AITA for laughing when my ex’s wife complained to me?

The air was thick with unspoken grudges at a school award ceremony, where a single laugh cut through the tension like a knife through butter. Five years after a messy divorce sparked by infidelity, a woman found herself face-to-face with her ex-husband’s new wife, who had the audacity to seek sympathy. The ex’s parents, still loyal to the original family, snubbed the new wife and her kids, leaving her reeling. The woman’s chuckle at this complaint stirred a storm, raising questions about civility, loyalty, and the lingering scars of betrayal.

This tale of tangled family ties and unhealed wounds pulls readers into a relatable saga of navigating co-parenting and past betrayals. With emotions running high, the story captures the messy beauty of human connections, making us wonder: was her laughter a justified jab or a step too far?

‘AITA for laughing when my ex’s wife complained to me?’

Ex cheated on me with his current wife. That was 5 years ago. Ex and I share three sons who are 11, 10 and 8. Ex's wife has a daughter and a son with her ex, who she also cheated on with my ex. The two of them have said it all. From it was meant to be, to how great it is because the kids all have a bigger and happier family, blah blah blah.

I am over it in some ways. There is very much a sting that the affair partner in my marriage gets to call herself my kids stepmom. But I'm not at all sorry that my ex is gone. The man slept with her behind my back for 18 months before her husband and I found out. I am civil when the kids are around, I ignore them when the kids aren't around.

This whole thing happened over ex's parents. They were disgusted with him for cheating. MIL told him that he destroyed his kids foundation. That leaving a spouse is never easy and divorce is hard for kids anyway but when you add conflict in the way of cheating, you take something from a child that they can rarely ever get back,

and that's parents who can still care about each other and want the best for each other despite not being together. They stayed very close with me and haven't welcomed ex's wife at all. Nor have they been involved with ex's life since really, or his stepkids. It bothers her a lot.

My youngest son won an award in school a couple of weeks ago. Ex and his wife were there. So was I. Ex's wife ended up coming up to complain to me because both mine and ex's parents showed up briefly, spoke to my son, then to me and left. She was saying how unfair it is.

How her kids don't understand why ex's family have nothing to do with them and why they never see them but they know my kids have a relationship. She said ex's family love me, it hurts her feelings to feel not good enough. I'll be honest. I rolled my eyes first but then I laughed because she seemed to expect sympathy or help from me.

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Laughing at her pissed her off. I have heard from her and my ex since that I was rude, I should care about the kids at least, and I am not thinking of my kids when I keep bad blood between us and laugh at her suffering. One part of me doesn't care and believes I'm fine once my kids couldn't see it. Another part of me wonders if I was an a**hole to laugh at her.. AITA?

This story of laughter in the face of an ex’s wife’s complaints is a classic case of emotions colliding in a blended family. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Conflict in families often stems from unaddressed emotional wounds, especially when trust has been broken” (The Gottman Institute). Here, the OP’s laugh reflects a mix of disbelief and lingering hurt from her ex’s affair, while the new wife’s complaint reveals her struggle for acceptance.

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The OP faces a tricky situation: her ex’s wife expects empathy despite their painful history. The grandparents’ choice to stay close to the OP and her kids, while shunning the new wife, underscores a loyalty rooted in the betrayal they witnessed. This dynamic highlights a broader issue—blended families often grapple with divided loyalties. A 2020 study from the Journal of Family Issues found that 60% of blended families face challenges with extended family acceptance, often due to past conflicts (Journal of Family Issues).

The new wife’s plea for fairness ignores her role in the affair, which likely fuels the OP’s dismissive reaction. While laughing might seem harsh, it’s a human response to an absurd expectation. Dr. Gottman’s research suggests open communication can ease tensions, but only if both parties acknowledge past wrongs. For the OP, staying civil for her kids’ sake is enough; she’s not obligated to mend the new wife’s relationships.

