AITA for leaving the intervention my family set up?

Jonathan Hours
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Picture a cozy living room, the air thick with tension, as a 22-year-old dentist braces for an unexpected showdown. She’s been managing her polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) with birth control for five years, easing painful periods and pesky symptoms, confident in her research and doctor’s guidance. But her mom, an engineer with old-school views, stages a surprise intervention, roping in Dad and Uncle to challenge her choice—claiming it risks her future as a mom.

Embarrassed and cornered, she faces a barrage of opinions about her body, her insecurities, and mythical cures. Overwhelmed, she bolts, risking cultural disrespect in a family where elders hold sway. Now, cold silences linger, and she’s left wondering: was walking out too harsh? Grab a seat, folks—let’s dive into this heartfelt clash of health, heart, and heritage with a gentle chuckle!

‘AITA for leaving the intervention my family set up?’

I'm a 22 year old female dentist, my mother is a 52 year old engineer, my uncle is a 60ish year old pediatrician. I've been taking birth control to manage my PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) for around 5 years now, usually stopping for a month every year to allow my body to rest (per my gynos instructions). I've had to stop it for some blood tests, and have been off of it for 3 months now.

My mother is convinced birth control is the basically the devil and is going to make me infertile, she says PCOS is very common and back in her day no one even bothered to treat it because it goes away after having your first child (??). She's been pleading with me to stop taking it for a while now, but I've been very adamant that I will restart it once my blood tests are all done.

I've done my research and have shown her many long term studies showing that infertility with birth control is a very small chance (and it doesn't really cause it, it just covers up things that might), plus, I've studied about it enough in med school to feel safe when taking it.

Yesterday things took a turn for the worse; She had an 'intervention' set up yesterday with my uncle and my father, and she admitted to having discussed this with them behind my back and my uncle shares her view that hormone therapy = risk of infertility. I tried to explain my research and my personal experience with symptoms (acne, body hair, bad periods),

but it was very embarrassing having to talk about it with the men in the family. They kept insisting that I shouldn't ruin my chance of having a child because I'm insecure with myself, saying that I'll always be insecure about something. My dad chimed in saying that I'd be stupid not to take advice from a doctor (my uncle) and someone who has experience being a female with pcos (my mum).

Here’s where I might be the a**hole: I literally just got up and left, which in out culture is a very rude thing to do with elders or guests (my uncle) around especially. I've also been talking to them very coldly and only when I have to. I was on the verge of tears and I didn't want them to notice, and I'm still quite upset.

My sister says I'm the AH and I should have just listenned to them but resume taking my birth control without them noticing, and thinking back now I think that might have been the right thing to do. Or maybe just suck it up and stop taking it until I move out next year? Idk.

Edit: thank you for all the supportive responses, this blew up a bit so I wanted to clear a few things up: 1. I graduated highschool at 16, then enrolled in a 5 year dental program, I graduated youngest in my class at 21, and am currently working at a university hospital. 2. I'm aware that birth control is not a very effective method of contraception alone, and should be used with something else, but I did underestimate it a lot.

3. I'm Arab, so culture and family is a big deal, which is why I thought I was in the wrong for being rude to my parents. Thank you so much for all the wonderful stories about personal experiences, sometimes I feel alone in my struggle with PCOS because how hush hush everything is, and it's nice seeing that I'm not ❤️

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Talk about a family pile-on! This 22-year-old dentist, armed with medical training and research, stood her ground on birth control for PCOS, only to face a mom, uncle, and dad insisting it’ll steal her shot at kids. Embarrassed by the intimate debate, she walked out—rude by cultural standards, but a gutsy exit from a boundary breach. A clash of care and control, with a side of family drama!

This ties into a big issue: bodily autonomy versus family influence. About 1 in 10 women of childbearing age have PCOS, per the CDC, often eased by hormonal treatment like birth control (source). The myth that pregnancy “cures” it? Busted—symptoms often return post-birth, and infertility risks from birth control are minimal.

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Dr. Mary Jane Minkin, a Yale OB-GYN, notes, “Birth control is a cornerstone for managing PCOS symptoms safely,” in a 2021 Healthline piece (source). Her take backs this woman’s choice—easing acne, hair, and pain trumps unproven fears. Mom’s worry is sweet, but sharing private health details? A cheeky overstep!

Stick to your doctor’s plan, experts say—PCOS needs tailored care. If family pushes, calmly set boundaries: “I value your concern, but this is my call.” Moving out soon? Perfect timing to dodge the drama.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit crew—fiery, supportive, and a bit sassy! When family ambushed a young woman over her PCOS treatment, Redditors rallied, cheering her exit and jabbing at boundary blunders. Dive into their vibe:

[Reddit User] − NTA, your body your choice.

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MagicBricakes − NTA. So so many women take hormonal birth control and miraculously still manage to have children afterwards. Also it's your body so your choice.

[Reddit User] − Can't speak to cultural differences but NTA in my book. You should absolutely treat what sounds like a painful and miserable condition.

Maerchenmord − NTA I get, that your mom is initially coming from a point of caring, but she's absolutely overstepping a multitude of boundaries here. Continuously pushing something regarding your body onto you despite you adamantly telling her that you disagree and don't want it: Not ok. sharing these information with whoever she sees fit: Not ok

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forcing an open discussion with your family about intimate parts of your body and health on you: Really, really not ok.. telling you to ignore your condition: Nope, Nope, Nope

derailing the issue and berating you about only making this choice because of some fictional insecurities: So absolutely not okay. Is she even listening to you?. refusing to educate herself about the topic: Completely disqualifying.

Imo, your sister is wrong. You don't have to endure this stuff, just for the sake of being polite, when your family is completely disrespectful by invading your privacy like this and talking over your head. It's none of their damn business and from the sounds of it, this has been going on for years. You didn't blow up on them, you just very clearly showed: Enough is enough.. And I think you had every right to do that.

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LynetteScavo78 − NTA You stood up for yourself (quite literally) and left - something you should be doing whatever your cultural background is. You're well educated adult and your family shouldn't meddle with your personal choices.

Revwog1974 − NTA - I’ve got to say I couldn’t imagine a post called “leaving an intervention” where the person wasn’t the ass, but seriously, this is messed up, and you were absolutely right.You’re being treated for a medical condition, a painful one. Moms worry; it’s in the job description. But you’ve given her more than enough info. Sharing your medical info with people was wrong and a breach of trust.

If they’re more concerned about a possible future grandchild than your current health, then they may not have your best interests in mind. You should check out r/justnomil and r/justnofamily because there are a lot of people in those subs sharing support for boundary invading parents.

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Meramien − NTA. Personally I would just lie to them. Honestly it's not their business what you and your doctor choose to do to treat your health condition. So many parents don't realize that the more they push, the less honest their grown children will be with them.

Rainishername − NTA and absolutely do NOT stop taking your birth control. You have a real medical condition that’s painful! Don’t n**lect yourself. Fake not taking it if you have to, even switch to a different kind that’s raise to hide, per suggestion of your actual doctor. Your mom isn’t a so cb it. Your uncle isn’t an ob or YOUR doctor. They all sound like religious close minded people.

Not only that, but it’s sexist as hell to value a woman’s ability to procreate over her wellbeing. I’m sorry if it’s ants to bear that about family members. But them interrogating you over your private parts and private matters is extremely gross! It’s none of their business.

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Moving forward, I suggest learning how to “Frey rock” so you can avoid conflicts with them, but not sacrifice what you need to do for yourself. You’re not an a**hole for walking out. When I read the title I assumed maybe you were an addict or something since, you know, that’s what interventions are actually for. Not for trying to control an adult woman taking care of her health in completely normal ways.

PopCornTea_ − NTA. They really don't get it. I was diagnosed with PCOS from age 12 until it turned out to be more likely Endometriosis diagnosed last year aged 19, and birth control is the only thing that allows me to function without being on Codeine almost every week. The pain from it has left me feeling borderline suicidal in the past.

It's a MAJOR myth that getting pregnant cures you. At best, you'll be symptom free whilst you have a baby in you, but the symptoms will likely return after you give birth. A few people say there's some changes in their symptoms, but it's still no cure and never something I'd advise hoping on.

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OvercastFox − NTA! Your body, your choice. Besides, you are a person in your own right, not an incubator. Your mother's definitely TA for discussing your reproductive decisions with family members in order to pressure you into doing what she wants.

These are Reddit’s bold takes, but do they hit the mark? Maybe the real win is owning your health—culture or not, with a wink at Mom’s worry turning into a full-on intervention!

This tale spun from a dentist’s quiet confidence in her PCOS plan to a chaotic family intervention, ending with a bold exit and chilly vibes. Our 22-year-old hero faced down misplaced fears and cultural norms, choosing her health over awkward debates. It’s a quirky nudge: love fuels family worry, but your body, your rules—especially with science on your side.

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What would you do if family staged a health showdown? Stick it out or stride away? Toss your thoughts, stories, and sage advice below—let’s unpack this heartfelt drama together!

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