AITA for leaving children unattended?

The air was thick with the hum of a lazy afternoon when a 17-year-old, let’s call him Jake, found himself at the center of a family storm. Lounging at home with his 11-year-old brother and his mom’s girlfriend’s 7-year-old son, Jake thought a quick dash for lunch was no big deal. But when he returned, the driveway held an unexpected car, and the tension was palpable. The kids were fine, but the girlfriend’s glare could’ve cracked glass.

This tale of a fleeting errand gone wrong unveils a tangle of unspoken expectations in a blended family. Jake’s casual exit sparked a heated debate about responsibility, trust, and who’s really in charge when parents slip out unannounced. Readers can’t help but wonder: was Jake reckless, or was the girlfriend’s outrage misplaced? Let’s dive into this Reddit saga and unpack the drama with a sprinkle of humor and heart.

‘AITA for leaving children unattended?’

So, I (17M) was just relaxing at home with my little brother (11) and my mother’s girlfriend’s son (7). My mom and her girlfriend left the house without any warning and didn’t tell me or the two little ones where they were going.

This is pretty normal, they usually will come back with grocery’s or tell me they went to go run some errands when they get back. I had ordered lunch for pickup and when it was ready I left the two children to go grab my lunch.

I told them I’d be right back and where I was going, and also told them to call me if something went wrong and if something REALLY serious went wrong, call 911 first and not me. When I got back home with my food, the car my mom and her girlfriend took for the day was in the driveway.

I walked in the door and immediately started getting questioned by my mom’s girlfriend about why I left the kids there. My mom was fine with it, my little brother has stayed home alone for short periods of time before and it’s not a problem.

My mom’s girlfriend was upset because her son is only 7 and something really bad could’ve happened. I told her that her child isn’t my responsibility, especially when she hasn’t notified me or even asked me to watch after him while she was gone,

and that she should find a babysitter if she’s that worried about me leaving for 5 minutes. So, am I the a**hole for leaving her son alone without proper supervision or is she just being irresponsible by leaving her child with me without telling me?

ADVERTISEMENT

edit: For more info: They usually go out like this at least once a week, for about maybe 2-3 hours in the mornings and come back with groceries and everyday household items. It is something I can expect around this time of the week and I was fully aware. I knew that they were about to be back soon because it was around lunchtime

Jake’s quick lunch run turned into a family flashpoint, highlighting the tricky dynamics of blended households. When parents leave without clear communication, it’s like tossing a match into dry grass—sparks are bound to fly. Jake, at 17, faced an unfair expectation to babysit without notice, while the girlfriend’s concern for her 7-year-old reflects a valid worry about safety.

ADVERTISEMENT

The core issue here is communication, or the lack thereof. According to a 2021 study from Family Relations (Family Relations), blended families often struggle with unclear roles, leading to tension. Jake’s mom and her girlfriend didn’t clarify expectations, leaving Jake to assume the kids were fine for a brief moment. The girlfriend’s reaction, while intense, stems from a protective instinct—7-year-olds lack the judgment to handle emergencies alone.

Dr. Patricia Papernow, a renowned expert on stepfamily dynamics, notes, “Clear agreements about roles and responsibilities are the backbone of successful blended families” (Stepfamily Dynamics). In Jake’s case, the adults’ failure to communicate left him in a no-win situation. He wasn’t wrong to prioritize his errand, but leaving two young kids, even briefly, carries risks—fires, injuries, or panic can escalate quickly.

ADVERTISEMENT

The broader issue is about setting boundaries in blended families. Parents must explicitly assign caregiving roles, especially with minors involved. Jake could’ve double-checked before leaving, but the adults bear the primary responsibility. To navigate this, families should establish clear protocols—like a quick text or verbal agreement—before anyone steps out. Jake’s story reminds us that assumptions can ignite conflicts, but open dialogue can douse the flames.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit crew jumped into Jake’s story with gusto, serving up a mix of cheers and side-eyes. It’s like a virtual potluck where everyone brought a spicy opinion. Here’s what the community had to say, raw and unfiltered:

RTJ333 − NTA. Just like you said, if she expected you to be in charge of her kid she probably should have asked you to do so.

