AITA for leaving dinner at my husband’s family’s house over a comment he made about my miscarriage?

Imagine a cozy family dinner, the clink of glasses mingling with warm chatter—until a single comment shatters the mood. For one woman, a night at her in-laws’ turned into a heart-wrenching ordeal when her husband, in front of everyone, declared her “incapable” of motherhood after a series of painful miscarriages. The sting of his words, amplified by her mother-in-law’s probing questions, left her reeling, her grief laid bare at the dinner table.

The tension didn’t stop there. Back home, her husband doubled down, dismissing her pain as overreaction and defending his “honesty.” This raw, emotional clash exposes the fragility of trust in a marriage under strain. As the woman questions her response, the story pulls us into a whirlwind of heartache, betrayal, and the search for respect in the face of loss.

‘AITA for leaving dinner at my husband’s family’s house over a comment he made about my miscarriage?’

My husband and I have been trying to have kids for 3 years. I've had a series of MCs and not a single pregnancy was successful. Our recent MC was a month ago. And although my husband never said anything (up until now) These have such trying to times for me personally, the tension and emotions are very overwhelming and I've become too sensitive even at the mention of the topic.

He took me to his family's house for dinner last night and my MC was brought up by his mom. The look of disappointment on her face made me lose my appetite completely. She went on and on about what may have caused it then my husband chimed in and said that he's starting to come to a conclusion that 'maybe I'm 'incapable' of being a mom' I was floored for two reasons.

One is that he'd even say such thing. Two is that no doctor has told me that there was something wrong with me specifically so for him to declare I was 'incapable' of bearing children and being a mom hurt like a sting. I looked at him and he was like 'what???' Then told me to not get offended since he was just being honest.

He said he loves me and thinks I'm perfect but still thinks that 'I'm flawed in that area' referring to motherhood. I had it at that point, I just got up from my seat and took my stuff and headed to the door. I said nothing just made my way out. He shouted at me but I didn't stop.

I went home and he came and started unloading on me about how immature and too sensitive and ridiculous I was being. He said he was giving his honest opinion about the matter and I have no right to police the words that come out of his mouth whether I like what I'm hearing or not it's still *the truth*.

We argued some then we stopped talking altogether. He keeps saying I exaggerated and walked during dinner and disrespected him and his family over literally nothing.. I'm unsure if I handled this the right way, or yet acted out of emotions.

Navigating miscarriage is a deeply personal journey, and public criticism can feel like a betrayal. The OP’s husband’s remark—calling her “incapable” of motherhood—was not just insensitive but baseless, as no medical evidence supported it. Dr. Jessica Zucker, a psychologist specializing in reproductive loss, notes, “Miscarriage is often misunderstood, and insensitive comments can exacerbate grief” .

The OP faced a double blow: her mother-in-law’s intrusive questions and her husband’s public judgment. About 10-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, often due to chromosomal issues unrelated to maternal health, per the Mayo Clinic . Blaming the OP reflects a lack of empathy and understanding. Her exit was a natural response to protect her emotional well-being.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dr. Zucker emphasizes validating grief over dismissing it. The husband’s defense of “honesty” ignores the need for tact, especially in a public setting. Couples facing loss benefit from open, private communication. The OP could seek counseling to process her grief and address marital strain, fostering mutual support.

For resolution, experts suggest setting boundaries with family and prioritizing emotional safety. The OP deserves a partner who uplifts, not undermines, her. Therapy or support groups can help her heal, while honest talks with her husband may clarify his intentions and rebuild trust.

ADVERTISEMENT

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit squad jumped into the fray, serving up a spicy mix of outrage and support for the OP’s dramatic exit. It’s like a potluck where everyone brought their boldest opinions to the table. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

RollingKatamari − NTA-gurl don't have kids with this man

ADVERTISEMENT

NGDGUnpunished − I am almost speechless. I am so very sorry for your loss and heartache. Before you consider another try, I think you may wish to re-evaluate whether this is the man you want to parent with forever.

His insensivity is outrageous and then he doubled down by attacking again at home behind his interpretation of 'the truth'. What a total AH. Please consider counseling for yourself - for your grief, frustration, and to determine whether you really want to continue with this abusive boor. Soooo NTA.

ADVERTISEMENT

chaosandpuppies − 1) being 'too sensitive' about miscarriages is not a thing. They're devastating. Your feelings and sadness surrounding them are valid. I am so sorry. 2) miscarriages very rarely have an identifiable cause. Most likely, the fetus was incompatible with life for some reason.

It's not anything you did or didn't do.. 3) if everyone who was 'incapable of being a mom' experienced miscarriages we wouldn't need the foster care system. 4) he doesn't think you're perfect and at this moment he considers you little more than a potential incubator and believes your value lies in your ability to carry a child to term.. You are NTA but he and his mother absolutely are.

jammy913 − NTA.. It was his opinion and it wasn't based in any medical fact. Miscarriage is a natural thing. It happens quite frequently. About 1 in 3 pregnancies end in miscarriage and it can happen for a variety of reasons. It says nothing about you and motherhood. Sometimes in nature, sperm DNA can be damaged during sperm production and transport.

ADVERTISEMENT

This damage is known as DNA fragmentation. High levels of sperm DNA fragmentation have been shown to double the likelihood of a miscarriage occurring. So maybe instead of trying to blame you, he should look in the mirror. Maybe it's his low quality sperm that's to blame, you know?

Disastrous_Ad_8561 − NTA - you have not handled it the right way. The right way is to change the locks, send him to mom and divorce him.

Ickyhouse − NTA. His comments were way out of line, then combined with the fact that he said them in front of others is an additional line that was crossed.. ​ OP, I'm sorry for your loss and struggles to have children. I'm sure the stress and emotions are immense. Know that there are many others out there with the same issues and there are support groups out there and available if you ever need. The inability to bear children in no way means you can't be a mother.

ADVERTISEMENT

whymiheretho − Genuinely, I don't believe that there's such a thing as 'too sensitive' when it comes to your own miscarriages. Seriously. You are allowed to grieve and be hurt and be mad and frustrated and whatever you need. And what your husband said wasn't '''the truth''', it was his *evil, s**tty opinion that he should have never, ever voiced aloud to you*. Nta.

Poekienijn − NTA. Please leave this man. I don’t say this lightly but someone who treats you like this doesn’t truly love you. You deserve so much better and the sooner you break off this toxic marriage the better. You can find happiness.

SatisfactionNo1753 − I’d would have told him that maybe he’s the problem, and he should consider if he’s the one who can’t be a dad and thus ruining your chances.. And honestly? F**k him and f**k his family for treating you like this.. NTA

ADVERTISEMENT

Haunting-Row-3961 − NTA. Keep on walking till you run in the opposite direction. “ you are flawed in this area?? Seriously??? He is flawed in the most important areas needed for a successful marriage- sensitivity and empathy… instead of tempering the discussion

and moving away from uncomfortable and highly inappropriate commentary by your MIL on MCs he decided to add to the discussion in the most crass way... Nope not the AH at all but husband and MIL definitely are

Redditors didn’t hold back, roasting the husband’s cruelty and urging the OP to reconsider her marriage. Some pointed to medical facts, others to emotional abuse, but all agreed her pain was valid. Do these fiery takes nail the truth, or are they fanning the flames of drama?

ADVERTISEMENT

This heart-wrenching tale underscores how words can wound, especially when trust is already fragile. The OP’s walkout was less about drama and more about self-preservation in a moment of raw pain. While Reddit cheers her on, the deeper issue—navigating loss in a marriage—demands empathy and communication. Have you ever faced a hurtful comment in a vulnerable moment? What would you do in the OP’s shoes? Share your thoughts below!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *