AITA for leaving my boyfriend behind and going on the trip with our friends?

Tension crackled in the air as she stood at the airport, her friends buzzing with excitement for their New Year’s adventure abroad. Her boyfriend, Paul, rifled through his bag, his face paling as he realized his passport was two hours away at home. After years of playing document-keeper for her forgetful partner, she’d handed over the reins—only to watch him fumble. Was she wrong to board the plane without him, leaving him stranded?

The moment felt like a scene from a rom-com gone wrong, with her heart torn between guilt and exasperation. Readers might feel her frustration, wondering if love means babysitting a grown man’s responsibilities or standing firm on personal boundaries. This Reddit tale dives into a clash of accountability and expectations, sparking a debate about where duty ends and independence begins.

‘AITA for leaving my boyfriend behind and going on the trip with our friends?’

I've been with my boyfriend (I'll call him Paul) for 3 years and living together for 6 months. Paul has serious problems with forgetting important documents and after the 4x he did this, I became responsible for carrying our documents in my purse.

According to him, all documents have a digital version and that is enough, not all are digital (passport) and not all places accept the digital form, but he is stubborn and maintains this position. I don't mind being responsible for the documents and most of the time, I have them in my purse.

That is until one day (2 months ago) he called me asking about his identity, because he needed it for something and they didn't accept the digital version, I was at work and I informed him that I had with me. He gave me a huge scolding, saying that their documents should be at home and told me to stop 'holding' his documents.

I handed his documents over to him and said that I would no longer be responsible for this or warn him about it, because I was doing a favor for someone I love who is a capable adult (27).. For the situation: We and our friends decided to travel to another country on New Years from the 12/27-01/03 and a passport is needed as it is on another continent.

We would go to the capital where we would stay at our friend's house until our flight time. Our city is 2 hours away. We decided to go to the airport 4 hours before (visit the VIP room) and I went to check all my documents first. Paul was on my side and when he saw only one passport, he asked about his and I just said 'You have it'.

He panicked, saying he thought I had taken even more passports as usual and left it at home. He decided to run home and come back, he asked me to go with him but I didn't want to spend 4 hours in the car. He went to get his passport (but complained that this was something to remember him by) and I went with my friends to the airport.

In short, he didn't arrive on time and I decided I wouldn't miss my trip because of him. I turned off my cell phone and made my 12h trip. When I arrived, several messages from him saying that he couldn't believe that I had gone on a trip without him and that I had done it as forms of revenge because of his scolding.

The flights are all booked up or too expensive, so he probably won't come. He's still accusing me of leaving him behind after purposely not remember something I know he struggles with.. My friends are on my side, but I feel doubtful.. AITA? I forgot one detail: I always make a list for our trips of what to take, his passport was on the list and he still forgot it.

Relationships thrive on mutual responsibility, but this story highlights what happens when one partner leans too heavily on the other. Paul’s habit of forgetting crucial documents, only to scold his girlfriend for managing them, points to a dynamic ripe for conflict. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and shared responsibilities” (The Gottman Institute). Paul’s reliance on his partner, followed by blame, suggests an imbalance that could strain their bond.

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This situation reflects a broader issue: weaponized incompetence, where one partner avoids tasks by feigning helplessness. According to a 2023 study by the Pew Research Center, 41% of women in relationships report handling more household responsibilities than their partners (Pew Research). Here, Paul’s insistence on digital documents and his subsequent panic reveal a refusal to adapt, putting unfair pressure on his girlfriend.

Gottman’s principle of “turning toward” your partner could apply here. Paul’s girlfriend tried to support him, but his scolding pushed her to set boundaries. Her choice to let him handle his documents was a step toward fairness, though it led to his travel mishap. The lesson? Clear communication about responsibilities early on could have prevented this airport drama.

For couples facing similar issues, experts suggest open discussions about task-sharing. Setting reminders or using shared apps for travel prep can ease tensions. Paul’s girlfriend might consider calmly addressing his forgetfulness post-trip, framing it as a team effort to avoid future fumbles. Boundaries are healthy, but so is compassion—finding balance is key.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s verdict was swift and spicy, with users serving up candid takes on Paul’s passport predicament. Here’s what the community had to say, with a side of humor and some brutal honesty:

gingergal3 − NTA.. He wanted his documents back. You gave him his documents back. He forgot his documents.

No-Train8518 − NTA. He is a grown ass man who is blaming you for his irresponsibility. He self sabotaged the trip & expected you yo miss it by coming home with him. He is pissed because his plan did not work

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Skizzybee − NTA. This is a red flag and you need to move on.

Party-Yak-2894 − Nta. He’s not a baby. You’re not his mommy.

SamRhage − So he bitched you out for holding on to his documents after asking you to do just that. Now he's bitching because you followed his wish but afterwards did not baby him and remind him of his password. He needs a mommy, not a girlfriend. Maybe your solo vacation is enough of a wake up call for him, good on you for sticking to your guns. NTA.

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ResoluteMuse − What he has done and continues to do, is called weaponized helplessness, and it is a no-win situation for you, no matter what you do.. Keep your phone off and enjoy your trip.. NTA

[Reddit User] − NTA, and this is an easy one. He, and he alone, is responsible for packing for a trip which includes his identification and documents. He failed himself and missed the flight, that's 100% on him. Your bags were packed and your ticket paid for. You responsibly made it to the gate in a timely manner. You absolutely did the right thing in boarding that plane.

Just-Fix-2657 − Well, well, well if it isn’t the consequences of his own actions. Maybe he’ll learn to accept your help or be more responsible with his important documents. Go and have a fabulous time. NTA

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GardenDivaESQ − NTA and really, do you want to live the rest of your life with this dope?

[Reddit User] − You're the a**hole for abandoning him for six days without a babysitter. He gunna die.

These Reddit hot takes are fiery, but do they hold up? Is Paul’s forgetfulness a dealbreaker, or just a quirk to work through? The internet’s not shy, but real life might call for a softer touch.

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This tale of a forgotten passport and a solo trip sparks a big question: where’s the line between helping a partner and enabling them? The girlfriend stood her ground, but was it cold to leave Paul behind? Relationships are a dance of give-and-take, and this story shows how quickly steps can falter. What would you do if your partner’s mistake threatened your plans? Share your thoughts—have you ever had to choose between loyalty and your own adventure?

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