AITA for laughing and enjoying hearing my sister talk about her MIL hating her?

Family feuds often reveal themselves in the most unexpected moments—sometimes with a dose of ironic humor. In this case, long-standing sibling rivalry and a history of relentless belittlement come crashing back when one sister finds herself venting about her turbulent relationship with her mother-in-law. For the narrator, this is not just another sad tale; it’s a moment of poetic justice, given years of humiliation at the hands of her own sister.

Surrounded by supportive in-laws and a loving husband, the narrator had grown used to hearing her sister’s scathing remarks about her MIL—remarks that echoed the hurtful words that haunted her own childhood. When those remarks led to genuine laughter shared with her husband, it was a bittersweet moment of vindication that underscored how far she’d come from the painful past.

‘AITA for laughing and enjoying hearing my sister talk about her MIL hating her?’

My sister (29f) and I (26f) don't get along. For most of my life she has belittled me and during our childhood she was the primary bully in my life. I had others in school, and I struggled socially. My parents weren't good either and they let it happen. But my sister always saw me as not deserving of anything good.

She talk like me having a single friend was too hard to believe and that I didn't deserve it. She called me unlovable and said no guy would ever want me. She was always the first to laugh when kids at school bullied me or when it was talked about around others.

There were times she defended people excluding me saying nobody wanted

I have seen her twice in the last 8 years (excluding this current incident) and both times she was just as awful. The second time was while I was engaged to my husband and she disparaged me and attempted to convince my husband he was better off without me. She found a lot of joy in imagining his family, specifically his mother, hating me.

And I admit that before that time and before I met my ILs, I was worried given my track record. But I have a wonderful relationship with my ILs and my husband's parents, MIL included, are like the parents I didn't get to have growing up. They're wonderful.

My sister is also married and I saw her at a party at our grandparents place over the weekend. I heard her talk about how much her MIL hates her and she was telling some cousins how she can't do anything right by her MILs standards, how MIL wants her and her husband to divorce, how she's the outsider and judged for every single things she does.

How her MIL has insulted her. And I loved hearing it. At one point I even started laughing with my husband about it because of how much I enjoyed it and how good it felt for her to experience some of the things she wished on me.

My sister saw us laughing and she stormed over to ask what we found so funny and we were like oh nothing and moved away but she acted up and got thrown out by our grandparents who told her was wrong to start a fight over anything after how she treated me.

They told her they gave her more chances than our parents because she wasn't taught better by our parents but that she was reacting like that to laughing when she has repeatedly laughed about much worse and said and done much worse to me. And that she would laugh into my face while I was laughing with my husband.

My sister was not expecting our grandparents to take my side. I told my grandparents how much I appreciated them for doing that. And I do. Still do. But an aunt said I was wrong and so were my grandparents. She said we all know how my sister is and if I want to be better I shouldn't laugh at misfortune happening to my sister.

Then she told me I could have been a better sister to her and supported her instead of laughing. And I argued with my aunt over it but she remained firm and said I really got to my sister. The way she was so sure I was wrong made me doubt myself a little and I don't know if that's old issues resurfacing or not.. AITA?

Family therapists and conflict resolution experts observe that long-term emotional abuse within sibling relationships can leave deep, lasting scars. When years of hurtful behavior finally culminate in a moment of ironic reversal, the natural human reaction may include feelings of vindication and even laughter. Such responses, while not traditionally compassionate, can serve as brief moments of emotional relief for someone who has been relentlessly bullied by a family member.

Psychologists also point out that schadenfreude—or finding pleasure in another’s misfortune—is a common, if sometimes misunderstood, coping mechanism. For individuals who have suffered years of ridicule, the satisfaction of witnessing a long-time perpetrator face their own misfortunes can feel like a necessary rebalancing of the scales. Experts advise that while it’s important to process these emotions constructively, it is also understandable to have moments of laughter when faced with poetic justice.

Furthermore, communication specialists note that expressing joy over someone else’s hardships can be tricky, as it may generate backlash in tightly knit families where expectations of unconditional support linger. Although the laughter might be seen as a natural reaction to years of mistreatment, it can also reopen old wounds and trigger feelings of guilt—even if those feelings are unwarranted by the context of past abuses.

