AITA for kicking out my pregnant sister and her family?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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A generous offer to house a sister’s family turned into a living nightmare for a single mom juggling a daycare, school, and three kids. Picture a sprawling home filled with the chatter of children, meant to be a temporary haven for the sister’s family to save for their dream house. Instead, the OP faces chaos: lavish spending, neglected duties, and a surprise pregnancy, shattering their deal and her patience.

The breaking point came when the sister’s family splurged on hotels, a pool, and a wedding, while ignoring their promise to help with childcare and cleaning. Now, the OP grapples with guilt over evicting them, especially with a baby on the way. Reddit’s diving into this mess of family loyalty and tough love—did she make the right call, or is she too harsh?

‘AITA for kicking out my pregnant sister and her family?’

I own my home, an in-home daycare, I’m in school, I’m raising my own 3 little kids alone. I have a fairly large home and after some discussions with my sister about her goal of buying a home, decided to let them all (her, her partner, their 5 kids.) Move in with me for one year.

The pros for both sides were supposed to be that they live closer to where they need to be and can pay off debt, and they help out with my kids while I’m in school and cleaning with the daycare. It’s been 3.5 months.

I have witnessed her spend thousands of dollars on stupid crap, she is a SAHM that barely interacts with her kids and will regularly just leave them all here without telling me she’s leaving, and she’s rude to her partner who works 12 hrs a day and who is the only other person in the house who helps me clean.

They’ve stayed in hotels in the city for fun in two separate occasions, bought an above ground pool that I told her not to buy, threw themselves a wedding, and now I’ve found out (through sleuthing, not from them) that they’re pregnant. That requires a larger vehicle, all new baby stuff, a lot more spending.

Her partner, now husband, confirmed with me that nothing has been paid down. I’m emotionally tapped out, living with them is sucking the life out of me. They aren’t holding up their end of the bargain but I feel so guilty forcing them back into a rental which will likely be way more expensive than their previous one, especially when they’re expecting.

Kicking out a pregnant sister feels harsh, but it’s a desperate act of self-preservation. The OP opened her home to help her sister’s family save, expecting mutual support. Instead, their reckless spending and neglect of responsibilities—like childcare and cleaning—burdened her further. The new pregnancy, requiring more resources, signals no end to their financial irresponsibility, clashing with the OP’s need for stability.

Family dynamics often strain under shared living. A 2022 study in Journal of Family Issues (link) found that 55% of multigenerational households face conflicts over unmet expectations, especially when financial goals diverge. The sister’s disregard for the agreement mirrors this, undermining the OP’s trust and well-being.

Dr. Joshua Coleman, a family estrangement expert, notes in Psychology Today (link), “Boundaries are crucial when family support becomes exploitative; guilt shouldn’t trap you in dysfunction.” The OP’s guilt is natural, but her priority is her children and business. She should issue a legal notice to vacate, offering a clear timeline to soften the blow.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit crew rolled in with no-holds-barred support, dishing out advice like a tough-love family meeting. Here’s the raw scoop from the community:

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TheNonDuality − NTA, as long as you do it legally. Give them the legally required notice, and if they’re not gone, start filing for an eviction.

kacastro − NTA - not your monkeys not your circus. Your sister is able to live a fantasy life of spending 1000s in 'disposable' income without worrying about food or a place to live. Her partner CHOSE to marry her, she can be his problem.

You were born into being her sister and it's nice of you to try and help but this is not a beneficial situation for you or your kids. Put that excess money and ENERGY towards your own self and children instead of letting her stress you out this way.

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TexasYankee212 − NTA. Now you know why she is in debt. Totally irresponsible with money. At this rate, you will be stuck with them in your house for many years as they will: 1) never pay down debts and 2) never save up money to buy their own place.

Plus if she already has 5 kids, why does she need all new baby stuff? Did she throw away all the baby stuff from the 5 previous kids? If she did, then she should use birth control or get fixed to not have any more kids.. It takes discipline to control spending and save. I think irresponsible is the key word here.

ParsimoniousSalad − NTA. Let them live their lifestyle as they want elsewhere. It's not fitting in with your home, business, and needs, and they're not holding up their end of the bargain and making more work for you. If you're feeling like it, maybe tell her partner you're sorry it didn't work out, as they were holding up their end of the bargain.

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Candy4Evr − FIVE KIDS!!?? NTA for kicking them out. They are not doing anything to save up for their own place. Get rid of them ASAP.

CuriosiT38 − NTA.. \ They're not holding up their end of the bargain... That's pretty much all you have to say. While their spending wouldn't be your business (Except to the extent you offered the deal to help them save) if they were 'paying rent' however you arranged, they're not doing that.

You should not feel guilty- they have already enjoyed 3.5 months of free rent for what appears to be no return for you. Let them know ASAP because they're going to pull the pregnancy card, financial stress, or any other reason to resist your move. Check local tenancy laws for what hoops you have to jump through.

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gingiberiblue − NTA. You are doing the right thing. My mother let my sister and brother-in-law move in with her infant. They did the same kind of stuff your sister is pulling. They spent like drunk sailors, refused to clean up, nearly destroyed her house.

They refused to leave over and over. We finally had to involve the police and get a restraining order and have them forcibly removed from the home, after 4 years of them taking advantage of and financially abusing my mom.. Kick them out now. It's not going to get any better and you know it.

SomeCallMeTiimm − NTA. Get rid of them as soon as legally possible, she will only get worse when she pregnant. And then you will be watching the kids while she is busy with the baby.

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russellwilsonthedog4 − NTA. She taking advantage of you and your generosity. She’s not your responsibility and it’s not your problem their money issues and having to pay rent.

Claspers69 − NTA. You need to think about your children and YOURSELF first of all. Thats whats most important here. Tell them goodbye and keep your sanity.

Redditors backed the OP’s decision, slamming the sister’s irresponsibility and urging legal action to reclaim her home. Some sympathized with the sister’s husband, while others warned of worsening chaos with a new baby. But do these fiery takes fully grasp the guilt of evicting family, or are they too quick to judge? This household drama has everyone debating boundaries and accountability.

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This saga of broken promises reveals the toll of unchecked family entitlement. The OP’s choice to evict her sister’s family protects her sanity and kids, but the sting of guilt lingers. Her story reminds us that boundaries, even with loved ones, are non-negotiable when trust is betrayed. How would you handle a family member who takes advantage of your generosity? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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