AITA for laughing at a guy who kept trying to one up my (long dead) theatre career?

Picture a cozy FaceTime call, where old friends swap stories under the glow of laptop screens. A woman, once a young Broadway starlet, now thrives as a museum archivist, her theatre days a distant memory. But when her friend’s new boyfriend, an aspiring actor, joins the chat, he can’t resist flexing his off-Broadway credentials, trying to outshine her faded spotlight.

This Reddit tale captures a quirky clash of egos, where a playful chuckle at his one-upping sparks unexpected drama. Having left the stage at 12, the woman faces a question: was her light-hearted jab too sharp for a guy wrestling with his own insecurities? Let’s dive into this theatrical showdown and explore what it reveals about pride and past promises.

‘AITA for laughing at a guy who kept trying to one up my (long dead) theatre career?’

I (F26) was in a handful of broadway musicals from ages 7-12. Two of these roles weren’t starring, but pretty close too it. However, all you’ll find of me on google are pictures of me at those ages, you wouldn’t know me or what I’m up too now unless you did some severe stalker level stuff, and that’s how I want it!

I became self conscious and uncomfortable in the business when I was 12 and my parents are actual saints, so they let me choose what I wanted. I am now very happy as an archivist in a museum and am going for my PhD soon! I still love theatre and the like, but I am much happier watching and singing the soundtrack later in the shower.

So, my wife and I have a dear friend named Abby who we spent a lot of time with pre lock down, and now spend a lot of time with on FaceTime and zoom. Abby has started seeing Jim (all fake names) who is in the entertainment industry. Jim has been on a few FaceTimes with Abby.

When I told Jim about my background he became sort of...jealous? Telling me “Oh you were just in the chorus, well I’ve had this this and this role on an off broadway and they were all featured!” Which, good for him! I wish him nothing but success in his career. My wife agreed he was being weird but we just figured whatever.

Well, yesterday on FaceTime Jim once again told me about how it’s awful Broadway is shut down (which I agree, I feel terrible for everyone out of work) and that he couldn’t wait to get back to work. I told him I hoped he would be back soon. He then said “yeah; I know you wouldn’t get it because you were just in the background but this is my life blood”.

I couldn’t help it and chuckled a bit and kinda teasingly said “Jim are you trying to compete with my ended over a decade ago theatre career?” He didn’t respond to that. Abby later texted us and told me I embarrassed Jim. I wasn’t intending to do that, it’s just that I have almost zero connections to Broadway or theatre anymore, and he doesn’t need to one up me .. AITA for what I said?

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This FaceTime fiasco unveils the subtle sting of insecurity in social circles. Jim’s need to one-up a woman’s long-abandoned Broadway past suggests a bruised ego, while her playful chuckle was a gentle nudge to keep things real. Both are valid, but Jim’s persistence veered into awkward territory.

Psychologist Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, in a Psychology Today article, notes, “Insecure individuals often compensate by exaggerating their achievements to feel validated.” Jim’s boasts about off-Broadway roles, while downplaying her Broadway experience, scream of this need. Her teasing response, though light, hit a nerve, exposing his fragile confidence.

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This dynamic isn’t rare: a 2019 study found 62% of people in competitive fields like entertainment struggle with imposter syndrome, fueling such one-upping. Jim’s behavior likely stems from career pressures, but it’s unfair to target her. She could’ve deflected earlier, but her chuckle was harmless. Next time, a kind redirect might ease tension.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit lit up like a marquee with this one—think a virtual theater buzzing with quips! Most cheered the woman, calling Jim’s ego trip a self-own, while a few noted his insecurity.

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Mera1506 − NTA, he embarrassed himself. He's the one that keeps bringing it up to begin with. Then keeps comparing himself to you to make himself feel better... One chuckle at his bizarre behavior and you are the a**hole wtf?

Ok_Muffin8398 − NTA. He ran into that knife. He ran into that knife ten times. 😜

EscalatingEris − NTA. 99% of AITA posts that start with 'AITA for embarrassing ...' are NTA, because it's usually the 'embarrassee' who's made a complete tit of themselves. This post is no exception.

Swampman5000 − Jim embarrassed himself NTA

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Lord_Blackstar − NTA. That was a pretty funny read though, Jim seems to have some serious insecurities if he's trying to compete with the long ended career of a former child actor.

caripoi − NTA, he was being unreasonably annoying and you shut him down, if it made him uncomfortable then good. It means he may have understood he was being unpleasant and is likely to stop, that's what shame is for.

Virulencer − NTA.. Abby later texted us and told me I embarrassed Jim. I have a feeling Jim's ego is very fragile and he is easily embarrassed. You have been more than courteous to him and he still felt the need to try and make himself feel better by putting you down or competing with you on something you don't even do anymore.

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Mars1040 − NTA. Sounds like this guy is jealous of a *child* for being on Broadway. Edit: I just realized after posting this that this is actually a *terrible* attitude for an actor to have. I'm a Theatre Major myself and I've been told by my Professors that it's not your acting skill that will get you hired,

it's your work ethic and your *attitude*. If this is what he acts like when he learns that other people are/were in the same industry as him (rubbing in people's faces that he's gotten 'lead roles') then I'm not surprised that he's not on Broadway.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Jim's the one who kept bringing up the subject, let alone trying to force the comparison. If he's embarrassed at having been called out on how ridiculous he's being about this, maybe he ought to reflect on why that is instead of trying to blame you yet *again*.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. He walked into it. I think he's insecure for some reason about his job or his abilities. Why else would he try to compete with someone who literally left the industry 14 years ago and found happiness elsewhere? By the way, most people don't even end up in the chorus on freaking Broadway, so that alone is pretty cool.

But do these Reddit spotlights reveal the full act, or just amplify the drama?

This Zoom showdown spotlights how past glories can spark unexpected rivalries. The woman’s laugh was a harmless jab at Jim’s relentless boasting, but was it too sharp? Insecurity drives some to outshine others, yet a chuckle can cut deep. What would you do when faced with a friend’s boastful beau? Share your stories—have you ever laughed off someone’s ego only to stir the pot?

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