AITA for letting my husband (34M) teach my daughter (8F) boxing?

In a lively home gym where the thump of boxing gloves echoes, a mother’s decision to let her 8-year-old daughter learn boxing from her stepdad has stirred up a family feud. With her daughter gleefully punching pads and bonding with her stepfather, the joy of their newfound hobby faces pushback from an ex who cries danger. This Reddit tale jabs at the heart of parenting debates, spiced with the warmth of a stepdad’s care and a mother’s resolve.

It’s not just about boxing it’s about trust, empowerment, and standing up to outdated fears. As the daughter’s enthusiasm grows and her ex’s complaints escalate, this story pulls us into a ring where family dynamics and personal growth duke it out. Let’s step into this spirited saga with a grin and a nod to a little girl’s big punches.

‘AITA for letting my husband (34M) teach my daughter (8F) boxing?’

My husband and I have been married for 2 years together for five. He's been in my daughters life since she was 5 and they honestly have a great relationship. My relationship with my ex was not great. We weren't together for long before out daughter was born, and he wasn't all that interested in being a father when she arrived.

He didn't fight for custody and had no problem only seeing her every other weekend when she was born, and even then he was pretty inconsistent. My current husband is a trainer, he teaches intermediate and advanced boxing and kickboxing courses.

He's been doing martial arts since he was six years old and even trains some professional fighters. When lockdowns started earlier this year we could tell that my daughter was going a little stir crazy. She's very high energy loves running around and playing.

She's never expressed any interest in martial arts before but we have a pretty substantial home gym so we asked her if she wanted to try exercising with him. Since then she's really taken a liking to it. My husband even ordered her a own pair of gloves.

She seems to really be getting into it and asks to participate whenever he's working out. She's not taking any hits AT ALL. She's doing all the hitting, they mostly just work on her technique by hitting pads and these things that look like soft ping pong paddles.

She's been getting really into it and has been talking a lot about boxing wanting to watch old matches with her stepdad. The issue is with my ex. He's been starting arguments that it's dangerous and that a little girl shouldn't be learning how to fight. He's been increasingly vocal about his complaints.

It all recently blew up when he threated legal action and wanting to change the custody arrangement if we let our daughter continue to participate in a dangerous activity. I basically told him off and said it's no different than her being on a soccer team.

I also told him off on the legal threat, I know for a fact that he can't afford a lawyer right now, and he has only really interacted with my daughter over video chat this year, and even before then he'd rarely put in effort to see her. I felt good about my choice until his family started reaching out to me about my decision.

ADVERTISEMENT

His family reached out and agreed it was dangerous, his sister also tried telling us off about it. I was still adamant about letting my daughter continue with it until MY extended family started reaching out to me about it, also saying it's to dangerous for a child. It's been weighing on me since I really do trust my family's opinions.

My Husband says that it's perfectly safe and that he's been training people for years. I don't personally have any experience with martial arts so I feel like I need an outside opinion.. AITA for continuing to let my daughter box with her stepdad?

ADVERTISEMENT

EDIT: Thank you all so much for the kind words! You've really helped reaffirm my decision to continue letting my husband train with my daughter. Quite a few people have expressed that this issue may be due to jealousy from my ex, and this is starting to seem like the case for me.

I wanted to believe he was more mature than that but honestly he's been throwing these tantrums pretty frequently since I got together with my husband, this has just been the loudest one yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

Also, I'd like to thank some of the women that commented on their own experiences with martial arts. You have convinced me to finally take my husband up on his offer to teach me as well. I never thought martial arts would become family activity but I'm really excited.

Boxing lessons for an 8-year-old can sound like a bold move, but this mother’s choice to let her daughter train safely with her stepdad is a knockout for bonding and confidence. The ex’s objections, rooted in fears of danger, ignore the controlled, no-contact nature of the training. His family’s echo and the mother’s relatives’ doubts seem to lean on gendered stereotypes, assuming boxing is too rough for a girl.

ADVERTISEMENT

This clash reflects broader debates about children in sports. A 2021 study in the Journal of Pediatric Psychology found that martial arts improve confidence and discipline in kids, with low injury rates in supervised settings. Dr. Laura Markham, a child psychologist, notes, “Physical activities like boxing teach kids resilience and self-defense, especially valuable for girls”. Here, the daughter’s enthusiasm and safe training environment outweigh vague safety concerns.

