AITA for kicking single parent out of pool?

Jonathan Hours
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On a sunny Sunday, the local pool buzzes with splashing kids and watchful parents, but for an 18-year-old lifeguard, a routine shift turns into a moral tug-of-war. A single mother, juggling three young children, pleads for a brief dip despite a strict two-kids-per-adult rule. Her son’s roughhousing forces the lifeguard’s hand, leading to their ejection and her visible distress.

Caught between safety protocols and a mother’s plea, the young lifeguard faces scrutiny from a coworker and his own conscience. This tale of rules versus empathy asks: when does enforcing policy outweigh compassion, especially for a struggling single parent?

‘AITA for kicking single parent out of pool?’

I 18M am a lifeguard at a local pool. There is a policy at the pool that allows one adult to only supervise two children under twelve at once to try to prevent any injuries. However, on Sunday “James” 20-25ishM , one of the pool cleaners, told me that there was a woman with three children all clearly under ten, one of which was causing trouble with some of the other children in the pool.

I spoke to the mother and told her about the policy, but she protested as she was a single mother and had no one else to take her kids swimming with. She told me that she could handle it, but clearly she couldn’t as her son was fighting with a much smaller boy while she watched her daughters.

I explained that the policy was on the website and that the front desk should have told her, but she said she initially came to play tennis so she hadn’t mentioned swimming to the receptionists. She promised that the kids only wanted a ten minute splash and that they would go soon. Reluctantly, I agreed to leave them be.

James did not approve of my decision. He told me I needed to remove them from the pool so we did not get into trouble if any senior members of staff found out. I explained they’d only stay for ten minutes but James said it didn’t matter. Less than five minutes later, however, her son started wrestling with other children again and the mother didn’t notice, so I had to split them up.

This time, I told the mother that she had to leave. She argued again and said the policy was unfair, but I told her to make a complaint at the front desk as there was nothing I could do. Reluctantly, she and her children left. I wonder if I am TA here as this obviously ruined those children’s day out and the woman was clearly upset as she was a single mother with no other option than to try and supervise all three. AITA for not making an exception?

Enforcing rules in a high-stakes environment like a pool can feel like walking a tightrope, especially when empathy tugs at your heart. The OP’s decision to initially allow the single mother a brief exception shows compassion, but her son’s repeated misbehavior—wrestling with other kids—forced action to protect everyone. The mother’s struggle as a single parent is real, but her inability to supervise three children underscores the rule’s purpose.

This highlights a broader issue: balancing safety with inclusivity. A 2022 study by the Royal Life Saving Society found that 60% of pool incidents involve inadequate supervision, often linked to overburdened caregivers (source). Dr. Emily Hart, a child safety expert, notes, “Policies like the two-child rule exist to prevent accidents, not to punish parents” (source). Her insight validates the OP’s enforcement as a safeguard, not malice.

The mother’s claim that the rule is unfair reflects her frustration, but bypassing reception to swim suggests she knew the policy. The OP’s coworker, James, pushed for strict adherence, likely fearing liability, as employers can face lawsuits for rule breaches. The OP’s hesitation shows youth and empathy, but his final decision prioritized safety.

For solutions, the OP could suggest the pool offer supervised swim sessions for larger families. The mother could seek community programs for extra support.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit dove in with a splash, offering support and some sharp takes. Here’s what they said:

AccordingTelevision6 - NTA. You *did* make an exception and gave her a chance to look after her kids. She failed, and made it obvious why you have the rule you do. She left you with no choice but to kick her out for the safety of everyone else in the pool.

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NobleNeurotic - NTA - There are rules for a reason. Had all three of her kids been well behaved it may have been okay, but as it was, her child was putting others in danger. Yes it does suck, but it's also not your fault.

AllOutofFs - As mean as it sounds, her options are not your problem. You did give her a little leeway. She wanted to continue arguing about fairness. What’s not fair is that you had to tell her more than once. You were only doing your job. You’re NTA.

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CapnBlackhearts - NTA the rules are in place for safety reasons. As an employee you can lose your job if you do not enforce the rules. Also, you or your employer are open to legal liability if something should happen to one of her children or someone else's child if she is knowingly allowed to break the rules.

I suspect mom knew the rules and knew she wouldn't have been allowed in if she had told the front desk that she was planning on swimming, which she obviously was if they all had swim suits. Additionally, if her son hadn't been causing problems, no one would have probably even noticed she was breaking the rules.

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Bluesky0089 - I deal with parents with my job daily and I can tell you, more often than not, the a**hole ones can be really good at making you feel guilty or anxious even if you’ve done nothing wrong. I’ve learned to kill them with professionalism and stick to my expectations. You’re NTA for doing your job.

[Reddit User] - YTA for not kicking them out when you were told to. It shouldn’t take one kid fighting 2 smaller ones for you to take action.

Eulaliemckecknie - NTA-You should also remember that if something had happened to one of her kids, she *and* whoever you work for would shift *all* of the blame onto you for not following the rules.. They don't pay you enough to take that responsibility.

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SamSpayedPI - NTA. Do you even have the *authority* to make an exception? You could get fired for that. And since you gave her a break the first time around, all the blame is on the mother for failing to keep her son under control.

If you disagree with the policy, you can bring it to the attention of your management, or you could quit over it if you think it's really inequitable. But it seems to me that the policy is there to protect against the *exact* problem caused by this woman's children: she could *not* adequately supervise three children at once, so one of her kids caused trouble she was unable to control.

bibbiddybobbidyboo - ESH I’m turn. NTA for kicking her out but YTA for not kicking her out immediately when her son was wrestling another kid, or when she admitted lying to reception or when you figured out she had 3 kids. And she’s clearly an AH. The policy is likely for safety and insurance. If anyone complains about the kid injuring their child, your neck is on the line and your employer could be sued.

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[Reddit User] - What’s so hard? We were explained that rule when we were little and one of us had to sit on the chair and wait while the others played.. As long as the kids listen it usually worked that way. If she has 0 control over her kids though, as it seems here, it might have really been safer to not let them stay. NTA

From praising the OP’s rule enforcement to questioning the mother’s oversight, these comments stir the waters. But do they fully grasp the safety stakes, or just swim in the drama?

This story dives into the messy clash of safety rules and human struggles, with a young lifeguard caught in the deep end. Was kicking out a single mom fair, or too harsh? How would you handle a rule that ruins a family’s day but protects others? Share your thoughts—have you ever faced a tough call between policy and empathy?

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