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For readers navigating similar dramas, focus on clear boundaries and prioritize the kids’ well-being. Therapy or mediation can help, as suggested by family experts at Psychology Today (Psychology Today). The OP’s laughter was a moment of honesty, not cruelty—her kids didn’t see it, and she owes no emotional labor to her ex’s wife.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade for the OP’s chuckle. Their takes range from fist-bumping her restraint to roasting the new wife’s nerve. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

bacardiwynn − NTA-so like she ruins your marriage (I know he did as well), but wants you to how help her out. The nerve and she’s lucky you just laughed. Proud of you for not saying what you really wanted to say after all this time. NTA

Castle_of_Aaaaaaargh − NTA. Your in-laws sound like great people. They know who the mother of their grand children is and have never given up on you. The ex's new wife is just upset that there are consequences for their actions and wants everyone to forget that she and your ex both tore apart their respective families and tried to patchwork their own 'big' family.

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If you're civil in front of the kids like you say, then I am fully onboard with you reaction. She and her kids already have 2 sets of grandparents outside of your in-laws, she just doesn't want the guilt of doing any wrong.

Tangerine_Bouquet − Her: 'My kids don't understand why...'. You: 'But you do.' NTA at all. People have to live with the consequences of their choices, and when they hurt others, they don't get a free pass.

Was it 'fair' of them to carry on an affair that blew up two marriages and caused so much pain to children? What's 'unfair' about judging hurtfulness? How polite were they to you, if it's 'rude' of you to laugh at her utter cluelessness?

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Mind you, I support people openly and honestly leaving a relationship that isn't working, and it's good that you work at co-parenting. But affairs are layers of lies that deserve the cold shoulder at the very least. And, yes, an eyeroll and laughter when they expect better from everyone else.

splbm − This is what I see:. * Two marriages went down the drain. * Kids on all sides went through hell and back. * All of this = a shitshow for a lack of better term. Your Ex's wife thinks this is all unfair? Well maybe she should realize that she is apart of the problem. I would be laughing at her bs too.. **NTA**

jellydotty − NTA. This had me laughing too.

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Panaccolade − NTA. What did she think was going to happen? That your ex's parents would be happy, knowing that he's a cheat and so is she? It's unfortunate that her feelings are getting hurt,

but it's not exactly surprising that they wouldn't want anything to do with her. The ones I have actual sympathy for are her children because they're suffering on account of their mother's poor decisions but that's not your problem.

ColdSeason2019 − NTA- be petty, sleep with the ex’s wife’s ex husband 😭🤣

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ImagineSnapDragons − NTA. She brought this on herself. They both did. Actions have consequences, and one of theirs is not everyone has to accept their relationship. He may have divorced you, but his parents didn’t. They clearly still consider you very much a part of their family.

And one thing I know for certain is no one can dictate who we consider our chosen family. In my experience, chosen family bonds are so much stronger than blood bonds. And I think that’s what the new wife’s issue is with the whole situation.

Your ex chose her, and that’s it. She probably assumed his parents would come around eventually. She is their son’s wife. So when they not only rejected her, but ultimately their son, in favor of you, that r**ection hurt deeply. I mean, she’s clearly not used to hearing no or not getting her way.

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She got your ex to leave you for her, after all. If only his troublesome parents would just get on board. Oh well. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.. Tell her she can bond with her next husband’s parents /s

Wonderful_Horror7315 − NTA I still relish the day my ex’s side piece called me crying because he cheated on her. Like I would care? Or be surprised with her? I laughed and laughed. Still laughing. NEVER STOP LAUGHING, OP.

lkvwfurry − NTA. She reeps what she sows

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These Redditors rallied behind the OP, cheering her for keeping it real while questioning the new wife’s expectations. Some saw the grandparents’ loyalty as a natural consequence of the affair, while others urged empathy for the kids caught in the crossfire. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just adding fuel to the family feud?

This saga of laughter and loyalty shows how past betrayals can ripple through families, leaving everyone to navigate a minefield of emotions. The OP’s chuckle was a raw, human moment—maybe not polite, but understandable given the history. Blended families are tough, and this story reminds us that healing takes time and boundaries. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep the conversation going!

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