AITA For Locking It Down? Jewelry Drama Ends

Shirley Stafford Hours
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The saga of the inherited jewelry took an interesting turn in a recent update from our protagonist, Sarah. In the original post, Sarah recounted how her ex-husband’s girlfriend, Lily, had been persistently asking to borrow a valuable set of ruby and diamond jewelry that belonged to Sarah’s late mother-in-law and was intended for Sarah and her ex-husband Joe’s daughter, Sara.

Lily’s entitlement and attempts to claim the jewelry as future marital assets sparked considerable concern among the Reddit community. Now, Sarah has shared how she addressed the situation and the surprising outcome that followed. Concerned about Lily’s behavior and determined to protect her daughter’s inheritance, Sarah decided to have a direct conversation with Joe, her ex-husband.

Instead of just recounting Lily’s requests, Sarah wisely chose to show Joe the actual text messages she had received. This approach eliminated any possibility of misinterpretation or accusations of exaggeration. Joe’s reaction upon seeing the messages was immediate and strong. He was reportedly shocked and angered by Lily’s actions and her attempts to lay claim to jewelry that rightfully belonged to his daughter.

For those who want to read the previous part: AITA for not letting my ex-husbands new girlfriend have a piece of his mother’s jewelry?

‘Update: AITA for not letting my ex husbands new girlfriend have a piece of his mother’s jewelry?’

Update: So many of you asked for an update so here it is really quick. I wrote this out yesterday and figured out that it was probably better to make a new post than edit the other one with it. So yeah, here’s what’s going on. Joe took an extended lunch yesterday and came by the house without Lily.

I explained to him why I was reluctant to bring everything up but I was tired of being harassed about the jewelry and that I feel strongly about it belonging to Sara, not to either of us and certainly not to Lily. He agreed immediately and was shocked to find out that she had been asking about it and then angry when I showed him the messages.

I figured the best course of action was a face to face conversation with him and being able to hand him my phone so he could see the conversation for himself and there would be no way for her to accuse me of making it up or photoshopping anything.

It sucked to see him so upset over it and I have a feeling that it’s going to get worse because from what he was saying, it sounds like Lily won’t be around much longer and regardless, she won’t be allowed back in my home and won’t be spending any time with Sara alone if he doesn’t break up with her.

I did also go first thing yesterday morning and open a safe deposit box at one of the local banks. It’s not the one I normally do business with and as of right now, my name is the only one on it and I have the only key. I was worried about the possibility of Lily having any kind of access to the jewelry with it being in the house and until all of that is resolved, I feel better knowing that there’s no way for her to get to it.

Joe and I also discussed this when he came over and he said that he agrees completely that it’s the best course of action to safeguard Sara’s inheritance. All but one of the pieces I picked out also went in and as much as I would love to have a couple of the other pieces to wear in remembrance of her on the really hard days, I would rather know it’s safe and I still have the one piece that brings me so much comfort.

All kinds of notarized documents will be on their way to me and should be here by the end of the week when I have a meeting set up with a lawyer to determine what else needs to be done to ensure that the jewelry will go to Sara without any issues or challenges.

I spoke to the Aunt that sent everything over the weekend after I posted this (and got so much good advice, thank you all!) and requested she send copies of everything pertaining to it along with documentation from her as the executor of what was sent to who, etc.

I didn’t tell her about the issues with Lily, I don’t think that’s my place and I’ll let Joe deal with telling his family or not as he sees fit. I have an appointment later today with a GIA certified appraiser so I should be able to take all of that with me to the lawyer as well as the pictures and video that I took of each piece last night.

I’m still leaning towards a trust as the best way to make sure Sara’s interests and assets are protected but we’ll see what the lawyer says and go from there. I feel terrible for Joe. He’s a great guy and even though our marriage didn’t work out, I still care about him and always will, he’s not just my child’s father but also one of my best friends and I want him to find someone to be with that loves him the way he deserves to be loved.

It’s just that whoever that is needs to understand that Sara is always going to come first and he and I will always work as a team to make sure that she’s happy, healthy, and successful in life, our relationships with each other and other people aren’t going to hinder her in any way.

Thank you to everyone that commented and offered so much good advice and support. I really do appreciate all of it more than I can tell you. I didn’t expect this to blow up the way it did and it’s really overwhelming to be honest. I probably won’t update anymore or add anything else to this so thank you again!

The update to this situation highlights the power of clear and direct communication in resolving interpersonal conflicts, especially those involving co-parenting and the well-being of children. Sarah’s decision to show Joe the text messages directly was an effective way to convey the extent of Lily’s inappropriate behavior and ensure that Joe understood the situation from her perspective. Joe’s immediate and supportive reaction underscores the strength of their co-parenting relationship and their shared commitment to their daughter, Sara.

Sarah’s proactive steps to secure Sara’s inheritance further demonstrate her dedication as a mother. Opening a safe deposit box under her sole name ensures that the jewelry is protected from any potential interference. Additionally, her decision to consult with a lawyer to establish legal safeguards, such as a trust, showcases a responsible and forward-thinking approach to securing Sara’s future. This level of planning and action provides peace of mind and ensures that the jewelry will indeed be passed down to Sara without complications.

