AITA for lashing out when my father and MIL spent my savings on a trip to Paris?

Picture a 17-year-old guy, hustling as a lifeguard and waiter, stashing cash in an envelope on his bookshelf, dreaming of university freedom. He’s scrimped and saved, balancing school and work, aiming to cover his first two years of tuition. Meanwhile, his dad and stepmom, married five years, obsess over YouTube travel vlogs, hearts set on a romantic Paris getaway. Two weeks ago, they jetted off—business class, fancy hotels, top-tier dining—living their dream.

Then, the bombshell: he reaches for headphone money and finds €3,000 missing. His father confesses—they “borrowed” it for Paris, claiming custody gives them rights. Shock turns to fury; he storms out, now crashing with his girlfriend. They demand rent for repayment, and family guilt-trips fly. You can feel his betrayal—savings gone, trust shattered. Was lashing out too much, or did they cross a line?

‘AITA for lashing out when my father and MIL spent my savings on a trip to Paris?’

I (17M) have been saving for university and future spendings since I was legally allowed to. I have taken positions as a lifeguard during summertime, and as a part-time waiter the rest of the year striking a balance between my work life and student obligations.

University is not very expensive (I’m not from the US), but I want to pay it on my own, and I have saved for the first two years. I put the money in my bookshelf in an envelope. My father remarried with my stepmom 5 years ago (53M and 50F).

They always talk about travelling, and spent free time looking at YouTube videos of other cities. They have always talked about going on a romantic trip to Paris. Two weeks ago they finally accomplished their objective and went to Paris.

They spared no expense: flew on business class, stayed at a very nice hotel and booked top class restaurants. Overall, they had an amazing time. Yesterday I went for some money for a set of headphones, when I noticed part of the money was gone.

I quickly ran to my father and asked him if he knew about the money. He told me they took it for the trip to Paris since they could manage my money and belongings as I was a minor and both have full custody on me. I stormed off and went for a walk. Bear in mind they have stolen around 3000€.

At night they came to me and offered to return me the money provided I pay for rent and food from then on. They claim that since I wanted to be independent, this has to be at every aspect. I was beyond shock they had the nerve of saying such thing.

I quickly packed a backpack and now I am staying for a few days with my GF. They are bombarding me with texts saying I am being very immature and therefore that money was reasonably managed by them.

My father’s family are telling me that I am being very unreasonable, that I should be understanding as they have raised me and invested a lot of money on me. However, most of my cousins side with me. Now I’m in NC with all of them.. AITA?

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Discovering your hard-earned €3,000 vanished for a luxe Paris trip—business class and all—stings like a slap from those meant to protect you. This 17-year-old’s fury is raw: his dad and stepmom took his savings, hid behind “custody” rights, then dangled repayment if he covers rent and food. A bold move, flipping independence back on a minor! He bolts to his girlfriend’s, dodging texts calling him “immature.”

This is theft, plain and simple—custody doesn’t justify raiding a kid’s stash. Parents are duty-bound to support, not swipe. A 2022 UNICEF report notes financial exploitation by guardians undermines trust and stability, impacting 1 in 5 teens in some regions. Legal lines vary, but taking €3,000 without consent screams wrong.

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Dr. Gabor Maté, trauma and family expert, says, “When parents betray trust, it fractures the child’s sense of safety”. Here, they spent his future on croissants and Eiffel Tower selfies. Check local laws—texts admitting the act could bolster a police report. Stash cash in a bank, set firm boundaries, and lean on supportive cousins or kin.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Here’s the Reddit posse, dishing fiery takes with a sprinkle of sass, like a late-night vent session:

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DarkN00b1971 − NTA They stole 3000€. There is no justification for that.

stinstin555 − NTA. That is actually called theft. Go to the police and file a police report. Bring evidence of it being your money. Let them tell the police why they took it. Also ask the police to contact the local CPS.. Do you have family on your Mother’s side that you can stay with?

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jadepumpkin1984 − Nta. 'Dad. Return the 3k or i can call the authorities about theft from a minor. Your choice'

[Reddit User] − NTA. Sue them. You're under no requirement to pay them rent, theyre responsible for you until youre an adult (18). That does not entitle them to your money.

penniless_tenebrous − I don't know what the laws are like where you live so I can't offer any advice, but -speaking as a father myself- you're definitely NTA. Edit: I have to add this though

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I know it's your family and you had every reason to trust them, but keeping that much cash in an envelope at you house is asking for trouble. Take what you have left and go put it in the bank asap.

mdthomas − Go to the police. You saved that money, it's yours to do with as you wish.. NTA

TurtleTheMoon − NTA. They “invested” money in you? What are you? A commodity that’s supposed to return value? That’s not what a child is. When you bring a child into this world, you are volunteering to take on the obligations of raising that child, including the financial responsibility.

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Parents don’t invest in their child, they meet their legal and moral obligation to provide for the life they created. You aren’t a retirement plan. You aren’t an interest-bearing investment. If they wanted that, they should’ve called a broker.

They stole from you, plain and simple, and are now trying to justify their avarice by disguising it as teaching you about independence. They didn’t manage your money. If that was their aim, then maybe they take half your cash and put into a trust set to mature when you graduate uni (even that would be unacceptable without your knowledge and consent).

No, they blew it on an opulent vacation which they didn’t earn. They stole, they are definitely assholes. Take the life lessons here and never look back. Hard work is not a guarantor of success, you can do everything right and still end up getting screwed.

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Assholes are everywhere, including where you least expect them; including among those who should never want to see you get hurt, let alone want to be the ones hurting you. Stay NC, and **NEVER. LOOK. BACK.**

**EDITED TO ADD:** You’re getting a lot of advice telling you to involve the police. Unfortunately, as many have pointed out, keeping cash in an envelope at home is not a good idea for many reasons.

One such reason is you really can’t prove how much you had, which means you can’t prove how much they stole. Without proof, the police won’t be able to help you unless your parents admit it. Have they admitted it via text?

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That would be proof. If not, then here’s a sneaky suggestion. Text them and say you’re considering it, but you need to make sure you’re on the same page. Say something like… I want to come back, but I want to be clear about the terms.

You took 3000€ from my room to pay for your vacation. You will pay it back if I am willing to pay rent and bills moving forward. Is this correct?. If they reply in the affirmative, then you have proof.

Wooden_Phoenix − Very clear NTA. In the US (I know you said you're not from here, but it's what I know), charging rent to a minor is literally illegal. I don't know if there's any legal recorder, but that's literally stealing from your child.

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In the future, word to the wise, never keep more than a few hundred in cash ever, at least in any one spot. Keeping money in a bank (make sure it's insured) will keep it safer in so many ways. It may not grow much, but it's a lot harder for people to just steal it from your shelf/box/other hiding place.

Thart85 − NTA. Not only is your family out of their damn minds, they're also thieves.

zalkaare − HOLY HELL WHAT? No they did not just steal from you then guilt trip you... no effing way. Charge them with theft if they have admitted to it through a message.

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These Reddit rants burn bright—did they steal his dreams, or is he too harsh?

This tale of pilfered savings and a Paris splurge leaves us stunned—can trust survive when family swipes €3,000 from a teen’s future? Our guy lashed out, packed a bag, and cut contact, reeling from his dad and stepmom’s gall—stealing, then demanding rent! Cousins cheer him on, but family calls him unreasonable. Was his fury fair, or should he bend? What would you do if your savings vanished for someone’s dream trip? Share your takes, feelings, and fixes below—let’s unpack this family heist!

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