Markham’s insight suggests the mother’s instincts are spot-on. She could address her ex’s fears by inviting him to observe a session, showing the focus on technique, not combat. The stepdad’s expertise as a trainer adds credibility, ensuring age-appropriate lessons. Open communication with extended family, perhaps sharing research on martial arts benefits, could ease their worries and highlight the daughter’s joy.

Practical solutions include documenting the training’s safety protocols for the ex or involving a neutral family mediator to discuss concerns. The mother’s firm stance, backed by her husband’s experience, sets a strong example for her daughter. This story reminds us that empowering kids through safe, fun activities can outweigh naysayers’ fears, especially when love and care are in the ring.

ADVERTISEMENT

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s community threw their weight behind the mother, cheering her support for her daughter’s boxing lessons and dismissing the ex’s objections as overblown and possibly jealous. Users praised the stepdad’s role in fostering a fun, safe activity, noting that boxing builds confidence, especially for girls.

The consensus called out the ex’s sexism and lack of involvement, with many highlighting the bonding benefits for the daughter and stepdad. The lively support, peppered with personal stories of martial arts, affirmed the mother’s choice as a win for her daughter’s happiness.

blueboxesatc − NTA. 1) she's having fun. 2) she's bonding with her stepfather (could this be a factor in ex's concern as well?). 3) she's perfectly safe 4) Ex (and extended family) don't get to stay distant until they disapprove and expect their opinion to carry any weight As long as she's actively interested, there's no harm. As a girl, being able to physically defend herself is priceless.

ADVERTISEMENT

NoisyTummy − NTA Boxing is a great sport, and if your daughter likes it let her do it! It actually teaches how to NOT be hurt!. I bet ex and families wouldn't have any issues with more 'girly' sports like ballet :/

[Reddit User] − NTA -Your ex is being sexist and weird. Little girls should definitely learn how to fight, especially to defend themselves from other people. It's awesome that your husband is teaching her and it's awesome that she's interested. The only reason you could possibly be the A is if you were forcing her to do it, which you aren't.

tinyahjumma − My little girl took Kung Fu for 12 years. She can f*** UP a fully grown adult if she wants to, and she’s only 5’2”. I feel deeply relieved that she can defend herself.. NTA

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − Oh god no. She’s a girl so she shouldn’t be allowed to learn how to fight? What kinda bold sexist s**t is that? You’re NTA, so long as she enjoys it, and is being safe then there’s no issue. I am no lawyer I cannot see there being a case there whatsoever.

[Reddit User] − NTA. I (a mom of 2) actually am looking forward to when it's relatively safe to sign kids up for activities again, because both my husband I think our toddler daughter would be a natural at jiu jitsu. She's very physical and loves to wrestle her big brother

and since she's a girl I think it would be good for her to have fighting skills so that if she ever finds herself in a dangerous situation, she'll have a chance at fending off her attacker and being able to get away.

ADVERTISEMENT

If your little girl learns how to properly throw a powerful punch it could very well save her life one day, but aside from that, it's a wonderful way for her to bond with her step-dad. Personally I think bio-dad is jealous, but it's his own fault for not having a close relationship with his child.

Octus_L − NTA self defense is important for anyone, and your SO with his experience should know plenty on training children without having them overwork their development. As in gaining a ton of muscle on a developing frame etc.

Any gender at any age should learn more about self defense and the exercise involved will be great for them in understanding how to operate their 'meat suits' best way i can put it.. There are child psychology case studies you can look into on the benefits of sports and development

ADVERTISEMENT

Here is an article that addresses multiple parts of it, you can do more research on your own. But Ultimately IMHO it should be your child that has the final say on how far they take this interest, their young and learning about the world still.. 

[Reddit User] − No contact boxing/kickboxing is much safer than soccer!. NTA.

ThrowRA705975 − NTA. I don't understand what the issue is at all. Lots of kids get enrolled into Karate or similar classes at a young age. As long as the training is age appropriate (sounds like it is) and she's having fun? No issue.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA. It’s great for fitness, confidence and sounds great for bonding between her and her stepdad, like you’ve already said as long as you’re keeping her away from taking hits until an appropriate age I don’t see the problem

This boxing brouhaha shows how a little girl’s punches can spark big family debates. The mother’s defense of her daughter’s safe, joyful training is a powerful stand for empowerment and bonding, despite her ex’s noisy objections.

It’s a reminder that kids thrive when supported, not sidelined by outdated fears. Have you faced pushback for letting kids try bold activities? Share your stories below—let’s talk about championing kids’ passions!

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *