AITA for making my 12 year old son take care of himself and his his ten year old brother for a week?

Charlotte Morse Hours
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Picture a bustling household where a mom, a dedicated teacher, juggles work and chores, only to face her 12-year-old son’s outburst over unwashed clothes. Enter Dad, who’s had enough of the attitude and hatches a bold plan: send Mom on a well-deserved Mexico getaway while their son takes charge of laundry, meals, and his younger brother for a week. It’s a lesson in empathy served with a side of dish soap.

The boy’s protests echo through the house—spring break shouldn’t mean work, he insists. But Dad, working from home to supervise, sees it as a chance to teach responsibility. Readers can feel the tension between tough love and teenage grumbling. Is this punishment too harsh, or a clever way to build character in a kid who needs a wake-up call?

‘AITA for making my 12 year old son take care of himself and his his ten year old brother for a week?’

I came home about a month ago and caught my son yelling at his mom about his clothes. He was asking her how hard it was to make sure his clothes were cleaned. I took him to the laundry room and made him do laundry for the family.

I taught him what clothes could go together and what should not. My wife is a teacher and she works her ass off to make sure we have a nice home to live in. She tells me what she needs me to do and I take care of it. Beyond my share of the housework I mean.

Well my kid needs to be punished and I thought of the best possible way to do it. I'm sending my wife to Mexico with her school friends over spring break. I'm going to work from home that week and keep an eye on the kids. It won't be difficult because I'm putting the older one in charge of the younger one.

He will be doing laundry, making breakfast and lunch for both of them and making sure the kitchen and dining room stay clean. He said it's unfair to make him work over spring break. I asked him if he thought it was a full time job to do all that I was expecting of him.

He said yes it was a full time job. I pointed out that his mother and I both have full time jobs and still manage to do everything that he is whining about. He called my mom to see if he could stay there for spring break. She tried to tell me I was being cruel to her poor baby.

I asked her what exactly her and my father would have done to me if I had yelled at her for not doing my laundry? She said that it was a different time. I said he could stay with her if she was willing to tell him, in front of me, all the punishment I endured when I lived at home.. She said he could not stay there.

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Parenting can be a tightrope walk, and this dad’s approach is a bold step toward teaching accountability. The son’s outburst at his mother reveals a lack of appreciation for her efforts, and Dad’s plan—putting him in charge for a week—aims to bridge that gap. Dr. Laura Markham, a parenting expert, notes, “Chores teach children empathy and responsibility, preparing them for adulthood”. Here, the father’s strategy aligns with fostering life skills.

The son’s complaint about “working” over break is understandable, but his attitude reflects entitlement, possibly learned from peers or media. About 70% of parents report children resisting chores, yet regular tasks improve emotional regulation. The father’s supervision ensures safety, but framing this as a punishment rather than a learning opportunity could backfire, risking resentment.

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Markham emphasizes positive reinforcement over punitive measures. The father could guide his son through tasks, praising efforts to make it a growth experience. For readers, how do you balance discipline with teaching moments? Should Dad soften his approach or stick to the plan?

A solution might involve setting clear expectations, offering help with complex tasks like cooking, and discussing the experience afterward to highlight Mom’s daily load. This could turn a tough week into a bonding moment.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out support with a sprinkle of parenting advice. Here’s what the community had to say:

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miyuki_m − He was asking her how hard it was to make sure his clothes were cleaned. NTA, but in addition to having him learn about the household tasks your wife normally handles, you also need to find out where he learned this behavior. Is he listening to incels on the internet?

How could he possibly think yelling at his mother about his laundry was something he could or should do? I think you have a deeper issue that you need to work on with your son. I also think if your older son has been exposed to misogynistic attitudes, you should make sure your younger son doesn't pick up on it, too.

They both need to learn that women are partners, not maids, and that they need to pull their weight. ETA: As parents, both you and your wife have a responsibility to teach your boys to be good citizens and good partners.