JMLKO − NTA 11 is old enough to watch a 7 year old for a short period of time. Also, not your kid, not your responsibility, especially if she didn't ask.

ADVERTISEMENT

imabanddork − NTA. She never asked you, she just assumed. That is her AH move. You were actually pretty responsible for telling them you were leaving for a short time and to call 911. Plus an 11 year old can watch a 7 year old for a short time frame.

[Reddit User] − Ok, uh, NTA, but you made an understandable mistake. Like, as a 17 year old I'm sure you're aware that kids 11 and under make terrible choices simply because they lack life experience. You knew there were no adults in the house and left anyway, which is pretty dumb. But not AHish. But the BIG problem is the parents who leave without telling anyone!

What the hell? That's terrible, and if they expect you to babysit they need to say that, with their grown up voices, out loud, to you! They can't just disappear and expect you to pick up the slack. What if you didn't even know they were gone, so you left to hang with friends? They are Absolutely the ones in the wrong.

ADVERTISEMENT

aidennqueen − NTA,. Jeez, people really think at 11 and 7 kids have to be under constant surveillance? We were out in the woods and told to be home at sundown, nothing ever happened.

PineappleIsMyKiller − ESH - you left your little brother alone with a 7 year old. Your mom should have asked you before leaving which makes her an AH. But you knew that you were there alone with the kids and instead of being the bigger person, you left and put them in danger.

Also I’m going to be downvoted for this but a lot of the people saying NTA in the comments are very stupid. “You were only gone for 5 minutes.” A lot can happen in 5 minutes. Edit: I just want to make this very clear since many people are commenting on my comment saying “wHeN I wAS 6 yEaRs oLD I wAs hOmE aLonE.”

ADVERTISEMENT

It actually does not matter what your life was like. The girlfriend doesn’t feel comfortable with an 11 year old watching her 7 year old and quite frankly I wouldn’t either. Also don’t come at me saying “Well if she cared so much she shouldn’t have just left.”

What if OP’s mother told the girlfriend that she asked OP to watch the kids (even if she really didn’t)? That could be what happened, but a lot of you do not give a s**t because you apparently knew how to care for yourself the second you came out of the womb.

catuprisingsoon − NTA. I saw a comment on a post the other day that said something like ’you look someone directly in their eyes when you ask them to watch your kids’. If she’s so concerned, she should have checked with you

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA if she’s going to leave unannounced and not ask for you to watch them, then she can’t pin that on you

MonarchistExtreme − NTA...though it's less common these days, it's good for kids to be left alone for short periods of time. It builds independence and as long as they aren't giving you a reason to distrust them it just builds character.

We started leaving our son alone for 20 to 30 minute trips to the store around that age and he did just fine. Explain the rules, show them where food and drink is, leave instruction...good to go.

ADVERTISEMENT

Spectrum2081 − NTA. Either the 7 year old is too young to be left unattended for even a few minutes, so the mom should find a sitter before leaving the house and not assume a 17 year old will keep a close eye. Or the 7 year old is old enough to be left alone for a few minutes so she can take off without explicitly talking to you first.. She can't have it both ways and, either way, she's TA.

These Redditors rallied behind Jake, slamming the adults’ lack of communication, though some raised eyebrows at leaving a 7-year-old with an 11-year-old. Their takes are fiery, but do they capture the full picture, or are they just stoking the drama?

Jake’s tale is a classic blend of good intentions and crossed wires, showing how quickly assumptions can spark family friction. In blended households, clear communication isn’t just nice—it’s essential. Jake wasn’t wrong to grab his lunch, but the adults’ silence set the stage for chaos. This story invites us to reflect on trust, responsibility, and the art of speaking up. What would you do if you were in Jake’s shoes, caught between a quick errand and unexpected babysitting duties? Share your thoughts below!

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *