AITA for leaving entirety of my business to my daughter and causing my other kids to accuse me of playing favorites?

In a softly lit dining room, a father’s birthday toast to his daughter X turned celebration into conflict. His $30 million business, built on X’s college fund, was his pride, but naming her sole heir ignited accusations of favoritism from siblings Z and Y. The announcement, meant to honor X’s trust, instead stirred resentment, exposing cracks in family bonds.

This Reddit tale captures a clash of loyalty and fairness, where a father’s dream meets his children’s expectations. X’s risky investment fueled success, but left others feeling sidelined. With emotions running high, this story pulls readers into a drama of love, legacy, and the delicate balance of family ties.

‘AITA for leaving entirety of my business to my daughter and causing my other kids to accuse me of playing favorites?’

When I graduated college, I got a job in tech and my gf (now wife) was pregnant with my first child. I wanted to open my own business but the timing was s**tty and way too much risk that I could not afford. So I accepted the job in tech. I never left the field as it paid well and let me do what's best for my family.

ADVERTISEMENT

I had 2 more kids (Z 32F, Y 31M, X 30F), married my gf who wanted to be a SAHM and started saving for their college. I sort of accepted long ago that I would never be able to go into business. My wife wanted to save some more for the kids for after college.

All of my kids got full ride scholarship to college and I told them that their college fund will be given to them when they graduate. All of a sudden I didn't have to work in a field I was not passionate about anymore. When X graduated, I really wanted to start my business.

I did not have much money sitting idle except our emergency and retirement fund. I was reluctant to touch them. But I needed capital. So, I asked my kids if I could use their college fund. I warned them very clearly that this might backfire massively. I could end up losing all the money and I wouldn't be able to give them ANY money.

Z had already brought a house. Y did not want to take the risk. X accepted. I wouldn't have held it against them at all. I slowly started my business (easy because I was always passionate and continued to learn about it over the years, my tech experience has elevated my business model).

ADVERTISEMENT

This business was a hit around the one year mark and it continued to grow. The company grew exponentially when the pandemic hit.. My business is now worth over 30M compared to the 500k it was started with. Recently, we acquired a new big project which would definitely make the company much bigger in the upcoming years (maybe x2 or even x3 the profits).

When we had a dinner with all the kids and their families for my daughter's 30th birthday. I told her that this success belongs to her too as her belief in me was what started it all. I said that it was her company as much as it was mine.

After dinner, Z asked me what I meant and I told her about my current will. My wife would get 2 houses (one we are living in and a vacation house which would give her a sizable monthly income). My personal assets and money will go 50% to my wife and the other 50% will be split equally among the 3, but the company would go to X and only her.

ADVERTISEMENT

X and her husband are business majors and currently runs their own business, which is also a bonus. This has created quite the drama in my family. From my point of view, she incurred all th risks, so she must reap all the benefits. However, my wife and my other kids disagree and everyone are fighting now.

Z and Y pointing out that I said I wouldn't hold it against them but that's what I am doing. My wife thinks the kids are right and it looks like I am playing favorites.. X has just said that it was my decision and she would accept whatever that turns out to be.. Aita ?.

ADVERTISEMENT

Update: I called a family meeting over Skype. All 5 of us were there in the call. First, I apologised for how the news came out. I told that I had wrongly assumed that everyone would be okay with this. My children aren't greedy or entitled. They are responsible and kind.

They need not have studied as hard as they did as they could have easily used the money I had given them. Instead, they worked hard and got scholarships. Even after college they worked hard and got good jobs and made good investments.

ADVERTISEMENT

If they hadn't, I would have continued my previous job to save more money for their future or to help them out. In a way, they all helped me do what I wanted to do. I told them that even now I can give them each 1/3 Rd of the company and give X whatever she gave me with 25% interest separately.

I asked them to a answer me honestly one question: If the business had gone belly up, would they have split their money and given a share to X or would they have told her to accept that her investment was a risk. My children are not liars. They admitted that even though they are now well settled, back then they might not have given X any from their share.

ADVERTISEMENT

In the end, I told them that they can decide what I need to do and I would do that. Both of them said that X deserves it and she would make the most out of the business in the future. They also admitted that they felt guilty for not helping me and it felt like I was pointing that out.

I again told them that they all helped me in this and that was not what I was doing. I apologised for the abruptness but told them that I just wanted to show some appreciation towards X, not make them feel bad.

ADVERTISEMENT

I also reminded them that I am not going anywhere anytime soon but I was glad this was over now instead of them thinking that I was angry or something after I was gone and I couldn't have clarified any of this to them.. All is well that ends well, I suppose.

Passing a family business is like navigating a tightrope over a sea of emotions. This father’s choice to leave his $30 million empire to daughter X, who risked her college fund, has sparked a family feud. X’s investment fueled the business’s success, but Z and Y, who chose financial caution, now see favoritism in a decision that seems to break their father’s promise not to hold their choices against them.

ADVERTISEMENT

Family businesses often face such conflicts, with succession disputes frequently arising from unclear expectations. The father’s announcement at a birthday dinner, meant to honor X’s risk, framed her reward as a slight against Z and Y’s pragmatism. This misstep amplified their sense of betrayal, turning a gesture of gratitude into a source of family tension.

Dr. John Davis, a Harvard family business expert, notes, “Fairness in family firms doesn’t mean equal shares; it means aligning rewards with contributions while preserving family unity.” X’s financial stake and business skills make her a logical heir, but the father’s failure to discuss the plan beforehand fueled resentment. His approach, though well-intentioned, overlooked the emotional weight of perceived exclusion.

ADVERTISEMENT

To resolve this, the father could grant X a controlling share for her investment, while allocating smaller portions to Z and Y to acknowledge their indirect contributions, like earning scholarships that freed his resources. Early, open discussions, possibly with a mediator, could align expectations. This saga underscores the need to balance gratitude with inclusivity to keep family bonds intact.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit users jumped into the fray with a mix of support and critique. Some backed the father for rewarding X’s risk, labeling Z and Y as greedy for wanting a share without investment. Others called him out for seemingly breaking his promise, especially since Z couldn’t invest after buying a house, making the decision feel punitive.

ADVERTISEMENT

The split opinions mirror the complexity of family dynamics, with some seeing X’s inheritance as fair, while others view the father’s approach as a subtle jab at his other kids. The lively debate shows how wealth and loyalty can tangle hearts and wallets.

[Reddit User] − NTA. You’re other two kids are only seeing the dollar signs right now as your business is successful.

Accomplished-Cheek59 − NTA But I think you’re looking at the financial side a bit wrong. I’m an accountant, and the way I would propose splitting the business is this: 50/50 investment between you and your daughter. She put up the capital, you put up the skill and time.

So, half of the business is already hers. That represents her initial investment. The other half is yours, and you should leave THAT half to all four of your remaining dependents - wife and three children. So your wife, Z and Y get 12.5% each. X gets the 50% she already owns and 12.5%, so 62.5% total.

ADVERTISEMENT

She has the controlling majority and everyone has been allocated the business ‘fairly’. Then sort out transferring 50% ownership to her, now. Therefore, it’s not part of an inheritance, but a return of her investment. The remaining 50% is the inheritance.

Have a contract drafted up agreeing that she is a silent partner until your death so there are no surprises. This is the fairest way, and will avoid a large chunk of inheritance tax and legal wrangling. All of your children ‘inherit’ part of your success, and your daughter gets recognition for investing in it.

ADVERTISEMENT

Edit This acknowledges the difference between inheritance and investment. It also allows for you promising not to ‘hold it against’ any of your children. Your eldest had used the college fund to buy a house and therefore simply couldn’t offer up cash. To her, she will see this as much more unfair than the child who just didn’t want the risk.

Also, put in a clause that if the business ever goes down in value (here’s hoping it won’t but you never know!), the investment amount must be settled first. E.g. If the business is worth £510k by your death - your daughter gets 502.5k and the other 7.5k is split. This makes it clear that her investment gets repaid regardless of circumstances.

ADVERTISEMENT

jacquilynne − This should never have been an issue because your daughter's college fund should have legally bought her equity in the business in the first place.

MrNjord − NTA Z and Y sound greedy and entitled. You gave everyone the opportunity to invest and told them about the risk. Only X was willing to take it. Now your other kids want the reward without ever putting in anything. Make sure to sit down with a very good lawyer to make sure your will is as ironclad as possible.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − You probably should not have told your kids that you wouldn’t hold it against them. One of your kids didn’t even have the ability to invest even if they wanted to because they bought a house. You set your kids up for disappointment by making it sound like you would be equitable when you weren’t.

While you aren’t the a**hole, neither are they because you did lie to them. These are the financial situations that tear families apart. Especially rich families. Is this how you want to live the end of your days? YTA only because you said you wouldn’t hold it against them but then you did and even gave a suck it haters speech.

ADVERTISEMENT

TheRangdoofArg − YTA because you attributed Z and Y not risking their money to 'not believing in you'. You made it personal. Also, if I have the timeline right, Z never had the chance to invest the money because she had already used it. So claiming she loses out for not believing in you is double AH-ish.

ollyator − NTA. You aren’t holding it against them. They’re still getting the same percentage of your wealth as they would otherwise. X is the only investor in your company, making her the logical heir to it. However if you want to keep the peace, you might consider giving each of the other kids 17% each.

ADVERTISEMENT

That would still give X 64% which would ensure she has the controlling interest and represent her initial investment. (Assuming initial 50/50 her investment & your sweat equity, making it 50/3 from your share - 16.66% each rounded up to 17% - plus the 50% that’s already “hers”)

Unhappy-Coffee-1917 − “I told them I wouldn’t have held it against them”. *narrator: “He held it against them*. YTA OP

ADVERTISEMENT

VoiceofConfusion − Slight YTA. You said Z had already bought a house with the money; therefore she didn’t have any money to give and yet you are punishing her.

history_buff_9971 − YTA - I agree that its your business and you can leave it where you want but YTA for what you are doing to your family. This is going to create a lot of pain after you are gone, you have your reasons and your kids aren't entitled to your money, but, you are willfully causing resentment between your children.

ADVERTISEMENT

It also sounds a lot like you are mad at the other two kids. Would it be better to perhaps split the company between your three kids BUT give X the controlling share? That reflects her early support but also doesn't cut your other two children out. Whatever happens, I think you've hurt your older children, be prepared for your relationship with them to change.

This story of risk, reward, and family friction reveals how gratitude can spark unintended grudges. The father’s apology and Skype meeting helped mend ties, showing honest dialogue can heal. Yet, balancing one child’s faith with fairness to all remains tricky. How would you navigate this tightrope of legacy and love? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep this debate alive!

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *