AITA For Leaving a Vacation I Planned for my GF After Her Friends Came Along?

The crisp Colorado air and the thrill of snowy slopes promised a dream anniversary getaway for a couple of five years. He spent months crafting the perfect trip for his girlfriend, Sarah, with a secret plan to propose under the stars. But days before takeoff, Sarah’s bombshell—two friends were joining them—shattered his vision of a romantic escape. Despite his protests, the friends arrived, and Sarah’s attention drifted, leaving him sidelined on his own trip.

Three days in, fed up and far from the intimate moments he’d envisioned, he packed up and headed home. Sarah and her friends called him a jerk for “ruining” the vibe, but he felt betrayed by her disregard. Was his exit a stand for respect or a selfish meltdown? Let’s carve through this icy tale of love, loyalty, and crashed plans.

‘AITA For Leaving a Vacation I Planned for my GF After Her Friends Came Along?’

A romantic trip turned into a group hangout, pushing one man to his limit. Here’s his story, straight from Reddit:

My GF (Sarah, 29) and I (M, 28) have been dating for 5 years, and I wanted to go on a vacation with her to celebrate. I planned the trip for several months (of course I shared my plans with her), and decided on skiing/snowboarding/other winter activities in CO. The activities seemed perfect, and I was looking forward to this for months because I wanted to propose to her at the end of the trip.

5 days before the trip, Sarah dropped the ball on me that she invited 2 of her friends to meet her there. I was upset because I wanted to spend 1:1 time with Sarah for our anniversary. I feel like it was plain and clear that this was a trip for just us. Even though I expressed my concerns, Sarah insisted that her friends already made plans to come and won't back out.

I decided to accept this because there was no way for me to force her friends to not come (I wish I fought more on this). I figured we could make some changes to our plans, and I would still be able to propose to her privately. Sarah essentially blew me off for her friends and we didn't get any private time.

After 3 days of being in second place, I decided to leave the trip and head home. I told Sarah why I was leaving, and she was upset. She told her friends about my decision, and I was ganged up on. They said we were all having a great time. She thinks I'm being a jerk for making her pick between her friends and me (even though her friends weren't invited in the first place).

I never had personal issues with her friends prior to this trip. I never made Sarah pick between me or her friends because everyone needs friends outside of a relationship. I'm at home now and thinking about everything. I have a day to myself before Sarah comes home, so at least I get to relax a bit.

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Sarah and her friends think I'm overreacting and think I ruined the trip. I think Sarah was disrespectful and rude to me by ruining the purpose of this trip and having her friends gang up on me.. AITA For Leaving a Vacation I Planned for my GF After Her Friends Came Along?

EDIT: This was a planned anniversary/romantic trip. I was clear that we have plans for just us two. We've been on other anniversary trips together without her friends there. We did discuss marriage beforehand, so it's not like a proposal wouldn't been out of the blue.

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MINOR UPDATE: My friends are here at the house and they have been running potential interference, just in case her friends try to bombard and harass me. They've been great and I'm so glad to have them!

MINOR UPDATE 2: None of Sarah's friends came by the house or harassed me yesterday/last night, which is good! Sarah hasn't come home yet. I figured out what I want to say and have it written out.

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A meticulously planned anniversary trip skidded off course when Sarah’s uninvited friends stole the spotlight. Her last-minute invite, sprung five days before departure, ignored her boyfriend’s clear intent for a couple’s retreat, undermining his efforts and secret proposal. Her dismissal of his need for alone time and the group’s ganging up amplified the disrespect, justifying his exit as a boundary enforcement. Sarah’s claim of a “great time” erased his feelings, signaling a deeper communication rift.

Relationships hinge on mutual respect. A 2023 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found 67% of couples cite poor communication as a breakup factor (Source). Sarah’s unilateral decision breached trust.

