AITA for making a woman who has very little money repay me $3,800?

A screeching crash shattered a man’s pride in his new truck when a woman barreled into his workplace parking lot, spinning his vehicle 90 degrees. With no insurance to cover her tracks, she left him grappling with $3,800 in out-of-pocket costs, a bitter pill for a $225,000-earning couple who could absorb the hit.

Now, as the woman, a waitress scraping by on $400 a week, repays him $100 biweekly, guilt tugs at his conscience. Her $200 net worth makes each payment a sacrifice, sparking a moral tug-of-war—does justice trump compassion in this financial fiasco?

‘AITA for making a woman who has very little money repay me $3,800?’

About 6 months ago a woman drove off a very busy road, up into the parking lot at my work, and hit my truck. She must have been going at least 40mph and hit directly on the wheel of my truck because it turned my truck 90 degrees with very little visible body damage. To top it off, she had no insurance.

After all was said and done, she caused about $18,000 in damage for which I had to pay out of pocket about $3,800 (deductible, rental car, repair costs my a-hole insurance company refused to pay). Additionally, since she didn't have insurance, I can't recover the diminished value of my truck which I think is at least $5,000 that I will never get back.

Obviously this amount will go down as my truck ages but I'm pretty much stuck with this vehicle for a while now or I have to eat that cost. I had just gotten this new truck about 4 months prior then had to deal with this nearly every day for the 7 weeks it took to get repaired. It was a nightmare and very stressful dealing with this.

I ended up suing her in small claims court and won by default because she did not show up. I feel like she wasn't planning on repaying me until she was trying to get her license reinstated and fortunately the state is requiring her to have a repayment plan with me before she can get her license back.

She has agreed to repay me $100 every other week until paid in full. So far, I have received 1 such payment with the next due today. Now the part where I sort of feel like an a**hole is that my wife and I make about $225,000 per year combined and after this lady sent me her statement of assets through the court, she has about $200 to her name and makes $400 per week as a waitress.

I paid the $3,800 and sort of moved on financially. It is a lot of money, but we can afford it. She very obviously owes me the money, but the $100 every other week very clearly would mean a lot more to her financially than me. What say you?

Car accidents ignite more than just metal—they spark ethical dilemmas. The Reddit user’s $3,800 loss stings, but the waitress’s meager finances cast a shadow over his legal victory. Her uninsured driving broke the law, yet her $100 biweekly payments cut deep into her $400 weekly earnings, highlighting a clash between accountability and empathy.

Uninsured driving isn’t rare. A 2023 Insurance Research Council report notes 13% of U.S. drivers lack insurance, often due to financial strain (source). The waitress’s $200 net worth suggests she’s among those caught in a cycle of poverty, where even small debts loom large.

Dr. Karen Ruskin, a relationship expert, says, “Fairness doesn’t always mean equal outcomes—sometimes compassion reshapes justice” (source). Her perspective urges the man to weigh his financial security against her struggle. Forgiving part of the debt could ease her burden without erasing her responsibility.

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A practical step? Renegotiate for smaller payments, like $50 biweekly, to balance fairness and kindness. He could also explore a lump-sum settlement if she secures tips or aid.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s takes are as fiery as the crash itself—here’s what the community weighed in with:

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Ganegrei - NTA. Driving without insurance is unacceptable for anyone. What would have happened if you had been in the truck and were left permanently disabled. Who would have paid for your care?

Carrie56 - NTA - she caused an accident through her bad driving, AND was driving with no insurance. She’s is the person responsible for damaging your truck, and is the one responsible for the sum your insurance didn’t cover. Hard up though she will no doubt be - she broke the law and she should pay for the damage she caused..... it will also teach her that she should improve her driving and sure her car.

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nanimal77 - NTA but it might make sense in the long run to forgive the debt. You absolutely aren’t the a**hole if you keep accepting the money, but you could make a real difference in her life if you let it go. Sounds like her life is probably challenging. Really, it’s up to you.

[Reddit User] - NTA. but if you're concerned (and you are... You sound like a decent person) maybe work out something with her that wouldn't be as crippling to her.

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TheRoseByAnotherName - Legally and morally she has to pay for what she broke, but you as the victim can be as lenient or as hardass as you want. If you're concerned about her situation maybe reach out and renegotiate to lower payments, but it sounds like she agreed so maybe she makes better tips as a waitress than she wanted to tell the court.. NTA because you're being reasonable.

latetothegame216 - Clearly this woman is TA for hitting your car... I don’t want you to feel like TA for asking what’s fair... she doesn’t deserve to get off scott free.... But is chasing her down to make a $100 payment for a year and a half worth the headache? You can advocate for principle or you can advocate for the value of your own time. It sounds like a lose/lose so it’s your call... no real wrong answers here.

soccerplayer413 - NAH. But, I would applaud and respect you as a person for doing good for someone else, and forgiving the debt out of kindness and awareness of her situation. Not that you’re obligated to in any way! Seeing that you’ve already moved on financially though, it would clearly mean a whole lot more to her than it does to you. Emotional arbitrage...the best of investments.. Godspeed.

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Sinfulcinderella - NTA you did nothing wrong and she's TA for not having flipping insurance!

khart100 - Thank you everyone for your responses. Truly appreciate it. I’ll take your suggestions and comments into consideration on what to do here. Also, I want to take this opportunity to tell you to not use Travelers insurance (at least in the mid-west). They suck and were complete dicks to deal with. I’m sure most insurance companies are but if I can keep 1 person from giving them money I will consider it a success.

mnemonikos82 - The question wasn't, is she an a**hole for driving without insurance. The question was, is he TA for making a woman pay money she can ill afford, that they don't need, but she unavoidably owes. Being an A**hole isn't about legal, it's about ethical and moral. So yes, YTA for taking what you don't need from someone that can't afford it.

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OP has a choice, be kind, empathetic, and forgiving OR be legalistic and individualistic. That being said, if she was an A**hole about it, drunk, or other mitigating circumstances, you could at least make the ESH argument that the $$$ is a biweekly reminder that her choices have consequences. But we don't have any of that INFO.

From hardline justice to calls for mercy, these voices stir the pot. But do they miss the deeper ethical layers?

This tale of a wrecked truck and a strained wallet exposes the messy line between justice and generosity. The man’s right to repayment is clear, but the waitress’s hardship begs for leniency. His choice could ripple through her life, making this a moment for reflection. What would you do—hold firm or offer a lifeline? Drop your thoughts below and share how you’d navigate this moral maze!

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