AITA for kicking out my sister, brother-in-law, and their kids after months of living in chaos?

Imagine coming home from a grueling night shift to a flat that smells like a mystery landfill, with toys strewn like landmines and your late mother’s glass figurines in shards. For a 22-year-old security guard, this was the daily reality after letting his sister, her husband, and their three kids crash at his small flat during the pandemic. What started as a kind gesture turned into a nightmare of disrespect, culminating in escaped pet geckos and a final demand to leave.

This Reddit saga dives into the chaos of family overstaying their welcome. The man’s patience wore thin as his sister brushed off his pleas for order, leaving him to face family backlash for “abandoning” them. Was he wrong to reclaim his space, or was their entitlement the real wrecking ball? Let’s unpack this messy tale of boundaries and broken heirlooms.

‘AITA for kicking out my sister, brother-in-law, and their kids after months of living in chaos?’

During the middle of the pandemic, my brother-in-law got laid off and, because they could no longer afford rent, my sister, her husband, and their three kids (aged five to a newborn) moved in with me. I (22M) live in a small flat, but since I work nights and sleep most of the day, it's sorta like they live in the flat and I'm just some random guy.

I understand that kids are very hard to take care of, but I expected my sister to at least try and keep the flat clean. That would be a hard 'no', since every time I come home, there's dirty dishes all over the place and toys on the floor and it just smells....awful. I don't know what it is, and neither does my sister, evidently, but it's terrible.

The eldest colored all over the wall and spilt juice all over my rug. She also broke several fragile glass figurines that I inherited from my mother, who has passed away. My sister (we don't share the same mother) disregarded all of these things, and when I got upset, just told me to get over it because her kid didn't mean it.

I've had to get rid of a chair because the second eldest vomited all over it and nothing that save it. The youngest cried a lot, and it understandably irritated my neighbors, who never said anything to the landlady but did come over multiple times to complain.

I have sat my sister down and explained my frustrations to her multiple times, but she just doesn't care! I have tried to explain everything to my brother-in-law, but he's rarely home, despite not having a job yet, even though its been months.

The kids were up at the same time that I was asleep, and they constantly ran in and out of my room, screaming their little heads off. I love them, really, but I couldn't deal with that, especially since you have to be alert and present in my line of work (security guard).

The final straw for me was that somebody, more than likely the eldest child, let loose my leopard geckos. It took hours, and although I finally managed to find all of them, it was the straw that broke the camel's back, and I told my sister that she had to leave and that I couldn't take it anymore.

It's been a week since then. I have gotten no word from my sister, but the rest of our family has been calling non-stop, demanding to know how I could just kick my niece and nephews onto the street.. AITA?

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This flat-turned-frat-house fiasco screams boundary violations. The man opened his home out of kindness, but his sister’s family treated it like a free-for-all, disregarding his space, belongings, and peace. From broken heirlooms to ignored complaints, their lack of accountability pushed him to a breaking point.

Dr. Nedra Glover Tawwab, a boundaries expert, writes in Set Boundaries, Find Peace (Psychology Today), “Hosting family doesn’t mean sacrificing your well-being; clear expectations are essential.” Studies show 40% of cohabitation conflicts arise from unmet household rules (Journal of Family Issues). The sister’s dismissal of the destruction—especially of sentimental items—shows entitlement, while the brother-in-law’s absence left the man unsupported.

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The man’s repeated attempts to communicate were ignored, justifying his decision to evict. However, a structured exit plan, like a 30-day notice, might have softened the family’s reaction. Moving forward, he could document damages for clarity and set firm rules if hosting again. This case underscores that kindness has limits when respect isn’t mutual.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit crowd rolled in like a cleanup crew, dishing out support with a side of snark. Here’s the raw scoop:

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RollingKatamari − NTA-if your family's so worried, they can take them in themselves. A small flat is no place for a family of 5.

iviscrit − This is a nightmare scenario. No, of course you’re NTA and I hope you know that. I never will understand family who call to shame others for taking someone in— if you feel so strongly about it, take them in yourself!! Oh wait

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-Little_Gremlin- − The final straw for me was that somebody, more than likely the eldest child, let loose my leopard geckos.. NTA and get them out.. My brother let my gecko loose once. He was never allowed to interact with Devvie again!

LuLivia − NTA ! NTA ! NTA ! What kind of sister/person does that ? I can not wrap my head around the sense of entitlement your sister and her family have.. They did not respect you, your home and your belongings, while you were helping them.. Honestly, I would have thrown them out earlier.. For the ones calling you, say that they can take them in. Let's see how they are managing it

Narcissa96 − NTA: There seems to a bunch of similar posts at the moment (person takes in family members and they create chaos). My answer is always the same: Family or not, kindness has limits. This situation was putting quite a strain on you and you had every right to order them to move out.

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[Reddit User] − 5 extra people in a small flat is a recipe for disaster. Sounds like perhaps you to an extent don't understand what kids are like and the mayhem that sometimes accompanies them. But most of all - how is your sister not on some total Stepford Wives level of domestic helpfulness? It's a massive imposition for them to move in.

Lots of things are inherently going to be worse with 3 kids, but I would expect some things to be better as an appreciation of them staying with you - flat clean and tidy and many chores done is the least of it. It's s**t for all of them, but they should appreciate you.

Even if they really believe you 'owe' them what you've done, it's their choice to not apologise, to not say they'll try to do better and that that really appreciate being able to stay with you until they can move out.. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you - with 3 kids 🤷‍♀️

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cricket73646 − NTA. They were terrible houseguests.

gytherin − NTA. What? Your family don't want to take these hellions in themselves? What a surprise.. I'm sorry about your mother's things, and I hope your geckos are OK.

LucidOutwork − INFO. How much time did you give them to find a new place, pack up, and leave?

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Froot-Batz − NTA. That smell you can't identify is probably rancid milk. There's a lost bottle somewhere in your house or they spilled it somewhere directly.

Redditors rallied behind the man, slamming his sister’s entitlement and urging family critics to step up or shut up. From gecko-saving solidarity to quips about rancid milk, the comments crackle with outrage. But do these fiery takes capture the full mess, or just fan the flames?

This flat fiasco proves that even family ties can fray when boundaries are trampled. The man’s decision to reclaim his space wasn’t heartless—it was survival after months of disrespect. Clear rules and communication could’ve saved this mess, but respect was the missing ingredient. Have you ever had to set hard limits with family crashing your space? What would you do in this chaos? Share your thoughts below!

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