable behavior to leave s**t streaks and p**s stains all throughout an army resort with a no pet policy? Even if the dog was potty trained, unless she’s royalty or has a service dog I don’t see why she thinks she should be allowed to surpass the no pet policy. EDIT: typo

ECU_BSN − NTA. She will need to get her own hotel room. Period.. It’s not even your rule to make or enforce.

Pharmacienne123 − NTA. And thank you for your service. Your mom is way out of line here and your ultimatum is fair.

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Fun-Tourist-7395 − NTA - nope I agree with you. It’s quite funny that a person who is freeloading wants to “do as they please” when it’s not on her dime. Nope, keep your foot down.

Leave the dog at home and dtay with you or go find your own hotel or hell, don’t come at all. You did the right thing. This trip is about your daughter. Not her selfish need to bring a dog that’s not allowed. She’s actually ridiculous.

Redditors backed the OP’s boundary-setting, slamming the mother’s entitlement and sneaky tactics. Some urged enforcing consequences if she shows up with the dog, while others questioned her disregard for rules. But do these bold opinions capture the full picture, or are they just stoking the fire? This family clash has everyone talking about respect and responsibility.

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This Disney trip drama underscores how quickly family plans can unravel when boundaries are ignored. The OP’s stand protects his daughter’s joy, but it risks straining ties with his mother. Her refusal to prioritize the trip’s rules over her pet highlights a deeper issue of entitlement. How would you handle a relative who bends rules at the expense of your plans? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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