AITA for making my husband and children prove they can take care of a dog without my help?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a cozy suburban home, tension simmers over a furry debate. A woman, wary of becoming the default dog-walker in a house buzzing with kids and a husband clamoring for a pet, lays down the law with a clever test. Her reluctance isn’t born of a cold heart but a keen awareness of countless tales where one person shoulders the pet-care burden. With vivid determination, she crafts a plan to ensure her family’s ready—or not—for a four-legged friend.

Her conditions spark a clash of wills, drawing in nosy grandparents and Reddit’s vocal crowd. The story unfolds as a relatable tug-of-war between family dreams and practical reality, inviting readers to ponder: how far would you go to protect your peace while keeping a pet out of harm’s way? This tale of responsibility and resolve sets the stage for a lively discussion.

‘AITA for making my husband and children prove they can take care of a dog without my help?’

Before we got married and had kids my husband and I agreed that all big decisions required two yes or no votes. Well our two oldest kids and my husband want a dog. I do not. I have heard too many horror stories about a family getting a pet and then the person who did not want it being stuck caring for it.

I finally agreed on three conditions. One, smaller than sixty pounds, we do not need a mastiff. Two, a non shedding dog only. None of us are allergic, I just don't want extra work. Three, for sixty days in a row they had to collect all the garbage from all the trash cans in the house and put it in the big garbage bin.

That was to make sure they would remember to feed a dog every day. And for sixtrt days they, all three of them, had to go for a one mile walk twice a day. With the GPS route tracker active. If they missed a day they had to start over.. The longest they have made it so far is two weeks.

My parents called me up to say I was being ridiculous and petty. I 100% agreed with them. But since they always side with the kids I was ready for them. I sent them a link for a dog walking service in my area. It is very reasonable.

I said if they wanted a say in the dog decision they had to agree to set up an account with that company and that I could call up the company for help whenever their precious, perfect, grandchildren and son-in-law forgot to take care of the dog. They said I was being a jerk and that they had the right to their opinion.

I agreed that they had that. But unless they were willing to pay to include their opinion in the decision it did not matter. My husband has finally seen that the kids aren't responsible enough to have a dog. Great. He said we needed to tell them.

I said that 'we' was one too many people. I wasn't the one who sided with them when I had said I knew they were not ready.. He thinks I'm being a d**k.. No one has called me an a**hole but that's only because they say it in much more polite terms.

Deciding to bring a pet into the family can feel like opening a new chapter, but it’s not all wagging tails and cuddles. The woman’s skepticism about her family’s readiness isn’t just caution—it’s a masterclass in foresight. Her conditions, like daily walks and chores, mirror the relentless demands of pet ownership. Yet, her family’s two-week stumble shows the gap between enthusiasm and commitment, leaving her to face criticism from grandparents who seem more sentimental than practical.

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This scenario reflects a broader issue: pet neglect due to underestimated responsibilities. According to the ASPCA, nearly 6.5 million companion animals enter U.S. shelters annually, many because owners couldn’t handle the commitment. The woman’s test wasn’t petty—it was protective, ensuring no dog ends up neglected. Her approach, though sharp, aligns with preventing the all-too-common cycle of adoption and surrender.

Dr. John Bradshaw, an anthrozoologist, notes in a BBC article, “People often underestimate the time and effort pets require, leading to regret.” Here, the woman’s insistence on proof applies Bradshaw’s insight directly—she’s shielding both her family and a potential pet from a hasty decision. Her sarcastic jab at her parents’ meddling, demanding they fund a dog-walker, cleverly shifts accountability back to the critics.

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For solutions, clear communication is key. The family could revisit the challenge with adjusted expectations, like shorter walks, to build discipline gradually. Consulting a pet care expert or attending a pet responsibility workshop could also align their enthusiasm with reality. This approach fosters teamwork while keeping the dog’s welfare first, encouraging readers to share their own strategies for navigating family decisions.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit crew dove into this doggy drama with gusto, serving up a mix of applause and witty side-eyes. Here’s what they had to say about the woman’s clever gambit:

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SecretJealous4342 − NTA. AITA is literally full of posts about people taking care of pets they didn't want. Dogs are a long term commitment. Has your husband taken into account that your kids will be in school, extracurriculars, dating, etc. Depending on how old your kids are they may even move out. Who will be taking care of the dog then?

Difficult_Jury_4734 − NTA. This was brilliant planning

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MoonInvestors − NTA and great tactic to show them the responsibility that comes with a pet. Also, beautifully handled with the grandparents. Watch out, I could see grandparents buying someone a dog for a birthday..

Glanced4 − NTA - Even though every step along the way was pushing the fuzzy border of A**hole-dom, I'm giving you N-T-A clearance on this. Most people don't understand the responsibility required to own a dog.

Many dogs are neglected and mistreated because of it. And often the responsibility for preventing those things from happening falls on the most responsible member of the household, which sounds like you. Only thing I'll add is this: give them another chance. People can learn discipline and change.

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junglemice − Found this a really interesting read!. Love the addition of household chores to mimic dog care responsibilities as a practice run. I do think dog walking would be a lot more motivating than walking without a dog, so I have some empathy for your kids for struggling to stick with that.

I think a mistake a lot of people make is to adopt a pet that 'belongs' to a child. Children's interests ebb and flow so much, and year-to-year their other responsibilities change (e.g. school demands, navigating growing up).

I honestly think any parent adopting a pet 'for' a child has to understand that ultimately the animal is that parent's responsibility. You were right to include your husband in this, OP. I reckon that these rules feel harsh as a reader, but ultimately you've protected a dog from being neglected or unnecessarily uprooted and rehomed. NTA, OP.

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ghostlasagnaslime − NTA. I don't even think what you did was petty. It seems like a reasonable way to determine if your kids are ready for the responsibility of having a dog, and your husband proved that he is not willing to make up for where they're lacking.

You absolutely would have had to look after the dog. You already told the kids you don't think they should have a dog. I don't know why you'd have to do it again. They need to hear it from their dad too.

MichiganMainer − I stupidly showed this post to my wife. Now my dog dream is dead. YTA just for that :).

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Efficient_Onion9434 − NTA.. Well done.. You wanted to be proven wrong, and you were proven right. Your family is not ready to be pet owners. And your grandparents adding their 2 cents, fair enough. If they can talk the talk, they can walk the walk.. You already said no. Your husband can add his now.

christmas_bigdogs − NTA this was smart and prevented the possibility of a dog being neglected and rehomed in the future. Love how you handled the grandparents too!

TrayMc666 − NTA at all. I love my 2 dogs very much, but they’re so much work. Picking up the dog poops from the garden when it’s been raining for hours is a special kind of hell. You’re just trying to make them understand how much work is involved in having a dog. That can’t be a bad thing. It’s the truth.

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These Redditors cheered her strategy or chuckled at her family’s flop, but do their hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just barking up the right tree?

This story isn’t just about a dog—it’s about drawing lines and standing firm when the stakes are high. The woman’s clever conditions saved her from a furry fiasco while teaching her family a lesson in responsibility. Her tale sparks a question: how do you balance family wishes with practical limits? What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep the conversation rolling!

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