AITA for locking myself in my room every time my aunt and cousin come over and making mom lie to them that I’m not there?

In a quiet suburban home, the sound of a doorbell signals chaos for a young woman buried in her studies. Her aunt’s unannounced visits, leaving 10-year-old Andy behind, turn her sanctuary into an unpaid daycare. Despite her protests, her aunt brushes off her need for focus, leaving the young woman feeling trapped. She loves Andy like a brother, but his boundless energy clashes with her deadlines.

Desperate for peace, she devises a plan: lock herself in her room and have her mom claim she’s out. It’s a clever workaround until the truth erupts, sparking a fiery confrontation. The Reddit tale dives into family expectations, blurred boundaries, and the weight of unspoken responsibilities. Was her hideout a genius move or a step too far? The online community’s buzzing with takes, pulling readers into this relatable family drama.

‘AITA for locking myself in my room every time my aunt and cousin come over and making mom lie to them that I’m not there?’

My aunt and cousin (10M Andy) live close by and are frequent visitors to our home. Andy and I are close since he was just a toddler, he would spend lots of time in our house so it's not an exaggeration to call him my brother. The problem is that my aunt has zero awareness about what it takes to watch Andy despite how much I love him.. ​

She would drop by and leave him in our house even if I tell her I'm studying and can't watch him. She would tell me it's better to have someone with him in the house than no company at all and that I don't need to watch over him as he can fix himself a sandwich or order something himself and he has her phone on him so he can just watch something.

She always just takes her purse and abandon him there regardless of how I object.. ​ If Andy really sticks to the phone and doesn't disturb me that would be fine but he doesn't and he shouldn't. He's so young. He can't stay glued to a screen for 8 consecutive hours and I don't blame him one bit for that.. ​

I complained to my mom multiple times about this and she would shut me down too. So I came up with the idea that whenever my aunt came over, I would shut myself in my room and tell mom to tell them I'm not in the house. That way mom doesn't have to get into a conflict with her sister and I don't get inconvenienced, win win.

My mom resisted at first but was on board later.. ​ This time though, when my aunt came over I could hear yelling as though an argument was going and then my aunt came knocking on my door while shouting that she knows I'm in there followed by my mom also telling me to just get out and that I caused her enough trouble.. ​

I walk out and there's a storm of berating first from my mom and second from my aunt. I know my mom was berating me like that to appease my aunt but it still hurt and I also lashed out at her that she was sacrificing her own daughter for her sister.

When mom saw me like that she apologized to my aunt and told her she'll deal with this and walked her to the door and then went back and asked me what I expected by avoiding her for several weeks like this

and that she would start asking questions eventually.. ​ I was upset and refused to answer her anymore and been cooped up in my room since then. No mood to attend classes either. AITA for acting like this?

ADVERTISEMENT

This babysitting saga exposes a tangle of family dynamics and boundary violations. The aunt’s habit of dropping off Andy without consent treats the young woman as an on-call nanny, disregarding her academic priorities. Dr. Harriet Lerner, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships; without them, resentment festers” (The Dance of Connection). The aunt’s dismissal of the young woman’s objections signals a lack of respect, while the mother’s compliance enables the pattern.

The mother’s failure to confront her sister places her daughter in an unfair position. A 2022 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that 45% of young adults report stress from family expectations around unpaid caregiving (Journal of Family Psychology). The young woman’s lock-in strategy, while deceptive, was a desperate bid for autonomy in a home where her needs were sidelined.

ADVERTISEMENT

This situation reflects a broader issue: the expectation that young family members absorb caregiving duties without consent. Andy’s needs are valid, but so are the young woman’s. Dr. Lerner suggests “clear, calm communication” to set limits, advising the young woman to firmly state her availability and study needs. If the aunt persists, studying outside the home, as Redditors suggested, could protect her time. Readers are encouraged to share how they’ve navigated family obligations while balancing personal goals.

The young woman should discuss boundaries with her mother, emphasizing mutual respect. If the mother continues to prioritize her sister, seeking support from a counselor or trusted adult could help. Open dialogue, not avoidance, is the path forward, ensuring Andy’s care doesn’t fall solely on her shoulders. This story invites reflection on balancing family love with personal limits.

ADVERTISEMENT

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit squad rolled in with a mix of sass and solidarity, roasting the aunt’s entitlement and the mom’s spinelessness. Their hot takes paint a vivid picture of support for the young woman’s stand. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

blue-nicorn − NTA if she wants you to babysit she can pay for it

ADVERTISEMENT

Puddin370 − NTA. If no one is willing to stop their behavior all you can do is change yours. Start studying at the library. When your aunt shows up, grab your books and leave the house. It doesn't matter if he is your brother. Even if he was your true brother and lived in the same house, you shouldn't be forced to babysit him, especially when you need to study.

Wishiwashome − NTA First off, it IS babysitting. Second, I REALLY hate when crap hits the fan, people have no backbone. Your mom sold your feelings out to appease her sister. It doesn’t matter if you like him like a brother, it matters you can do school work and not have to watch a 10yo while they hang out.

[Reddit User] − time to start studying at the library. and leave the house before auntie gets there. nta.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your mother and Aunt certainly sound like assholes though.

Writesaurus − Your aunt is a lazy parent and your mom is a pushover. But I'm very happy to read that you don't resent Andy for his mom's behaviour, which is very mature!

Though, lying shouldn't be easily done, I can see why you took that route. You're not a free babysitter and with your mom letting herself be pushed around by her sister, there weren't many options.. NTA.

ADVERTISEMENT

Peg-Lemac − Info: just to be sure, you’ve never promised babysitting services, your mom never took money or was paid for you to babysit, correct? She literally just drops her kid off without asking you or your mom and expects you to watch him?

RevolutionaryCow7961 − NTA. And of course it’s babysitting and what is wrong with your mother that she doesn’t tell her sister to take a hike. She would rather have her sister take advantage

of you like an unpaid servant then stand up to her sister. You have school work, ask mom if she would rather you put aside your studies to tend a child who is your COUSIN. He’s not your brother, I’m sorry it may feel that way but he isn’t.

ADVERTISEMENT

hmg07 − NTA. Your aunt is a huge AH for expecting you to be her on call, unpaid babysitter and your mom is a HUGE AH for not standing up for you. She needs to grow a spine.

TheLuvBub − NTA. You were in a toxic situation and being gaslit. Your instincts are telling you to run and hide. Then you’re getting yelled at for having instincts. If your aunt wants somebody to watch your cousin, and she needs to arrange it in advance, and let you know what the hours will be. This is perfectly reasonable what she’s doing sounds perfectly unreasonable.

These Redditors didn’t mince words, cheering her boundary-setting while slamming the adults’ irresponsibility. Some suggested fleeing to the library, others called out the aunt’s laziness. But do their fiery opinions capture the full story, or are they just stoking the drama? One thing’s clear: this family clash has sparked a lively debate about duty and boundaries.

ADVERTISEMENT

This tale of locked doors and family feuds shows how quickly unspoken expectations can spiral. The young woman’s hideout was a bold move to reclaim her time, but the fallout reveals deeper issues of respect and responsibility. Family love shouldn’t mean sacrificing personal goals, yet navigating those lines is tricky. How would you handle an aunt who treats you like a free babysitter? Share your stories and thoughts below—let’s unpack this family drama together!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *