AITA for leaving my husband at home to go shopping by myself?

The fridge hums its empty lament on a quiet Sunday afternoon, shelves bare as a new marriage’s challenges unfold. In a small apartment, a 22-year-old newlywed, fresh from a 100-mile move, nudges her husband to join her for an urgent grocery run. But he’s lost in a virtual world, shouting at friends through a headset, oblivious to the ticking clock and closing supermarkets. Her patience frays like an old sweater, and with a defiant jingle of keys, she steps out alone.

This Reddit tale paints a vivid picture of clashing priorities, where a simple errand becomes a test of partnership. Readers lean in, curious about the fallout: was she wrong to leave her husband behind, or was it a bold stand for responsibility? The story stirs a universal question about balancing love and duty in the early days of marriage.

‘AITA for leaving my husband at home to go shopping by myself?’

Me (f22) and my husband (m23) have been married for about three weeks now, i have moved 100 miles to live in his city with him. He’s the only one who works rn as I haven’t found a job yet and with the pandemic it’s really hard. Anyways I have savings which should last a while.

I also do all the cooking and the cleaning. As it’s a Sunday today the supermarkets close early I told him that we need to do a big shop as we’re running out of essentials. However he was too busy on his video games screaming at his friends to take notice.

I kept asking him to wash his face and get changed as it was approaching 3pm however he kept telling me one more game. Eventually I got tired and left without him when he heard the door close he ran outside and told me to wait for him which I said no and left anyways, now he’s texting me saying I’m horrible for leaving him behind.. AITA For not waiting for him?

Three weeks into marriage, a grocery trip turns into a subtle power struggle. The wife, shouldering all household chores while jobless, faced a husband who chose gaming over their shared needs. Her solo shopping trip wasn’t just about groceries—it was a stand for her time and agency. His last-minute plea to join hints at a deeper communication gap, a risky start for newlyweds.

Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship expert, says, “Bids for connection, like asking for help, are critical; ignoring them builds resentment” (source: Gottman Institute). The husband’s dismissal of her requests risks setting a lopsided dynamic. She’s not just cooking and cleaning—she’s carrying the mental load of their home.

This reflects a broader issue: unequal household labor. A 2023 study by the Bureau of Labor Statistics shows women spend 2.6 hours more daily on unpaid household work than men (source: BLS). Early marriage habits, like this one, can cement long-term imbalances, especially once she’s employed.

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To move forward, they need clear communication. She could suggest a chore chart to share duties, ensuring fairness. Setting boundaries—like pausing games for urgent tasks—builds mutual respect. A calm discussion about priorities, perhaps guided by a counselor, could align their expectations, turning small moments into trust-building opportunities.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s got opinions hotter than a summer sidewalk! The community chimed in with wit and wisdom, calling out the husband’s immaturity and cheering the wife’s resolve.

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ladyteruki − NTA. I'm sorry, I'm not clear on the details : did you marry him 3 weeks ago or give birth to him 3 weeks ago ?

missingpineapples − NTA. I work my wife doesn’t. I play video games a lot, she doesn’t. When she wants me off those games to do something with her, I’m off those games because she’s far more important.

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BatterSlut − Info: why do both of you need to go shopping? Why can’t you just shop alone on a weekday when things are less crowded since you don’t have a job?

iari9609 − NTA, and i'm sorry to say this, but you married a child

engg_girl − NTA - you are really early in your marriage, what you do now will set the norms for your marriage. You tried very hard to get him to join. He choose to ignore you. You decided to do what you needed to get done and went on to do the shopping.

Regardless, in the future he can be ready to go when he needs to, or he can stay home and play video games. Advice: if the are going to go back to work, make sure it's clear that all the extra you do at home will need to be split evenly when you go back to work.

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He can agree to a work schedule or just some chores are 'his' and you let him do/not do them (don't remind him, and don't do them for him, eventually he will take responsibility but it is a power of wills). If you let him be lazy when you go back to work, he will be a nightmare for the rest of your marriage

and you will end up doing way too much at home and you won't be able to succeed in your career. Far too many women sacrafice their other ambitions for lazy husbands at home (if you want to do that it's fine, but make sure he and you understand the decisions your making and the work you do at home).

[Reddit User] − NTA. He clearly didn't care until you were no longer on his time. It was inconsiderate.. ​. He has no right to guilt trip you over it, either. He wouldn't even listen to you before.

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magstar222 − It sounds like you have a child instead of a husband. He's ridiculous. Get your shop on! NTA

kit235 − NTA. You're doing the responsible thing making sure you have food to eat. It's a bit worrying that you're having issues like this three weeks into your marriage. I would have a serious talk with him so it doesn't carry on like this.

xsimosan − NTA. He didn't take your time in consideration so why should you wait for him?

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awill237 − NTA. Need-to-do before want-to-do. He prioritized his wants (gaming) over your needs (procuring food for the week). When he realized you weren’t also going to place his wants over your needs, suddenly your needs became his wants. You were under no obligation to further postpone your errands. If he brings it up again, explain you were under time constraints. *Time waits for no man* and neither do you.

These spicy takes light up the thread, but do they capture the full picture, or are they just Reddit’s armchair referees at play?

This grocery store saga isn’t just about milk and bread—it’s a snapshot of a young couple navigating the messy dance of marriage. The wife’s solo trip was a quiet rebellion against being sidelined, sparking cheers from Reddit’s crowd. But it leaves us wondering: how do small choices shape a partnership’s future? Have you ever faced a moment where duty clashed with patience? Share your story—what would you do in her shoes?

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