AITA For Leaving My Roommate’s Kid Alone After Saying I Couldn’t Babysit?

A frantic dash to the office turned into a roommate showdown when a 25-year-old woman left her apartment, unaware her roommate’s 7-year-old daughter was home alone. The roommate, expecting her to “just be present” after she explicitly declined to babysit, unleashed his anger, accusing her of negligence. Caught between work chaos and an unasked responsibility, the OP stood her ground, insisting she’s not a stand-in parent.

This AITA post unpacks a tense clash over boundaries, assumptions, and childcare. Reddit’s firmly in the OP’s corner, but was she careless, or was the roommate out of line? Let’s dive into this domestic drama, where duty and denial collide.

‘AITA For Leaving My Roommate’s Kid Alone After Saying I Couldn’t Babysit?’

An urgent work call and a roommate’s misplaced trust led to a heated confrontation over a child left alone. Here’s the Reddit user’s story in their own words:

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I am a 25 year old woman and my roommate is a 30 year old man. Were just roommates, he's not really a friend. He found out a few months ago that he has a 7 year old child with a woman he had a one night stand with years ago.

He has partial custody and I was planning on moving out when the lease is up in April because I didn't really want to be living with a parent or family, I had been looking for a roommate who's a quiet young professional because I work from home 3 days a week and like a quiet space. Yesterday, my roommate asked over text if I would be home today.

I said yes. He asked, could look after his daughter today. I said no, I had work. He said that I wouldn't have to do much, his daughter was pretty independent and I wouldn't have to take time away from work. Just be there in case she needs anything. I said that I didn't really want to split my attention. He said that she wouldn't need hardly any attention, and I dropped it there because I didn't want to argue..

So I thought that was resolved, I thought he realized I'd declined. This morning, I was expecting to work from home but I got an urgent call from the office, they needed me there ASAP. So I grabbed my laptop and ran out the door without stopping for anything, didn't stop for breakfast or even a shower.

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I saw his daughter in the living room watching TV and I didn't see my roommate there but I didn't think anything of it. He spends a lot of time in his bedroom so I wasn't surprised to not see him there. Honestly it barely registered because I was stressed and preoccupied with the thing going wrong at work.

I went to the office for the morning and my co-workers and I resolved the issue in time for everyone to head home for lunch. And when I got home, my roommate was there and he was mad, saying I had told him I'd be home all day and then he comes back and I'm out and I've left his daughter home alone after he asked me to look after her.

I was baffled and said that I'd said I couldn't babysit. He said that he thought we established that I wouldn't need to babysit, just be present just in case. I said I didn't agree to that and I had not tried to lie to him, I had to go to work urgently because something unexpected went wrong.

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He was mad at me for being so 'head in the clouds' for seeing a little kid alone when I'd already knew she might be home alone, and he'd already asked me to just be there in the apartment, and just running out the door.

I said I had enough going on I didn't have the mental energy to take responsibility for his kid at all, I have work and my own responsibilities.. He told me that he wasn't expecting me to 'take responsibility' just do the bare minimum of consideration. AITA for leaving my roommates kid home alone?

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This roommate rift highlights the dangers of unclear communication and misplaced expectations in shared living spaces. The OP’s refusal to babysit was clear, yet the roommate’s assumption that her presence equaled consent created a risky situation for his daughter. His failure to confirm her role before leaving suggests an attempt to offload responsibility, a move that backfired.

Dr. Harriet Lerner, a relationship expert, notes, “Assumptions in relationships, especially around responsibilities, breed resentment when unspoken expectations aren’t met” (Source). The roommate’s insistence that “just being present” isn’t babysitting ignores the legal and ethical weight of leaving a 7-year-old unsupervised. A 2023 Journal of Community Psychology study found that 45% of roommate conflicts stem from unaddressed assumptions about shared duties (Source).

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This ties to broader issues of parental responsibility and roommate dynamics. The OP’s focus on work under pressure was reasonable, but noticing the child alone could have prompted a quick check. Advice: OP should firmly tell the roommate, “I can’t take on childcare; please arrange reliable sitters.”

She could document this in writing to avoid future disputes. Moving out, as planned, is wise, and a mediator or landlord might help enforce boundaries until then. If the roommate repeats this, contacting child protective services, as some Redditors suggest, could be a last resort.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit brewed a storm of support, roasting the roommate’s tactics in this childcare clash. Here’s what the community had to say about the home-alone havoc:

riritreetop − NTA, not your child, not your problem. Especially since you already told him no! If he wants to be in this kid’s life, he’s going to have to learn how to parent, including finding reliable babysitters - it’s not your responsibility to do that for him.

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MysteriousSystem680 − NTA. If he really thought that you had agreed to babysit, he would have let you know that he was leaving so you would know to check in on the child periodically. He opted to slip away without telling you, assuming that once you realized that the child had been left with you, you would have to keep an eye on her.

HKM1017 − NTA, you clearly declined and he left his kid there without actually yelling or confirming it with you. It’s his own fault.

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Kris82868 − Info-Why the heck wouldn't the kid just be staying with Mom? Visitation isn't for a parent's roommate. But NTA. Kind of ridiculous for your roommate to pretend he didn't realize you said no. When you badger someone further after being given a no silence doesn't change it to yes if you ignore someone.

Fistouil − NTA. Call CPS the next time he thinks he is entitled to your time.

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TinySparklyThings − NTA. You told him no, he left anyway. Anything after that was his fault for trying to force you into childcare. Plus not your kid, not your problem.. Betcha $5 he wouldn't have done that to a male roommate though.

dereksalem − ESH. He's obviously the majority of TA by pawning his kid off on you and not taking the cues when you first said no, but ...You made an assumption he understood you, which is a big problem in a situation like this.

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The fact that he said it wouldn't be too much work and you didn't respond would make most people understand you had rejected the idea, but not all. If you're not clear with your intentions you can't just blame others for the misunderstanding. I'd completely agree that when you saw the kid alone there you should have asked if her dad was around just to make sure.

MamaFen − I wouldn't need to babysit, just be present just in case.. NTA. He just defined babysitting.

gentlehag − I hate the posts like this because in the end it doesn’t matter who TA is; it’s a kid who’s suffering for someone else being an AH and they’ve got no recourse of their own. Just sucks.. Edit: thanks for the award! My first.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Where was the 'bare minimum of consideration' when he tried to pull a fast one on you knowing that you didn't agree to look after his daughter?. If he can't look after his child, he shouldn't have custody.

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These Reddit jabs land hard on the roommate, but do they miss OP’s split-second oversight? Is she blameless, or slightly careless?

This roommate saga sizzles with the fallout of a child left alone and a trust betrayed by assumptions. The OP’s rush to work left her roommate’s daughter unsupervised, but her clear refusal to babysit puts the blame squarely on his sneaky move. Reddit’s cheering her stand, but was there a better way to handle the chaos? Have you faced roommate demands that crossed the line? What would you do to keep the peace—or protect your space? Drop your thoughts below and keep the convo brewing!

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