AITA for letting my son dye his hair the colour of bi pride and talk back to his aunt?
In a sunny backyard, the sizzle of a family BBQ is overshadowed by a clash of values. A 47-year-old dad watches proudly as his 16-year-old son sports vibrant blue, purple, and pink hair, a bold show of solidarity for a bullied bisexual classmate. But when his conservative sister spots the bi pride colors, her outrage erupts, threatening to unravel the family gathering.
Her homophobic tirade pushes the teen to snap back, referencing her ex-husband’s new life with a man. As she storms out in tears, the dad stands by his son, but family tensions linger. Was he wrong to let this slide? This Reddit tale dives into loyalty, identity, and family friction.
‘AITA for letting my son dye his hair the colour of bi pride and talk back to his aunt?’
The father’s support for his son’s vibrant hair choice reflects a commitment to allyship, but his sister’s reaction reveals deep-seated bias. Psychologist Dr. Gregory Herek, an expert on prejudice, notes, “Homophobic attitudes often stem from discomfort with nonconformity, projecting personal fears onto others” . The sister’s demand to cover the teen’s hair and her claim it could “turn” children gay expose her prejudice, escalating the conflict.
This situation highlights a broader issue: family resistance to expressions of identity. A 2023 Pew Research study found 67% of teens feel safer expressing their identity with parental support . The father’s choice to back his son fosters that safety, countering his sister’s harmful rhetoric.
Dr. Herek emphasizes education to combat bias. The sister needs therapy to process her divorce and prejudices, not coddling. The father could encourage his son to apologize if the aunt does first, promoting mutual respect.
For solutions, the father might set clear boundaries with his sister, reinforcing that his home is a safe space. Support groups like PFLAG (source) could help the family navigate these tensions, fostering dialogue over division.
See what others had to share with OP:
Reddit lit up with support for the dad and son, tearing into the aunt’s homophobia with humor and heat. From praising the teen’s clapback to urging the dad to stay firm, the comments didn’t hold back. Here’s what they said:
![[Reddit User] - You should really be proud of ur son, he was raised right, and proudly defends his stance, he's a great kid, although his comment was a bit mean,and might've hurt her feelings,she was harassing him,and he has every right to defend himself. NTA](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/267055c-11.png)
![[Reddit User] - NTA. Your sister was acting h**ophobic and attacked your son. Your son stood up for himself and told her off. While it wasn't a kind thing to say to her, after being h**ophobic your son didn't owe her any kindness. As for you, not punishing your son for defending himself isn't not being there for her. She's trying to make you pick her side out of pity, you can be there for her while still not supporting her h**ophobic remarks and the comments against your son.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/267055c-12.png)
These Reddit zingers back the son’s stand, but do they miss the nuance of family healing?
This story of a teen’s bold hair and a dad’s unwavering support shows how allyship can clash with family bias. The aunt’s outburst was out of line, but the son’s retort cut deep. Both could apologize, but the dad’s stance feels right. How would you handle a relative’s prejudice in your own home? Drop your thoughts below!
