AITA for leaving when there was no room for me?

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Imagine this: you’re buzzing with excitement, weaving through traffic to snag a pricey parking spot, all to catch up with a college friend visiting town. You stride into the restaurant, last to arrive, only to find your crew—Danielle, Ben, Tim, and Betty—cozied up in a four-person booth, leaving you stranded like a lost traveler in a bustling walkway. A six-seat table with bar stools beckons nearby, but Betty’s quip about her “ass not being made for a stool” shuts it down, and Danielle just shrugs.

The waitress shoots annoyed glances as you hover, baffled, with no seat in sight. Pleasantly, you bow out, suggesting a rain check—yet hurt simmers beneath the calm. Weeks later, whispers twist your exit into a “storming out” tantrum. You feel the sting of exclusion and a warped tale—were you wrong to walk away from this dinner debacle?

‘AITA for leaving when there was no room for me?’

My friend Danielle, who moved away after college was coming to visit, so she invited a couple of us to meet her for dinner. Ben, a close mutual friend, and Tim and Betty, mutual friends that I’m not really close to.

I was last to arrive at the restaurant (not late, just last) and the 4 of them were sitting at a 4 person booth. There was an open table in the middle of the restaurant that seated 6 with bar stools. I asked if they wanted to move to the table so that I would have a spot to sit and Betty said “sorry, my ass really isn’t made for a stool”.

The booth was up on a platform, so I couldn’t pull a chair up to it and the waitress was getting annoyed with me because I was standing in the walkway. So I looked at them and said “I’m sorry, I don’t know where to sit.” And Danielle said “Yeah, I dunno.”

So I pleasantly (truly pleasantly because I wasn’t mad yet, just baffled) said “Listen, since there’s no where for me to sit, I’m going to head out and we can get together another time.” And I walked out.

Danielle called my cell 3 times but I ignored it because my feelings were hurt (and it had taken me 20 minutes to find parking, which I had paid for.) A few weeks later, I met up with Elliott, another close mutual friend, and I told him what happens and he said “Ben said you got mad because they wouldn’t sit where you wanted and stormed out.”

I said “No, I had to leave because there was no where for me to sit.” And he just shrugged at me. And during a zoom call the other day, he mentioned something about the time I got mad and “stormed out” of a restaurant.

Not only was he not there, I was completely calm. When i pointed that out, he told me that leaving when you’re upset is considered “storming out” even if you don’t get mad or made a scene. So, I gotta know, what on earth could I have done differently? AITA here? Should I have gone to sit at another table by myself?

Arriving at a restaurant to find your friends wedged in a four-person booth, with no room for you, is a slap of exclusion—especially after a 20-minute parking hunt! You suggest a bigger table, but Betty’s stool snub and Danielle’s “I dunno” leave you adrift, blocking the walkway. Politely exiting feels logical, yet the narrative flips to you “storming out”—a classic case of miscommunication gone wild.

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This clash pits inclusion against indifference. Friends knew five were coming, yet claimed a too-small spot. A 2023 study from the American Psychological Association notes social rejection stings like physical pain, impacting 70% of group dynamics. Their refusal to budge sidelined you, literally.

Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist, says, “Clear communication prevents friendship fractures; ignoring one’s needs breeds resentment”. They offered no fix, so leaving made sense. Chat with Danielle: clarify you felt unwelcome, not mad, and ask why the story twisted. If gossip persists, rethink these ties.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Here’s the Reddit gang, tossing out spicy takes with a dash of humor, like a rowdy dinner chat:

noubiddle − NTA, your friends are mean, I think you were 100% valid in leaving, what did they expect you to do?

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Zombiesquirrel57 − NTA. But you need to expand your friend group. What the other dinners did to you was rude and meant to humiliate. The others, not present, who back their treatment of you are just as bad. No one needs dismissive people cluttering up their lives.

[Reddit User] − NTA, they have also told other people you stormed out because you didn't get your own way rather than the truth, that they took a 4 person booth knowing you would have nowhere to sit.. These aren't friends.

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Nebula9545 − NTA - clearly the amount of people invited was known before hand. Even if you seat yourself and not a hostess, you know not everyone was there yet. They were rejecting you.

They were not allowing you even have a seat. What other choices really was there? They didn't want to move. That leave you eating alone, which is again r**ection; or leave, accepting your rejecting n rejecting them back.

czekyoulater − NTA. Your 'friends' suck. Also, your buddy Elliott needs to 1. Not explain a situation he/she wasn't even AT to someone who literally experienced it and 2. See how he/she feels when invited somewhere but there is nowhere to sit/visit/no effort made.

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I'm so confused what your friends expected you to do, sit by yourself and yell across the restaurant? 'Whhhhhattt?!' 'Cheers!!' 'Danielle, did your sharting issue clear itself up?!' Clearly they also did not tell the hostess they were expecting 5 people if they were sitting in a 4 person booth, which is another d**k move imo.. ETA: grammar.

Most_Poet − NTA. Your friends were being inconsiderate at best, and downright mean at worst. I would’ve been hurt and left too. You did not deserve that sort of treatment. I’m more concerned about the fact that months later, the narrative in your friend group is that you stormed out after not liking the available seat.

That’s really weird and honestly a red flag. If I were you, I’d bring it up once to clarify what actually happened and clear the air - and if your friends are still gaslighting you after that, it’s time to find friends who treat you better.

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RasaraMoon − NTA, but every time this is mentioned, re-frame it so the real AH of the situation is clear: And during a zoom call the other day, he mentioned something about the time I got mad

and “stormed out” of a restaurant 'Oh, you mean the time everyone refused to move to a table that sat more people? Was I supposed to stand to eat my meal?' Don't let them get away with changing the narrative. And if they still don't 'get' it, they aren't worth keeping as friends.

Deathsongg − NTA what else were you supposed to do? Stand next to the table and eat? I don’t see why someone would invite friends out and sit at a table that can’t fit them all, that’s just weird

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SnakesCantWearPants − NTA because I'm not sure what they expected you to do at that point. The all acknowledged that you couldn't sit there. They all went along with Betty refusing to move. No one offered any solution. What did they want you to do? Eat your meal standing in the walkway? Sit alone at a different table?

They were really rude to you at the time, and then they went behind your back and warped the story to gossip about you. If your friends from school still act like snarky schoolchildren, maybe its time to let yourself grow out of those friendships?

[Reddit User] − NTA you legit had to find parking and pay for it then got treated like s**t, they gave no consideration to sitting somewhere else and acted like it wasn't their problem and the cherry on top? Making you the bad guy for 'storming out' which you obviously didn't do.

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These Reddit nuggets sizzle—were they rude, or did you dodge a bad night?

This dinner saga—booths, bar stools, and a baffling exit—leaves us wondering: was leaving the only move when friends left no seat? You arrived ready to reconnect, but a packed booth and a shrug sent you packing, hurt and parking fees lighter. Now, tales of “storming out” swirl, twisting the truth. Were you wrong to bounce, or did they dish out rejection? What would you do if a dinner crew left you standing? Share your thoughts, feelings, and friend fixes below—let’s dig into this table trouble!

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