AITA for letting my therapist go after she threatened to call social services?

A mother of two finally worked up the courage to dig deeper into her long-standing anxiety, believing therapy would help her feel safer and more grounded for her family. What she didn’t expect was that her very first high-intensity CBT session would leave her spiraling with fear, questioning whether opening up had put her children at risk.

The situation quickly sparked heated discussion on social media, with many readers stunned by how the therapist handled the session. Between the pressure to be recorded, the sudden mention of social services, and the lingering fear of consequences, the story struck a nerve. The twist lies in how a space meant for healing instead became the source of fresh trauma, leaving people debating professionalism, ethics, and trust in therapy.

AITA for letting my therapist go after she threatened to call social services?

Everything started when the poster finally decided to seek deeper help for her anxiety

I’m (f35) married with kids. (Uk) I did post this in AITA but it was deleted. I’ve dealt with anxiety for a long time but I didn’t think I needed...

I had low level counseling with a wonderful lady who really helped and supported me to find ways to manage and cope when I spiral with my thoughts. (Just general...

It was honestly something I looked forward to every week. Since it was a free service and our sessions were coming to an end she felt I could benefit from...

This would require for me to dig deeper to the cause and get to the bottom of it. I felt ready.. Thankfully I didn’t have to wait long. My first....

and before we move forward she needs my permission to record our video call to show her teacher so she can be marked on our session. I wasn’t expecting all...

Feeling cornered, the poster reluctantly agreed despite discomfort

She told me it was my choice but that I would then need to go back on the waiting list and have someone else. I didn’t want to wait more...

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She said she would only show key clips and then they would be deleted. She showed me the consent form to share via video and after I agreed I saw...

I was upset that she hadn’t t mentioned it beforehand and thought it was a little manipulative but decided to see how we got on. she asked me. Some questions...

Member on my Husbands side I’m not fond of. There was no proof but he was a bit sleazy with me in the past and it just put me on...

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The session shifted dramatically when a deeply personal topic surfaced

She asked if I had any history of abuse and I paused. Never had I shared this with anyone before but for some reason I felt safe in that moment...

She instantly told me that if this person was still around that she would have to tell cs and my children would be taken away. I barely. Comprehended what she...

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and I expressed that this person wasn’t a part of my life. She asked who they were and I told her I wasn’t comfortable sharing that.

The session ended and I felt sick. Even though the person wasn’t in my life, now I was sick with worry she’d call cps and they’d take my kids all...

After days of anxiety, the poster made a difficult decision

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After a lot of thought I decided I didn’t feel comfortable with her anymore and certainly. Not recording our conversations. I told her I wasn’t ok for our sessions to...

She tried to persist saying there were alternatives rather than video recording but I firmly said no I wanted to go back on the waiting list. This was three days...

She reassured me she’d delete the video and put me back on the waiting list after talking to her supervisor. I’m wondering if I acted too rash in letting her...

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I’ve been an anxious mess the past few days and I don’t think I’ll ever open up about this ever again. The person who abused me wasn’t some. Random person...

Close enough that they are still part. Of the family and see my parents. I just don’t visit when they’re there. I went fully. No contact two years ago. My...

Saw them rarely and never left them alone with my kids. I guess this is why I’m so anxious is cs asks about this individual. I hate them but I...

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I only have one memory of one instance and it’s almost dream like so I still doubt myself sometimes. I just knew when I had my kids that I wasn’t...

I’m just ashamed that ot. Took me longer than it should have to go. Nc. (Sorry about the error I meant cs . Been on Reddit way too long lol)

Situations like this highlight how vulnerable people can feel when entering therapy, especially during early sessions. The poster sought help for anxiety, not expecting to confront unresolved trauma under pressure. From her perspective, the therapist’s abrupt warning about social services felt less like safeguarding and more like a threat, amplifying fear rather than offering clarity or reassurance.

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It’s important to acknowledge the other side. Therapists, including trainees, often have safeguarding obligations. However, context matters. A disclosure of past abuse, particularly when the alleged abuser is not part of the children’s lives, does not automatically mean children are at risk. Jumping straight to worst-case scenarios can overwhelm someone already prone to anxiety.

Dr. John Gottman of The Gottman Institute has noted, “Trust is built in very small moments, and it’s destroyed just as quickly when someone feels unsafe or unheard.” In therapy, trust is foundational. Without it, meaningful progress becomes almost impossible.

For anyone in a similar position, practical steps include asking clear questions about confidentiality, recording policies, and safeguarding duties before sessions begin. If a therapist’s approach feels distressing or coercive, requesting a supervisor review or changing providers is reasonable. Therapy should feel challenging at times, absolutely, but never frightening or punitive.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Many users immediately sided with the poster, criticizing the therapist’s conduct

Peanutsandcheese2021 − Therapists are mandatory reporters for possible child abuse but you aren’t the abuser and there is no evidence of abuse

nd her saying you children will be taken from you is out of line . Please report her to her supervisor ! This is not on

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bathroomstallghost − NTA she was wildly inappropriate, and this should definitely be reported to her supervisor. good luck

ScarletDarkstar − It sounds like this is a student that needs more time before taking on a case like yours. If they needed to report on someone predatory being around...

