AITA for kicking out my roommate/ex for installing a hidden camera in my room?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In the quiet hum of a shared apartment, a woman’s world shattered with a single, chilling discovery. Tucked away in her private sanctuary, a hidden camera stared coldly at her bed, installed by her ex-turned-roommate. The sting of betrayal cut deep, unraveling years of trust in moments. Her fury was swift, her decision final—out he went. Yet, his mother’s stinging rebuke left her questioning: was she too harsh? Readers, brace yourselves for a tale of violated privacy that’ll leave you checking your own corners.

This story isn’t just about one woman’s shock; it’s a gut-punch reminder of how fragile personal boundaries can be. As the Reddit community weighs in, the debate rages: is kicking him out justice, or an overreaction? Let’s dive into this messy saga, where emotions run high and privacy hangs by a thread.

‘AITA for kicking out my roommate/ex for installing a hidden camera in my room?’

My partner and I were together for many years. However, when he messed up, we broke up and he moved into the second bedroom. So we became roommates for a few months. Tonight, I discovered that he had a hidden camera installed in my room, aimed at my bed. I feel so violated. I can’t believe he would do such a thing. He’s not the person I thought he was.

I got angry and had him remove the camera. I told him that he had to move out now. However, his mother just called me now and called me an a**hole, as he has no place to go. She said that it’s not a big deal because it used to be his room for years (maybe it was from back then), because technically we were not officially broken up (we hadn’t told anyone yet),

and because it’s not a crime as it’s his home (not in US).. I don’t know the law, but it should be a crime everywhere, right?. I’m just so confused. I felt so violated, and now I’m being told that my feelings are not justified.

Discovering a hidden camera in your private space is a gut-wrenching violation. This Reddit user’s story highlights a clash of boundaries, trust, and entitlement. On one side, she’s reeling from betrayal; on the other, her ex’s mother downplays the act, citing shared history. Both perspectives stem from emotional stakes—her need for safety versus a mother’s loyalty—but the ex’s actions cross a clear line.

Privacy invasions like this aren’t just personal; they’re a societal issue. According to a 2023 Pew Research study, 59% of women report feeling unsafe due to digital surveillance (pewresearch.org). Hidden cameras amplify this fear, eroding trust in intimate spaces. The ex’s defense—that it’s “his home”—holds no water when consent is absent.

Dr. Pamela Rutledge, a media psychologist, notes, “Privacy is a cornerstone of psychological safety. Unauthorized surveillance shatters that foundation, leaving victims feeling exposed and powerless” (psychologytoday.com). Here, the OP’s reaction—evicting her ex—was a reclaiming of control. Her ex’s secrecy suggests intent, not oversight, making his mother’s excuses flimsy.

For solutions, experts recommend immediate action: remove the device, secure personal spaces, and consult legal advice. Therapy can help process the trauma of betrayal. The OP should also check devices for stored footage and change all passwords. Moving forward, clear boundaries and open communication are key to rebuilding trust in future relationships.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit hive mind didn’t hold back on this one—grab your popcorn for these spicy takes! From calls to involve the police to savage roasts of the ex’s creep factor, the community’s got opinions hotter than a summer sidewalk. Here’s what they had to say:

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RuroniHS − NTA - That's SUPER creepy. You were 100% right to kick him out, and honestly, you would be well within your rights to report that to the police. They can tell you specifically what laws, if any, that violates. Edit: Upon looking into video recording laws, it looks like he put a camera in an 'area of expected privacy' without consent, so that would be a violation of the law.

TheFishJones − Every morning I want you to get up, look in the mirror, and say “I am NTA and my ex is manipulative and dangerous” until this b**tard is out of your life.

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Issyswe − Whoa, whoa, whoa.. Don’t this woman gaslight you. It was totally inappropriate and while the home is shared, the room is your private space. The house is also yours, so filming in common areas would also be illegal without your consent. Whether you are in a relationship or not—irrelevant. Being a partner or boyfriend does not give him a right to film you without your consent.. NTA. At all. Kick him out.. Also, contact law enforcement.

SupremeCultist − NTA - This is a big deal. Kicking him out is a good first start. You should consult a lawyer

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Red_Cathy − NTA - Tell his mother that if he needs somewhere to go you can call the cops and then he can sleep in the jail, as what he did was purely criminal. (it does not matter if it's his home or not, you have a reasonable expectation of privacy in your own bed, and so filming you without permission is absolutely a crime). Or just tell her to get f**ked and tell her that you hope she's proud that her precious offspring is a dirty pervert.

JBagginsKK − NTA I don't know where you are (aside from not the US) but that would still be a crime here regardless of if he lives there or not. Filming or recording anybody in an intimate setting without their consent (and frankly in a lot of other settings) is wildly out of line.

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immaplaya − NTA and this is a crime. Call the police, tell his mother he'll have a warm place to stay and not worry. Full disclosure: I'm a victim of this sort of crime in 2002 and had laws passed in my state improving language to prosecute these. Get yourself into therapy, the violation of trust and privacy are devastating.

DancinginHyrule − Even if he put the camera up before you broke up (also, breaking up means that the people involved agree, not their extended family) it was still without you knowning. What exactly does he need a camera in his bedroom for?

You want to grill him on whether there are videos of the two of you out there that you do not know about. He is a creep x1000. Recording without consent, (I assume) cheating, calling mommy on you. Kick him the hell out.. NTA.

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mymycojourney − NTA you don't get to spy on someone just because it's your house. Even if it was up while you were together, he should have disclosed that instead of secretly recording your bedroom time. Much much worse if he did it and used it after you broke up. By their logic, since it was his bathroom before, he can out a camera up in there, too? NTA all the way, and both of them sound like real winners you'll be better off without.

WokeJabber − Have you done an image search for yourself online? Do you have the passwords to all his electronics and social media accounts? If not, apologize immediately, make up, and get them. Access everything, delete everything from his cloud accounts, and reformat his drives.. NTA

These are Reddit’s loudest voices, but do they echo real-world justice? One thing’s clear: nobody’s Team Ex here.

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This tale of a hidden camera leaves us all a little uneasy, questioning who we can trust in our own homes. The OP’s swift eviction of her ex feels like a stand for self-respect, but his mother’s pushback muddies the waters. What’s your take? Was she right to kick him out, or should she have given him a chance to explain? Share your thoughts—what would you do if you found a camera watching you sleep?

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