AITA for laughing in my husbands face?

A shiny new Audi parked in the driveway became the unlikely spark for a marital showdown. Picture a woman, fresh from grad school struggles to a high-flying CRNA career, showing off her dream car to her husband. His joy turned sour when he learned she paid cash—and then he dropped a bombshell: let’s void our prenup. Her laughter rang out, but it ignited a firestorm of name-calling and family drama.

This Reddit tale dives into the murky waters of money and marriage, where trust and motives collide. Was her laughter a justified jab, or did it cross a line?

‘AITA for laughing in my husbands face?’

So I F(32) have been married to my husband M(34) for 6 years. Before we got married he had me sign a prenup stating that our financials would always be separate and the only thing we would share was an expense account to pay for household related fees.

The reason for this was because he was making pretty good money and I was in graduate school so my financial situation was pretty bad but I signed nonetheless because I understood he wanted to protect himself. Anyway fast forward to now, I’ve been out of school for about 4 years and I make more than 3 times as much as he does. (I never asked how much he makes and he’s never asked me either).

Anyway 2 weeks ago I told him that I was thinking about buying a new car as one I had, was really old since I had had it since my undergraduate days. He wasn’t really interested and just told me to get whatever I liked. So a week ago I decided to make the plunge and get an Audi, I was pretty excited as I had always wanted one….

(at the time my husband was on a business trip, he got back yesterday) and I showed him my car…he was really happy for me, however later he asked me what my monthly payments were as the Audi was pretty new…at this point I told him that I had made the purchase in cash and that I had no monthly payments.

He was taken back and asked with what money and I answered that I made more than enough money to be able to afford it. He didn’t talk after that and I thought that was that………however after a few hours he came back to me and told that he thinks we should void the prenup……

This is where I might be the a**hole I laughed in his face and asked him why I would agree to that and his answer was that we’re married and should share our financials. So I told him that we’ve been married for 6 years and yet we’ve never shared financials and I was fine with what we were doing, and his sudden change of heart was very suspicious.

He called me a bunch of names and stormed out and didn’t come home and and I guess he told his family about our fight and they called to berate me and say how he supported me while I was in school (he didn’t) and now am wondering if I was the a**hole??

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Edit: I knew his salary when we got together, however he’s since gotten promoted and at first when I used to ask he would make comments that it was rude of me to ask how much he made so I stopped…he’s never really been interested in my career or job and we don’t bring our work home…. The reason I make 3x what he makes (I made the assumption from what I knew his salary had been) is because I work as a CRNA and he works as a software engineer.

Edit 2: I didn’t expect so many comments, thanks everyone for sharing your opinions….This post has really made me question everything in my life, I think am going to take a leave of absence from my work to sort out my life…..

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My husband was only my second relationship and I guess I was too caught up in school, work and debt to really see that my marriage was a sham….am not blameless which is hard to swallow, so I am going to have conversation with my husband and see where we go from here if anywhere.

Last Edit: Since it’s been a point of contention am gonna clear up a few things….I make 175 an hour and work between 40 to 48 hours a week…..from what I know he made about 90k when we got together am sure it higher now(he also works less hours)…

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we live in a state that is not expensive so my monthly contribution is about 1000-1200 a month….he had some property in NE so he wanted to protect that and I had debt from school (he did too but mine was bigger).

This car-buying saga exposes a raw nerve in relationships: money and trust. The husband’s push for a prenup when he was the breadwinner was pragmatic, but his sudden urge to void it when she outearned him reeks of opportunism. Her laughter, while sharp, reflects disbelief at his flip-flop.

Marriage counselor Dr. John Gottman notes, “Financial disagreements are a top predictor of divorce when trust erodes” (The Gottman Institute, 2023). A 2022 Journal of Family Psychology study found 74% of couples with unequal earnings face tension over financial transparency. Here, the husband’s secrecy and reaction suggest self-interest over partnership.