The fact that Joe is seemingly reconsidering his relationship with Lily in light of her actions speaks volumes about his priorities and his respect for Sarah and their daughter. It indicates that he recognizes the seriousness of Lily’s behavior and its potential impact on Sara.

This situation underscores the importance of partners in blended families respecting the boundaries and existing family structures, especially when it comes to the well-being and inheritance of children. Sarah’s clear communication and Joe’s supportive response have led to a positive outcome in protecting Sara’s legacy and potentially resolving a problematic dynamic within their extended family.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit community has reacted to the update with overwhelming approval and relief. Commenters have praised Sarah for her smart handling of the situation and commended Joe for his supportive response. Many expressed satisfaction that Lily’s behavior was addressed and that Sara’s inheritance is now secure.

The overall sentiment is one of encouragement for Sarah and Sara’s well-being, with a few expressing hope that Joe makes the right decision regarding his relationship with Lily. Let’s take a look at what the Reddit crowd had to say about this positive development.

CosmicTuesday − You guys seem to make a great team for Sara. She’s going to grow up very well loved

brmc214 − Honestly, Lily’s not entitled to that jewelry, and you’re right to keep it safe. Joe’s obviously backing you up, so it sounds like you’ve handled this with both grace and smarts. Props to you

Connect_Tackle299 − My kids dad had given me some of his grandma's stuff and it's locked secured in SDB under my name only. No one but me and him know. Unfortunately he has terrible family members so that's how we have to do things now.. People suck, that's why I work with animals

[Reddit User] − You are a good person, coparent, and mom. Well done.

Contribution4afriend − Iwould also try to find pictures of his mother wearing them and write all the good memories you have from Sara's grandparents. Perhaps this will work better if you printed AND saved some files in a memory card (like a pen drive). Write about when you met his parents, when they said something nice, something about when you said you were pregnant and it was a girl, about Sara's name and the day she was born.

If you still have some of the first baby clothes her grandparents gifted, place them in a box too. Add recipes her grandma liked to bake (doesn't need to be original but a special dish she liked a lot). Ask the aunt if she kept an old tie from the grandfather. Or some blue t-shirt he liked. A memory from him too.

If it's not too much work, add a video about you talking about them to Sara. A video you and her can watch in 10 or 15 years. Add pictures. Lots of them. Write behind the photo, a memory or just a tag about it. Say all the things that made them amazing and how they will always love her and her Dad.

Add data, a smell, who was there too, who wasn't born yet, the things that were still to happen, the good things but also the bad. Tell about COVID. Tell about the end of the 90s. Tell about the moon landing (the grandparents must have said something, right?), tell about all the things you can.

Sara will not only receive the jewelry but an amount of love that is behind it. Her baby clothes, her grandfather tie/shirt, the pictures, recipes and your memories will bring a full impact that she is receiving much more than jewelry.. Updateme!

SerenityPickles − Now I’m vested and want to have Joe post about his conversation with Lily!?!? Or Lily posting about how her entitled personality made it okay to try to steal from a child!?!?. (Sorry. It’s been a boring week in my life.). Edit: name corrections

mustang19671967 − Good job , just get ready for a crap storm she will either call. You with take apology or call you blaming everything on you . Either way you have seen the real her . That’s why. I and other tell. People 2 years for marriage or moving in is too soon . Maybe add a codicil to your will so no funny business that your daughter gets every piece of jewelry or itemize everything including your personal jewelry to

MrsMurphysCow − What struck me first about all of this was Lily talking about her wedding dress and marital assets without even being engaged. They're not engaged yet, but she's already talking details about their wedding and divorce settlement. Red flags all over the place!. Is Joe by any chance color blind?

I'm so glad you told Joe about what's going on. This may end his relationship with Lily, but that would in no way be your fault. This is something Lily did to herself. Joe is one lucky man to have an ex-wife who is still a good woman and respects him, as well as for finding out the truth about Lily before he was trapped into marriage with her.

The only thing I'd like to add is that Lily is very likely to try to steal the jewelry. Unless Joe tells her otherwise, she believes the jewelry is still in your home and may pay hour home a visit sometime when you're not there. Please install a security system in your home to protect both Sara and yourself. When people become unhinged, there's no telling how far they will go to get what they want. Please, take precautions.

SnooWords4839 − Just remember, you didn't cause this, it is all on Lily.

Jsmith2127 − This isn't the last you'll hear from Lily. She going to bombard you will call, messages, or might even show up at your house to blame you for ruining her relationship. If you don't have a doorbell cam, get one asap.

These updated comments reflect a strong sense of approval for Sarah’s actions and Joe’s support. The community is clearly pleased that the situation has been handled effectively and that Sara’s inheritance is now protected. The reactions also highlight the importance of co-parents working together to safeguard their children’s interests and the negative perception of Lily’s entitled behavior.

The update to Sarah’s story provides a satisfying resolution to the conflict over the inherited jewelry. Sarah’s clear communication with Joe, coupled with his supportive and decisive reaction, has led to the protection of Sara’s inheritance and potentially the end of a problematic relationship. This situation underscores the importance of open communication, setting firm boundaries, and prioritizing the well-being of children in post-divorce co-parenting scenarios.

What are your thoughts on this update? Were you surprised by Joe’s reaction? Do you think Joe will end his relationship with Lily? What further advice would you give Sarah as she moves forward? Share your opinions and insights in the comments below

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