AITA for laughing at and calling my ex a d**bass when he asked me to pay to cover up a tattoo he got for me?

Family, friends, and past relationships often leave us with hilarious scars and memorable moments. In this update, the OP reveals a twisty tale of tattoos and broken promises—one where an ex-boyfriend’s impulsive decision lands him in a sticky situation. He got an intricate tattoo featuring the OP’s name, literary quotes, and even his favorite animal without permission, setting the stage for an unexpected drama that unfolds after their breakup.

Now, months later, with fresh independence and a better job in a new city, the OP recounts how the ex unexpectedly reached out to ask for money to cover up his regrettable tattoo. Finding the request absurd and his behavior even more so, she didn’t hesitate to laugh it off, call him out, and block him for good. This update not only delivers a slice of modern relationship irony but also highlights the importance of owning one’s decisions—especially when they end up costing more than pride.

‘AITA for laughing at and calling my ex a d**bass when he asked me to pay to cover up a tattoo he got for me?’

My ex boyfriend got an intricate tattoo on his right forearm. It is my name in Galifreyan with a Lord of the Rings quote around it in Sindarin, and lastly a Haida style orca in the center. My name, my favorite books, my favorite show, and my favorite animal.

I did not ask him to get the tattoo, in fact I told him not to get my name on him anywhere. He made his own choice.. We broke up about two months after he got it. I got a better job in a different city. It's been about six months and I guess his current girlfriend took a picture of the tattoo and took the time to interpret it.

She hates it and because he is a pushover he wants to cover it up. He messaged me and said I should pay for half of the cover up tattoo. I laughed and called him a d**bass. I said that he chose to get the tattoo all on his own and that I didn't owe him anything. I blocked him.. We have mutual friends and a couple think I should help him out since my new job pays well.

Expressing our emotions when past relationships resurface in unexpected ways is a delicate art. In this case, the OP’s response to her ex’s tattoo debacle serves as a reminder of the importance of boundaries in our personal lives. Family and relationship expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula often stresses that personal accountability in relationships is crucial. “When choices backfire, owning them and accepting the consequences can prevent unnecessary financial and emotional burden,” she explains (Source: ).

The decision to get a tattoo is a permanent one, yet it often carries repercussions beyond the physical ink. The OP’s ex independently chose to adorn his body with elements of someone else’s identity—even after being cautioned. Experts highlight that in relationships, decisions like these stem from emotional impulsivity rather than rational thought. Establishing clear limits, as the OP did by refusing to contribute, demonstrates the power of healthy self-respect. It reinforces that one should not be held liable for someone else’s rash actions.

Moreover, psychological studies underline the need to separate personal identity from that of former partners. In cases where one person’s actions intrude on another’s sense of self, an assertive response is not only justified but necessary. The OP’s reaction—laughing at and calling him a “d**bass”—illustrates a moment of clarity where self-preservation takes center stage. This approach aligns with modern therapeutic advice that encourages individuals to detach from toxic reminders of past relationships.

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Finally, practical self-care in such scenarios involves recognizing that financial responsibility for personal mistakes must remain with the originator. The OP’s stance echoes a common sentiment among relationship counselors: one’s financial well-being should never be compromised by another’s impulsive behavior. By firmly rejecting the idea of funding an ex’s attempt to rewrite his tattoo history, she models effective boundary-setting—a lesson in both self-respect and emotional independence that resonates widely in today’s dynamic interpersonal landscape.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Here are some blunt yet supportive reactions from the Reddit community—mixing humor with hard truths about personal responsibility. Fellow users immediately echoed “NTA” (Not The A**hole), applauding her decisiveness.

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They remarked that the ex made his choices alone and that any financial remedy should come from him, not from someone he wronged. One comment even joked about pooling funds among mutual friends if they felt as strongly about the cover-up request, while others cynically suggested that his current girlfriend could chip in instead.

tinyd71 − Let's see if those friends are willing to put their money where their mouths are, and chip in for the tattoo coverup/removal! Or perhaps the new girlfriend might want to contribute? It sounds like you had a lucky (or well planned) escape from that particular man...don't look back (not even for a last glimpse of that tattoo!), and certainly don't send him money.. NTA (and I'm still baffled about how this could possibly be *your* responsibility!)

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AforAuPair − NTA. What does the fact that you have a new job have to do with it? If you didn't get a new job would it have still be requested of you to contribute? Sure maybe it was a reason for you breaking up but that doesn't mean you owe him. I may be tempted to though in a

Euphoric_Travel2541 − NTA. He chose to get this tattoo, he chose the design elements, and he can choose to change it now. All his own decisions and choices. You don’t owe him anything, and it’s absurd to try to hold you accountable financially for covering it up.

Ok_Conversation9750 − NTA. If he and his new gf are so distraught about the tattoo *that he himself chose and got put on his body*, they can pool their own funds to cover it with *her* name...then his next gf can insist he cover it, then his gf after that..... ;)

Aggrofant − NTA. It wasn't your fault. It was his own decision to get that tattoo. Besides that, in my opinion it's a stupid idea to get a tattoo maybe with their significant other's name or other things related to their significant other, because you'll never know... Some day it all can be over and then there's still the tattoo.

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Regular_throwaway_83 − NTA. You didn't ask him to get it, you even told him not to. His problem is not yours

TemptingPenguin369 − NTA. Your mutual friends are free to take up a collection to pay for his tattoo removal if they feel so strongly about it.

ReviewOk929 − We have mutual friends and a couple think I should help him out since my new job pays well. NTA He got it on his own dime and initiative. They are welcome to pay for the cover on their dime and initiative. The fact you earn good money is irrelevant...

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Irvitol − NTA. This dude is hella delulu

[Reddit User] − NTA. Any “mutual friends” telling you to give him money for his stupidity are not your friends they are his friends.

In conclusion, this update offers a refreshing take on dealing with the fallout of past relationships by firmly owning one’s choices and refusing to be burdened by another’s mistakes. The OP’s response demonstrates that when decisions are made impulsively—like getting a tattoo without consent—the financial and emotional costs should remain solely with the individual who made them.

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This narrative not only pokes fun at the absurdity of the situation but also invites us to consider the boundaries we set in our interpersonal relationships. What would you do if you were asked to finance someone’s misguided decisions from your past?

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