Finally, experts suggest that the key to navigating such complex family dynamics is to focus on healthy emotional boundaries and individual healing. This may involve professional counseling, honest discussions with family members, and conscious efforts to break the cycle of past hurt. In this case, the laughter represents more than mere mockery—it is a signal of the narrator’s long-awaited emotional liberation from a legacy of familial cruelty.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Here are some perspectives from the Reddit community—ranging from unapologetic support to calls for more compassion—on this incident: Many commenters staunchly defend the narrator, arguing that years of mistreatment justify her reaction. They applaud her for finally experiencing a moment of sweet, albeit bittersweet, retribution.

Others note that while laughter may seem insensitive, it is a natural outcome of cumulative hurt. A few caution, however, that finding joy in a relative’s misfortune might complicate any chance of reconciliation, but the overwhelming sentiment remains: given the sister’s long history of abuse, the narrator’s laughter is fully justified.

Embarrassed_Fan_8380 − Your aunt is a d**k.

Trick_Curve_1933 − NTA. And tell your aunt “I could have been a better sister, and I might have been had she not been 100% awful to me my ENTIRE life including this instance. People like you, who coddle her and tell others “that’s just how she is” are the REASON she is the way she is.

So go coddle her and tell her she’s perfect and I’m evil because that’s how y’all roll, but leave me the f alone. Like, for good. I want nothing to do with toxic AHs, including you and Sister. Bye.”

TenaciouslyPurple − NTA. Karma is a QUEEN!. (She sure takes her sweet time tho!. doesn’t she LOL) Now if you want to be really petty, “Return the favor” by calling up her MIL and THANK HER for seeing your sister’s true self and agree with your MIL that her son would be better off divorcing her..

Then invite her MIL out to lunch and pay for it & have fun doing stuff with her MIL. Take pictures & video of the 2 of you having fun & post them on anything your sister is on: Insta, fb, TikTok, lemon8, etc. And talk about how WONDERFUL your sister’s MIL is and how much fun the 2 of you have together!

Then come back and let us know the results cuz this would be so awesome if her MIL wanted to do this with you!. Your sister was beyond awful to you growing up.. She knew that if people saw the real you back then that nobody would ever like her!. Because everyone would’ve wanted to be friends with you instead.. She did what she could to hurt you.

Your parents are the assholes for allowing it to happen and shoulda shut it down the FIRST time it happened!. Your sister is the a**hole for obvious reasons!!. You are awesome and should definitely get together with her MIL. Taking your sister’s MIL to lunch would be like: Thanking KARMA 👑for bringing your sister’s MIL into your Life!🥰.

Edit to add this:. This is what I do to my sister when she says mean stuff about me:. I’ve started quick-pointing at her with 1 finger and saying “Everybody see this??”. Then nodding: “Mmm hmmm. Okay…”. And turning my back and smiling and walking away.. Pisses her off when I call her out now. and then I act unbothered walking away laughing at her.

But other people are starting to pay attention to her ways now and starting to call her out more on it.. And when your aunt says ANYTHING to you - start laughing at her and then grin and walk away.. She’s part of the problem!

kindaright-ish − NTA No one saying anything to your sister is the reason why your sister thinks she can act the way she does without consequence. 'She just like that' is a p**s poor excuse. For all we know, she's tired the same s**tty behaviour with someone from her ILs, and her MIL isn't about thar life.

WanderingGnostic − NTA. Embrace the schadenfreude. You have more than earned it.

Cute-Profession9983 − Your aunt is an @$$hat. Ask her where all this energy was the last 2 decades of sis abusing you. Aunt can sit and spin

Swiss_Miss_77 − Your aunt thinks you

Your aunt is full of s**t. There is no sisterly relationship and not finding joy at her misery wasn't going to suddenly, miraculously create one. Your sister can F all the way off and if your aunt has a problem with that, she can go to.. NTA

Artistic-Tough-7764 − NTA - funny is funny

avid-learner-bot − I hate to admit it, but hearing your sister complain about her MIL felt... almost deserved, honestly, and NTA, it's kinda like getting a small victory for all the times she's been awful.

Pristine-Payment − Op, you know what karma is? Because your sister is a living example of it. You're not bad for laughing, and why would you help her? The most your sister would do is spit in your face instead of being grateful.

In conclusion, this family saga highlights the complicated interplay between long-standing abuse, personal vindication, and the often uncomfortable role of schadenfreude in our lives. Is it wrong to laugh at a family member’s misfortune when that member has spent years demeaning you? Or is this simply the natural result of finally having your pain acknowledged by a twist of fate?

As you weigh in on this contentious issue, ask yourself: should we always strive for forgiveness and support even in the face of deep-seated familial wounds, or is there room for a little well-earned laughter as a form of catharsis? Share your thoughts below and join the discussion.

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