Couples therapist Dr. Esther Perel says, “Respecting a partner’s intentions strengthens intimacy” (Source). Sarah could’ve consulted him before inviting friends, while he might’ve negotiated private moments early on. They need a candid talk about boundaries and priorities. He should reflect on proposing until trust is rebuilt.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s shredding this snowy drama, backing the man’s exit and raising red flags about Sarah’s actions. Here’s the community’s vibe:

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[Reddit User] − NTA You sure you still wanna propose?

Frumpy_little_noodle − So let me get this straight.. 1. You spent months planning a vacation for the two of you.. 2. You paid for said vacation?. 3. She invited her friends and didn't tell you until it was too late for them to cancel.

4. You made requests for alone time and she rebuffed those efforts to hang out as a group with her friends.. Buddy... she found the ring and knew your plan for the weekend.. NTA.. Might want to consider planning for a different future.

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pixp85 − Info: Is it possible she knew you were going to propose and did this intentionally to avoid it?

Primary-Space − NTA. Several red flags here:. 1. She invited her friends to come on the trip without talking to you well in advance. 2. She also refused to tell her friends that they couldn't come and told you that 'they couldn't change plans' which is total b**lshit. 3. She and her friends ganged up on you to make you feel like a jerk when you decided to head home early.

May want to reconsider proposing to her. Do you really want to marry someone who will mess up travel plans and possibly other activities just because she wanted to without taking into account how you feel about the whole thing?

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ed_lv − NTA, and I am sorry to say this but your relationship is pretty much dead. This was such an a**hole move by your gf, and there is no way I would ever be able to get over it.

disindiantho − NTA and I’m sure my comment will get lost in this sea of feedback but still I hope this reaches you somehow and helps you see things in a different perspective. My SO (29M) & I (29F) have also been dating for 5+ years and recently engaged.

I’m in no way trying to tell you or imply how our relationship functions is superior nor can judge your whole relationship based on one post - however I would like to tell you how I would typically react/ have reacted/acted in similar situations that worked out.

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- When my SO asks me to a trip (whether or not intended for just us) if I wanted to invite anyone else - I would always no doubt clear it with him BEFORE I even ask them. I would first ask him if he just wanted us or is it okay to extend? To me relationships are about mutual respect and this is the just a benchmark of respect. He invited me and I would do this even if he was just a friend.

I do not want to rant further about how you invited her to this trip ( regardless of her friends coming) and you left due to her actions and she just stood by/ ganged up on you? Then blamed you.. as a group..without reaching out to you personally Reflect hard on if this is the support system you need or can afford moving forward. Mutual respect is honestly everything.

stroppo − NTA at all. I'd have been upset too. You planned this for the two of you, and she didn't even ask if her friends could come, she told you they were coming.. Good for you for leaving early. If you weren't having a good time, why shouldn't you leave?. And rethink that proposal.

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ndcollector − 'They said we were all having a great time.' No - clearly 'we all' weren't. NTA. What she didn't know isn't relevant. What she did know was (1) it was a trip to celebrate your 5 year anniversary.

And (2) that you were apprehensive about her friends coming with after you found out. She waited until 5 days before the trip to tell you for a reason. She thinks it makes you the a**hole if you put your foot down because it was 'too late' for them to not come.

Patrickosplayhouse − NTA. IF y'all are still speaking, when she comes back from the trip:. 1. You didn't ruin her good time.. 2. you didn't embarrass HER, in front of her friends. Seems if she's as serious about relationship as you are, she should be able to understand your position.

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bengallover16 − NTA - who invites their friends on a 5 year anniversary trip with their partner??? It's irrelevant that she didn't know you had plans to propose.

These Reddit runs are sharp, but do they hit the slope’s core? Was his departure a justified carve or an overblown crash?

This saga of a snowbound anniversary gone wrong spins a tale of romance buried under uninvited guests. His early exit sparked a firestorm, but was it a stand for love or a hasty retreat? Should he rethink the ring or fight for their future? If your partner derailed your dream trip, how’d you steer it back? Drop your thoughts and let’s thaw this frosty fallout!

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