AITA for leaving my therapist a bad review without talking to them about it first?

Finding the right therapist can feel like a fragile new beginning. After three years without professional support, OP decided it was time to try again, carefully choosing someone from her insurance provider’s approved list. Everything seemed straightforward: online sessions, minimal copay, paperwork submitted, and confirmation that her insurance would fully cover the appointments.

The first two sessions went well, giving her hope that she had found someone who truly understood her. But a single appointment — one that started late, ended early, and was followed by a shocking $350 bill — quickly unraveled that trust. What began as optimism about restarting therapy turned into frustration, confusion, and a public two-star review that sparked heated debate online.

‘AITA for leaving my therapist a bad review without talking to them about it first?’

After years without therapy, OP decided to try again cautiously:

I decided to get a therapist after 3 years without one. I found him on a list of insurance approved psychologists. I got this list directly from my insurance provider...

Ok sounds great. I should also mention these are done online through a service just like zoom. I cannot join the session until he starts it.

The first sessions felt promising and professionally handled at first:

The first 2 sessions were good, I really liked him and thought he understood me well. I submitted all of my paperwork to his secretary who handled billing and she...

Then one session shifted her feelings from hopeful to frustrated:

For the session that happened last week, he joined the session 13 minutes late with no apology at all. My sessions are supposed to be 60 mins. I expected my...

However he hit me with the “ok well let’s wrap up and schedule your next appointment” after we’d been on the call for 35 mins. I didn’t really say anything...

The billing issue the next day escalated everything significantly:

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The next day I received a bill in the mail for $350 and it said I owed because no insurance info was provided. I called his secretary and she said...

I had sent her an email, how do you misplace an email? I told her I would most definitely not be paying a cent other than my copay that I...

I told her that if she can’t even keep track of confidential info such as a patient’s insurance info that was a major problem. She assured me she would fix...

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But the follow-up call made the situation even more suspicious:

She called me back giving me all kinds of excuses, saying it was a mistake ok fine whatever mistakes happen. But then she said I still needed to pay the...

I didn’t and instead I went on his reviews page and gave him 2 stars with the simple explanation of “came in late, left early with no explanation, reception lost...

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I didn’t put feelings or bias into it, that is strictly what happened. Well he called me a few hours later with an attitude asking me why I didn’t just...

and leaving early he would have either canceled my appointment or at least apologized and said something. He wants a chance to fix the mistakes if I take down the...

From a clinical ethics standpoint, punctuality and transparency are fundamental to therapeutic trust. Consistently arriving late or ending sessions early without explanation can undermine the therapeutic alliance, which is central to effective treatment.

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Billing practices are equally important. Even if administrative staff handle insurance, clinicians remain responsible for ensuring patients are not unfairly charged. Mistakes happen, but insisting on payment without clear justification raises red flags.

Regarding the review, professionals are generally encouraged to respond calmly and constructively to feedback. Directly pressuring a client to remove a negative review may cross ethical boundaries, especially if framed defensively rather than collaboratively.

That said, open communication before public criticism can sometimes preserve a working relationship. In this case, however, the combination of shortened sessions, billing confusion, and defensive follow-up understandably eroded OP’s trust.

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Here’s what people had to say to OP:

The comment section quickly filled with strong opinions, many siding firmly with OP.

Many users expressed clear support and concern about possible fraud:

strangerfish2 - NTA. And the insurance bit almost sounds like it could be a scam. If you don't pay, just make sure you actually write a formal letter to your...

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Attach the email with the time stamp as well as that list your insurance provider gave you indicating he accepts your plan.

I say this because (if you're in the US) medical debt that gets sent to collections can actually show up on deep dive credit reports, like those run to buy...

shaytan124 - NTA. Late arrival without warning, plus cutting your visits, plus the way the office handled customer service was all very unprofessional.

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I think engaging in fraud with you; charging you for 60 minutes when it was only 35, and then “misplacing” your insurance and charging you full price without re-submitting to...

At the very least, if there’s a logistical problem with insurance, theyre required to resubmit to the insurance company with the correct billing stuff (35 minutes instead of 60).

Report the business to the state for fraud, and report them to the psychology board/overseer in your area. Leave them that bad review.

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Others criticized the therapist’s professionalism more than the billing error:

Ahnkx - NTA. Also, seems like he's more concerned with the bad review than his own poor service.

Lovegivingadvice - NTA. Not being sarcastic but HE is the professional and should have been communication skills. He knows how to tell time and should have addressed the timing considering...

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Also, the services in terms of billing are part of the experience. While not his fault per se - it’s part of the package.

Some offered more nuanced takes:

SilentMaunder - NTA. He was very unprofessional. The receptionist misplacing paperwork was just the cherry on the cake.

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I do agree that you probably should have spoken to him first regarding the charges, but given his attitude and rudeness, I would have been just as frustrated and angry....

[Reddit User] - NTA. Sessions don’t always take the full time because it’s not always logical to start a new conversation with 10 minutes left, but 35 min of a...

The ethical angle also drew attention:

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merpsicle - FYI if you’re in the US the psychologist asking you to take down your review is unethical (per my study material for the licensure exam) so you could...

This situation goes beyond a single late session. It touches on professionalism, billing integrity, and how providers respond when clients raise concerns. While some believe OP could have spoken to the therapist first, many argue that her review reflected exactly what happened — no embellishment, no exaggeration.

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At its core, therapy depends on trust and safety. When those foundations crack, even small issues can feel magnified. Was leaving the review premature, or was it a reasonable response to repeated missteps and questionable billing? Where should the line be drawn between giving a professional another chance and protecting your own peace of mind?

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