AITA for lying on how I lost weight to my cousin?

Picture a cozy family reunion, the kind where warm hugs and catching up fill the air, until a casual compliment about weight loss spirals into an unexpected drama. A young woman, fresh from a tough year, visits her aunt and 12-year-old cousin, who’s bursting with admiration for her. When her noticeable slim-down gets attention, she’s caught off guard, juggling her painful truth with her cousin’s curious eyes. The weight loss wasn’t a victory—it came from heartbreak and empty pockets.

Navigating this delicate moment, she chooses a gentle lie to shield her young cousin from harmful ideas, only to face her aunt’s surprising backlash. It’s a tale of good intentions clashing with family expectations, leaving us wondering: how do you balance honesty with protecting a child’s perspective? This Reddit story dives into body image, family dynamics, and the weight of well-meaning words, pulling readers into a relatable, emotional whirlwind.

‘AITA for lying on how I lost weight to my cousin?’

I have a 12 year old cousin who idolizes me. I haven’t seen her in months since covid started but we are able to start expanding our pod in my city. I visited her and my auntie today. My auntie said that I look great because of my weight loss. I lost weight because I lost my job and my ex boyfriend left me.

So I was depressed which caused my appetite to be gone and I didn’t have money to buy food. I didn’t eat very much. I lost about 15 lbs. I didn’t need to lose the weight and I wouldn’t mind gaining 10 back. I’m just getting back on my feet now so don’t worry about me. I just thanked her when she complimented me.

My cousin asked me how I lost weight because she gained quite a few lbs during quarantine. I told her that I just exercised and ate a bunch of fruit and vegetables. I didn’t want to tell her that I starved myself because what if she does the same? My aunt kept saying stuff about my body and I got fed up.

I told her in private that I lost weight unintentionally through being broke and being depressed from a break up so I don’t want to be reminded about that. She apologized but is now mad at me for giving her daughter bad advice and giving her unrealistic expectations? Wtf? I find this ridiculous because vegetables and exercise are good habits. It’s not like I told her to take up smoking. I know I lied but AITA?

This family’s weight loss saga is a classic case of good intentions hitting a nerve. The redditor faced a tough choice: share a raw truth or protect a young mind. By choosing the latter, they prioritized their cousin’s well-being, but the aunt’s reaction stirred the pot. Let’s unpack this with a broader lens on body image and family dynamics.

The redditor’s decision to hide their unintentional weight loss—caused by depression and financial strain—was wise. For a 12-year-old, hearing about starvation could plant dangerous seeds. Eating disorders among teens are a real concern, with NEDA reporting that 1 in 10 young women may develop disordered eating by their early 20s. Promoting exercise and healthy eating was a safe, responsible pivot, even if it wasn’t the full story.

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Dr. Rachel Rodgers, a body image expert, notes, “Young people are highly impressionable, and role models shape their views on health and appearance” . Here, the redditor modeled positive habits, avoiding glorification of unhealthy weight loss. The aunt’s frustration, though, hints at her own sensitivity to body image, perhaps projecting onto her daughter’s weight concerns. Her accusation of “unrealistic expectations” feels off-base—exercise and veggies are standard health advice, not a fantasy.

The broader issue is how families discuss weight. Constant comments, even compliments, can pressure kids into unhealthy fixations. The redditor did well to shut down body talk privately, but the aunt’s mixed signals—apologizing, then blaming—suggest deeper communication gaps. To move forward, they could gently reinforce healthy habits with the cousin, perhaps suggesting fun activities like bike rides, while avoiding weight-focused chatter. Open dialogue with the aunt about setting a positive example could also ease tensions.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade for this family drama. Here’s what they had to say, raw and unfiltered:

Irish-Clover − Nta. A 12 year old shouldn’t focus too much on loosing weight cuz they’re still growing. Telling them to that starving works can result in eating disorders. Plus, healthy eating and exercise can also lead to weight loss, so it’s not entirely false.

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RealRageTemperGaming − NO you are NTA for so many reasons...Firstly,I hope you are doing good.Secondly, How the frick did your aunt think saying that was bad advice..Doing exercise and eating healthy is the 'main' way to reduce your [weight] normally.. You did well.

I_Like_Stuff_too − NTA. How is eating healthy and exercising bad advice?

[Reddit User] − NTA lmao why is your aunt so bitter about exercising and eating right

[Reddit User] − NTA, this was a white lie to protect someone and your aunt should have realized that.

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gothmilq − NTA you prevented your cousin from thinking EDs are ok. Your aunt should thank you for that 😒

sqitten − NTA It may have created unrealistic expectations, but people shouldn't be bringing up other people's weight changes unless the person brings it up first. And you were pushed into an uncomfortable situation that you should not have been in.

GravyChops − NTA. By your Aunt's response to you, I'm not surprised that her 12 yr old daughter is obsessing over weight.. You gave the best, most responsible answer.. It's incomprehensible that a parent would chastise you for that advise.

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Try to stay in touch with your cousin, if you can. Sounds like she needs a decent adult in her life.. Sorry to hear all that happened to you. Thankfully things are getting better for you.. Edit. I see OP did mention exercise.

[Reddit User] − NTA, you are protecting your cousin from a bad reality and the risk of taking a dangerous behaviour (no offense intended), and gave and adecuate answer. She is 12, the only way she should be trying to lose weight it is with excercise (not even a diet), so nothing unrealistic here.

A________USERNAME − NTA no matter how I think of it you're not the a**hole. you were being a good role model and teaching her healthy habits.

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These Redditors rallied behind the OP, cheering their protective instincts while side-eyeing the aunt’s overreaction. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just adding fuel to the family fire?

This tale reminds us how tricky family dynamics can be when body image enters the chat. The redditor’s white lie was a shield for their cousin, but it sparked a clash of perspectives with the aunt. It’s a relatable mess—trying to do right by a kid while dodging family judgment. Striking that balance is tough, but it’s clear the OP’s heart was in the right place. What would you do if you were caught between honesty and protecting a young loved one? Share your thoughts below!

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