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If they are going to have successful, healthy relationships as adults, they need to learn how to take care of a household and contribute equitably. Your sons should be completing household chores, not just during the week your wife is gone, but regularly until they move out.

Assign age-appropriate tasks and rotate them so that by the time they move out, they have learned the skills they need in order to take care of their homes.. I think your plan is a great start and I wish you luck!. Edit 2: Thanks for the awards, kind Reddit friends!

Doormatjones − Loving that last paragraph and sentence. That's telling as far as your mom goes. I bet some people here are going to scream 'parentification!!!!' but one week as a punishment for how he's acting seems more than fair.

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One could also agree with your comment about being an AH for letting it get that far but... I'm hesitant to call someone an AH when they're aware and fixing it so, NTA. Everything sound fair here, and your Mom needs to stop being a h**ocrite.

Octavia9 − NTA I think it’s a good plan. Just make sure going forward that both kids have regular chores.

Keen_Eyed_Emissary − I think you are NTA at the moment, but a lot depends on how you implement this. I think it's very nice that you are sending your Wife on vacation for a week. And I do not think that the amount or nature of the responsibilities that you are putting on your 12 year old are unreasonable - keeping two rooms clean, doing laundry,

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and making two meals for him and his younger sibling. I do think that you should consider approaching this in a more educational manner than a punitive one, and to treat it as a genuine and earnest learning experience for your son, rather than simply a punishment.

That might mean that you need to be patient and make sure he understands what the expectations are with the laundry; how it should be treated and taken care of. He may need assistance with preparing meals and using the stove, and possibly help if he's making something with a higher level of complexity than oatmeal.

My only concern is that there might be a tendency to say 'too bad, figure it out' if he has a genuine issue with something. As long as you're willing to be patient and provide genuine instruction, I don't think there's an issue, and it could be real learning experience for him and his sibling.

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Kirin2013 − She tried to tell me I was being cruel to her poor baby. And he will continue to be a child past adulthood if he doesn't start to learn how to fend for himself. Parents: You are supposed to be teaching your kids how to fend for themselves when they leave the nest. Doing everything for them and then allowing them to yell at you is highly counter productive.. NTA.

AuntJ2583 − I said he could stay with her if she was willing to tell him, in front of me, all the punishment I endured when I lived at home.. She said he could not stay there.. Brutal in the best possible way. Once mom comes back, both kids should have normal daily and weekly chores. Dishes, cleaning their bathroom, maybe doing their own laundry, ...

IamIrene − NTA. This is brilliant! He's going to learn a lot and be much better for it. This is what good parenting looks like.. Nothing like walking a week in mom's shoes to gain some much needed empathy!

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1568314 − NTA great job handling grandma

MetusObscuritatis − NTA, some of these comments are wild. The father is going to be fully supervising. He's working from home, remember? He's obviously going to make sure everything is okay. It's a realistic and fair 'punishment.' Besides, the kids are going to be learning to be self -sufficient. And now older brother has a sense of what his mom does for the family.

101037633 − NTA. As long as you supervise him in the kitchen, and are around if things go wrong, it may be enlightening for your 12 year old. Breakfast and lunch are easy. Cereal and sandwiches. Keeping the kitchen and living room clean.

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Easy to do. Laundry, is easy too. I was doing all of these when I was 12. And actually cooking full meals at 12. I do like how you called your mom out for her ‘parenting,’ too. I hate that excuse. It was a different time, so I could hit you for punishment whenever I felt like it.

These opinions are fiery, but do they capture the full picture of balancing discipline and empathy, or are they just cheering on Dad’s bold move?

This spring break saga shows how parenting can spark both growth and grumbling. Dad’s plan to teach his son respect through responsibility is a gamble that could build character or stir rebellion. Raising kids isn’t easy—how do you teach tough lessons without crossing the line? Share your thoughts: would you put a 12-year-old in charge for a week, or is there a better way to drive the point home?

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