This reflects a broader issue: fairness in marital finances. Experts recommend open dialogue—sharing earnings and goals—to build trust. If voiding the prenup is considered, both parties should renegotiate transparently with legal counsel.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit served up spicy takes with a side of skepticism. Here’s the community’s vibe:

[Reddit User] - NTA not gonna lie, you two don’t sound like partners. you sound like you’re against each other in life. take this change of heart as the red flag that it is and consider how you want to proceed.

Icy_Mistake__ - So he wanted the prenup initially to protect his money because you didn’t have much, and now you have more money he wants to void the prenup so he can have more of your money?. Hmm.. No wonder you laughed in his face.. NTA.

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BentBent12 - NTA. I would have laughed too. But I find it very strange you both have no knowledge of the others finances.. He wanted the prenup and he got it. Don’t back down.

Janetaz18 - NTA. Interesting how things change once he figures out that you made more money than him. I think your hubby just met Karma. Serves him right. Don’t let anyone guilt you. I would suggest some marriage counseling because I’m not sure your marriage can survive his ego.

[Reddit User] - NTA. I would have laughed too. Now that it is no longer to HIS benefit, of COURSE, he wants to void the prenup.. Haven't you figured out that what is his is his and he considers what is yours is his? As long as HIS financials were protected, the prenup was fine. Now that he sees you as a cash cow, he wants to void the prenup. You have every RIGHT to be suspicious because....reread what I wrote.

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BTW, it is NONE of his family's business. It always astounds me how the family gets involved when it is NOT THEIR FIGHT! And obviously, they don't have the full story (he did NOT support you while you were in school). It was nice while it lasted but, now that you are making so much more money, this marriage is over.

surfaholic15 - NTA. prenup is prenup. No point in changing the rules after the fact, especially if the rules might change to your detriment. Of course you can redo the prenup. If *both of you* bring all assets to the table, and negotiate a deal fair to both parties. But I suspect that wouldn't be the case...

[Reddit User] - There has to be more to this story. After 6 years of marriage neither of you has any idea of the others financial situation? Both seem very well off so maybe money is never a concern but what happens if you or he lost your jobs and couldn’t afford the lifestyle you’ve grown accustomed to? Sounds like a business relationship more than a marriage.

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midian42 - 100% NTA. Now that he knows you make enough money to pay cash for an Audi, he wants in on that action. No. Don't do it. And don't let his family do it. He was perfectly happy with the financial situation prior to this. Suddenly he's not, and he's calling you names, walking out on you, and getting his family involved? All because he found out you can buy a car with cash?. Nope. What happened to his love? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SadderOlderWiser - NTA - sounds like an ex of mine that wanted to split expenses proportionately (since I made rather more than he did) which was fine for many months… right up until I was laid off and we hit a month where he had to pay more and then he wanted to go 50-50. Sorry your husband’s greed is showing (not that the terms of that prenup didn’t make his selfish approach to your marriage rather clear.)

Acceptable_Banana_13 - NTA - he thought he was being slick with the prenup. And he thought all this time that he was making more than you. Now you’ve burst his bubble. He’s TA here not you. But now watch him try to penny pinch everything you do together. If you want to go out, you’re paying.

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If you buy a new oven, he’ll want more than half because “he doesn’t cook” or if you go on a trip, he’ll keep score of everything he paid for and ask you to Venmo him. I dont know how you’re married to someone like this, but tell him what you make is none of his business.

You contribute your half just as you always have. You’re not an a**hole for making good money and for not sharing it. If it was the other way around, he made you sign a legal document that he wouldn’t share it with you. Don’t let his s**tty financial situation f**k you both up. Even if he’s fine with money, he will think this means he has more money. And he doesn’t. You do.

These Reddit zingers call out the husband’s motives, but is laughter the best response? Should she have talked it out instead?

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This woman’s laugh was a gut reaction to a suspicious request, spotlighting the delicate dance of money and trust in marriage. It’s a wake-up call to question motives when rules suddenly shift. Have you faced a partner’s unexpected financial flip? How did you handle it? Share your stories below—let’s keep this convo rolling!

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