Knowing anxiety is an issue for you, it would seem like that should be taken into account before inflammatory statements were made without further explanation.

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space_fox_overlord − She seems really unprofessional, I would definitely report her. As a minimum you should have been given a copy of the consent form, which should explain what will...

for how long, who will have access to it& for how long, what data will be stored about you (eg your name, your address etc), whether it will be anonymised.

She should also have provided info on who to contact if you have questions about any of this, or if you'd like to complain.

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And obviously she shouldn't have strong-armed you into agreeing, if it's under duress, and also she didn't really explain anything to you, then your consent isn't really valid.

If it's not too stressful for you please follow up and make a formal complaint about this. And I hope you find a good therapist that can help soon, this...

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Mermalade13 − NTA, you should feel safe when in therapy and unless you’re abusing your kids or putting them in danger then she shouldn’t have said what she did.

Report her so that it doesn’t happen to someone else. Stay strong, searching for help and support is important.

Others offered more balanced takes, explaining safeguarding rules while still criticizing delivery

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313378008135 − In the event a referral is made a social worker will ask and you can clearly and honestly state that you have no contact with your abuser and...

Your therapist does have a duty of care to report a safeguarding concern even without your consent. But only if you disclose a risk to children.

I dont see what grounds your therapist has to make a referral when you have been very clear your abuser is not in the lives of you or your children.

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They could be at risk of data protection breaches by disclosing private data. Even if social do turn up they will just ask questions to make sure the kids are...

[Reddit User] − She instantly told me that if this person was still around that she would have to tell cps and my children would be taken away. I don't...

CPS would act on it *if* you knew he was hurting *the kids* and let that keep happening. "This guy has a history of being kinda creepy towards their mom"...

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Good call on leaving and no longer being comfortable with being recorded. I wouldn't have been either. r/therapyabuse would have a lot to say about this. The more I read,...

Snoo-32071 − Report her. She traumatized you instead of helping. A supervisor should definately know that she threatened you.

HarveySnake − NTA I feel like you would be very justified in filing a complaint against her for essentially blackmailing you into signing the video release form.

I also feel like she should have approached everything differently before jumping on the CPS-bandwagon so quickly. In the USA (and this may be different where you live),

therapists are mandatory reporters: if you tell them something that makes them believe your children are at risk they are required by law to report it.

I know you say "I don't want this person to go to jail" but I think your opinion should be "I want him to go to jail to make sure...

Craptiel − This is emotional blackmail to get what she wanted out of a session when your needs and privacy should come first. Im not a psychologist

but I have studied psychology and during the ethics module we were taught that this type of conduct is highly unethical, you can report her for this to the British...

gabbage1 − Please report back with an update! I’m a therapist and would like to see how reporting it to his supervisor is handled

A few comments used blunt or lighter tones to underline frustration

Independent_Spare578 − NTA. Did she tell you who was her instructor? I would make a complaint directly. The NHS is notorious for doing nothing, but complain anyway.

Put it in writing, and file it with the school and the office she's training under. She told you she's going to take your children because you're a victim.

She is a terrible person, and a terrible excuse for a therapist. Then pressuring you to let her keep going, after pressuring you to allow her to record you.

This is not someone who belongs in any form of medical field. I doubt she can be re-educated to remove the desire to take children because their parent was a...

She actively abused you for being a victim, and daring to admit it. She is toxic to anyone getting help. Rather than support the victim, she chose to victimize you...

That is NOT health care, nor is it a good person. NTA but she deserves to be outed for what she's done and said. She shouldn't get to hide behind...

GhostofTotalStranger − I don’t think she knows what she’s talking about

hintofoldshoeleather − I would like to tell you that what that therapist put you through is not right. First, when you hesitated to accept the sessions being videotaped, she should...

and not manipulated you into accepting something you weren’t comfortable with. And asking an extremely loaded direct question that could cause extreme emotional distress on the first session is just...

I’m so glad you had a positive experience with the prior therapist. This latest one is horrible. I’m sure your trust has been shattered

and having to address a topic you weren’t really ready to in such an unsafe environment must have caused you a lot of pain. And then you are left with...

Glittering_Piano_633 − I’m in regular therapy for sensitive issues, and this is horrific. She retraumatised you, absolutely did not “have to” record the session and then tried to cover her...

This story left many readers unsettled, not because of what the mother shared, but because of how her vulnerability was handled. While safeguarding children is crucial, so is protecting patients from unnecessary fear and distress. The overwhelming response suggests most people believe the therapist crossed a line, especially during a first session built on fragile trust. It raises a bigger question about training, consent, and accountability in mental health care. What would you do if opening up for help left you feeling more afraid than before?

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