AITA for making my boyfriend eat meat at my family gathering even though he’s vegetarian?

Picture a cozy family gathering, twinkling with holiday cheer, until a forgotten detail turns the turkey centerpiece into a relationship landmine. For one 28-year-old woman, introducing her vegetarian boyfriend to her family hit a snag when she realized the only main dish was mom’s prized turkey. In a panic to save face, she urged him to choke down a plateful and sing its praises, leaving him fuming and their bond on shaky ground.

This tale is like a festive feast gone awry, where good intentions clash with personal principles. Reddit’s serving up piping-hot opinions, and the question sizzles: was her push to avoid awkwardness a harmless misstep, or a betrayal of her boyfriend’s values? Let’s carve into this juicy drama and see what’s at stake.

‘AITA for making my boyfriend eat meat at my family gathering even though he’s vegetarian?’

My boyfriend (24) and I (28) have been together for two years. Yesterday, we were visiting my family because we won't be able to be with them on Christmas, so we wanted to drop off some presents. It was also the first time that my boyfriend met my entire family, so it was kinda important.

Here's the thing, I forgot to tell them that my boyfriend is vegetarian, so my mom made a turkey and there wasn't really anything else to eat, beside some snacks. When I realized that, I quietly asked my boyfriend to please not cause a scene, and just eat the food and compliment my mom on it.

He tried to argue back, saying that he doesn't wants to lie to my mom but I told him he would come across as rude if he didn't atleast tried it, and I didn't wanted him to make a bad impression. So he sucked it up, ate an entire plate and told my mom that it was delicious, which obviously made her happy.

We had a good evening and everyone seemed to like him, but when we drove back home he brought it up again and said he thinks it was kinda f**ked up of me to expect him to eat meat, when I know how much it disgusts him. I get his point and I apologized to him, bit I still don't think that it's *that bad* to eat a bit of turkey once, to not make a weird first impression on my family. AITA?

Forcing a vegetarian to eat meat to dodge family awkwardness is like asking someone to fake a smile through a root canal. This woman’s oversight—forgetting to mention her boyfriend’s vegetarianism after two years—set the stage for a cringe-worthy dinner, but pressuring him to eat turkey crossed a line. His compliance kept the peace, but his resentment signals a deeper issue: her priorities leaned toward family optics over his principles.

Vegetarianism often ties to ethics or health—70% of vegetarians cite moral reasons for their diet (Vegetarian Society, 2023). Dr. Melanie Joy, a psychologist and author, notes, “Disrespecting someone’s dietary choices can feel like invalidating their identity, especially when it’s coerced” (Psychology Today, 2024). The woman’s minimization of his discomfort—“it’s not that bad”—ignores potential physical and emotional harm, as meat can upset long-term vegetarians’ digestion.

Her apology is a start, but rebuilding trust means owning the mistake fully. She could have explained his diet to her mom mid-dinner, sparing him the ordeal. Moving forward, proactive communication—like sharing his preferences in advance—can prevent repeats.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s dishing out takes hotter than a roasted turkey, and they’re carving into this dietary debacle with gusto! Here’s what the community had to say:

Sk111W - YTA respecting your boyfriends feelings, beliefs, and personal decisions should be more important than avoiding A slightly awkward situation, especially one that would have been your fault for not mentioning he was vegetarian in the first place

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[Reddit User] - YTA. People who practice a vegetarian diet often stop producing the enzymes to digest meat. You care more about impressing your family than you do about his ability to eat the food in front of him.

It is pretty effed up to expect him to eat meat; many people choose to be vegetarian because of their religious practices and spiritual convictions. You ignored his needs, so yes, YTA. (edited to add: everyone discussing this subject regarding gut bacteria is correct, and I'm glad that people are chiming in with better info.)

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PingPongProfessor - YTA for even *asking*, let alone bullying him into actually doing it. I'm surprised that he (a) went along with it, and (b) hasn't dumped you already. How do you 'forget' to tell your family that someone you've been with for *two years* doesn't eat meat? 'Forget' my ass. You don't agree with his vegetarianism, and you intentionally didn't tell them.

jacquilynne - YTA. Being a vegetarian isn't weird, so telling your family he is a vegetarian wouldn't have been a weird impression. Especially if you had done it advance, as you should have. You owe both your boyfriend and your mom an apology. Him for asking him to eat meat when he doesn't and her for not telling her so she could properly accommodate her guest.

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[Reddit User] - YTA What the hell is wrong with you? I’m actually surprised he is still dating you. What you did is an incredible 🚩

MaybeTuesdayIWill - You are an amazingly giant a**hole. Also, your relationship is over.

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no_rxn - You've been with him for TWO YEARS and you've NEVER meantion in the span of TWO YEARS to your own MOTHER that he is vegetarian???? Not on a call like 'Oh, we tried the new place that opened up and we're lucky they had a lot of vegetarian options for SO!' Or 'SO made a delicious vegetarian meal last night I think you should try when you meet him!'..

Yeah, sounds like YOU have the issue with him being vegetarian. I honestly hopes he sees what a MASSIVE red flag this is, manipulating someone into eating outside of the dietary choices/ beliefs. Also, long-term vegan and vegetarians aren't well equipped to handle meats and it can make them sick. You chose bullying your boyfriend and potentially making him sick over one second of awkward conversation.. Huge YTA

ShauChow - YTA. Wow, I really thought there was gonna be a good explanation here but holy s**t. It was your fault that your family didn’t know, your fault that your boyfriend didn’t have anything to eat & your fault that it would have “caused a scene”. Making him actually eat meat is so horrendous on your part & then having the guts to minimise it and shift the blame on him. Shame on you

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SpeedBlitzX - Info Is this a joke post?

YouretheAH - YTA. I would have dumped you in front of your family and left.

These Redditors are Team Vegetarian, but is the girlfriend’s push a forgivable flub, or a relationship dealbreaker? Can this couple patch things up over a meat-free meal?

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This holiday mishap serves up a lesson: love means respecting your partner’s choices, even when mom’s turkey is the star of the show. Our Redditor’s push to keep the peace left her boyfriend with a bad taste, threatening their bond over a plate of poultry. Should she double down on her apology, or is the damage done? How would you handle a family dinner that clashes with your partner’s values? Drop your take below and let’s digest this drama together.

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