AITA for letting my SILs kids return home hungry?

In a cozy suburban kitchen, the aroma of homemade lasagna filled the air, a labor of love for two young boys under their aunt’s care. She stepped up to help her struggling sister-in-law, expecting gratitude, but instead found herself in a firestorm over fussy eaters. The boys, armed with stubborn taste buds, snubbed her meals for dreams of Taco Bell, leaving her caught between family duty and a chorus of critics.

This tale of culinary clashes tugs at anyone who’s juggled family favors and ungrateful palates. Readers feel her exasperation, wondering how good intentions morphed into accusations of “starving” kids. It’s a story that stirs up questions about parenting, boundaries, and the battle over broccoli. Can a plate of stir-fry really spark such family chaos? Let’s dig into this savory saga.

‘AITA for letting my SILs kids return home hungry?’

SIL and her husband both lost their jobs when Covid first started. It was almost four months before both returned to full employment. They had a nanny who came in and took care of the kids while they worked and she worked with them so they could pay less since they took a wage decrease with the new jobs.

Then in February of this year she told them she could no longer provide the care she did for the same price and they parted ways last month. SIL if I would be willing to take the kids (10m and 8m) after school Monday to Friday and they would pay me the same as they paid the nanny. I said sure. She was thankful. I started right away.Fast forward to now and s**t has hit the fan.

Within a week I had told my SIL I was no longer on board for having the boys after school. She asked me to keep going until they found someone new, that she just needed a month. I said okay. But now I'm in the firing line. The boys will not eat the food I cook. They demand snack foods and pizza or Taco Bell every single day I have them here. They won't touch fruit or veggies.

They won't even try the dinners (lasagna, stir fry, home made tacos and burritors, curries, etc) it's all no. They want what they want and refuse to eat. And I refuse to spend more money ordering food for them. I tried making homemade pizza but because it wasn't their favorite frozen brand or takeout they wouldn't touch it and now SIL and her husband are pissed I wouldn't feed the kids.

My husbands was pissed SIL expected miracles and he told her there was food here for them that they chose not to eat. Their parents thinks it's horrible I wouldn't give in so the kids would eat something. MIL told me I starved the kids. I'm now starting to feel a bit guilty but only because my husbands parents also think I'm in the wrong.. AITA?

Family favors can turn into a recipe for resentment when expectations clash like oil and water. This aunt’s effort to feed her nephews nutritious meals was met with defiance, as the boys demanded takeout over her home-cooked dishes. She stood firm, unwilling to fund their fast-food whims, but her SIL and in-laws saw it as neglect. It’s a standoff between practicality and indulgence, with both sides digging in.

Picky eating is a common battleground. A 2023 study from the American Academy of Pediatrics notes that 50% of kids exhibit selective eating, often reinforced by parental leniency (source). Child psychologist Dr. Laura Markham says, “Consistently offering healthy options without caving to demands helps kids expand their palates” (source). Here, the aunt followed this logic, but the parents’ enabling habits undermined her.

Dr. Markham’s advice points to clear communication. The aunt could’ve discussed food preferences with SIL upfront, perhaps agreeing on a budget for kid-approved snacks. SIL should provide preferred foods if she expects specific meals. For others in similar spots, setting firm boundaries early—like limiting takeout—can prevent drama.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit served up some sizzling takes on this family feud, with a dash of spice! Here’s what the community dished out about those picky eaters:

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JustNoThrowsAway - NTA If they were hungry, they would have eaten the provided food.

alleyalleyjude - NTA are they JOKING? Money is tight in that family why the hell are they letting the kids set the standard that they deserve takeout every day? I realize sometimes people with autism have very specific food they can eat but to my understanding this seems like them being spoiled as hell. If they don’t want the food you make then their parents can be the ones to waste money on Taco Bell every night.

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Moon-Queen95 - NTA Do not listen to your MIL for a second, if she wants to take care of the kids and cater to their every whim, she can go for it. You did not starve them, you simply expected them to eat what was provided. You told your SIL you couldn't do it anymore, and she asked you to continue. I'm glad your husband is on your side. Don't feel bad.

GrumpyOldFart74 - NTA. If SIL wants her kids living off Taco Bell every day, she should be paying for it on top. I still wouldn’t blame you if you refused but at least if she offered that she wouldn’t be the a**hole either (at least in terms of her attitude to you - but in terms of her parenting choices she still would in my personal opinion)

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Ok_Image6174 - NTA, a couple of summers ago I was babysitting my niece and she is also picky and used to eating lots of snacks and junk, but if she didn't eat what we cooked, well...she didn't eat! My SIL understood and agreed with us, so there was no issue, but if your SIL wants you to feed them, she needs to provide the food.

femina_lux - NTA. Kids have been spoiled rotten by their parents. And one of the reasons they are in financial trouble I bet is because they eat out a lot instead of saving money and cooking at home. Tell your MIL if she can do better with home cooked meals, to go right ahead, or stop whining.

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Either they eat what you cook, or they starve, their choice. Stand your ground, you are in the right here. You are under no obligation to look after those children at all.. If they give you any trouble about it remind them 'Not my Circus, not my monkeys.'

Nay_nay267 - NTA. You had food. The kids are spoiled

v2den - NTA. Your SIL and her husband are awful parents for enabling their children and feeding them junk food. Kids won't starve because obviously their parents feed them the junk they want when they get home.

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Radiant_Cat618 - NTA - your SIL had to know that her children were picky eaters and should told you upfront and provided food that they would eat. It sounds to me like she’s tried of fighting with them about food and wanted you to deal with it.

krankykitty - NTA.. You are feeding the kids.. The kids aren’t eating.. There’s a difference.

These Reddit roasts are bold, but do they capture the full flavor? Some slam the parents’ indulgence; others back the aunt’s stand.

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This story’s a spicy stew of family ties and food fights, leaving a bitter aftertaste. The aunt’s good deed turned into a blame game, but her resolve not to fund fast food holds firm. It begs the question: where’s the line between helping family and enabling bad habits? Whether you’re Team Veggies or Team Pizza, share your thoughts below. What would you cook up in this kitchen chaos?

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