AITA for kicking only my SIL out which meant she had to fly home early from vacation?

On a starry rooftop, a family vacation sours as a biting comment shatters the calm. A 29-year-old woman, hosting her brother James, his wife Lindsay, and their kids, faces Lindsay’s latest jab at her stay-at-home lifestyle, implying she’s just coasting on her husband’s wealth. Years of snide remarks boil over, and the woman demands Lindsay leave.

James and the kids stay, but Lindsay, unable to afford a hotel, flies home early, sparking family backlash. Was the eviction a fair stand for respect, or too harsh a blow to family unity? This tale of simmering tensions questions where to draw the line with family insults.

‘AITA for kicking only my SIL out which meant she had to fly home early from vacation?’

I (29F) have a half brother, James (37). James is married to Lindsay (35) and they have two kids, 4f and 2m. I invited James, Lindsay and the kids to visit me this past week, and they were meant to stay until next friday. Lindsay and I have always got on fine, except for the fact that she’s always had a weird attitude to me being a SAHW/M.

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She always asks me if I’m going to ask my husband before making non-essential purchases, or asks me if I feel bad relaxing while he’s working, or suggests I do things for him as a ‘thank you’ to him since I’m apparently not doing anything else. I know that James and Lindsay are big on splitting costs and while he pays for everything for both kids he won’t pay for Lindsay, despite making about 25x her salary.

Being that that’s the relationship they’re happy with, I just roll with the comments because my marriage must look weird to Lindsay. However, there is a line. A few days ago we were sitting on our rootftop drinking wine after the kids went to bed. Lindsay was admiring the view and made a comment about how much our apartment cost (James must have told her), and asked if my name was on the deed.

She then said ‘half of (X amount) penthouse just for lying on your back? S*x work is way more lucrative than I thought’. Both my husband and James laid into her for the comment, I was obviously furious and told Lindsay first thing in the morning she had to get out, she wasn’t staying here after speaking to me like that, especially when she wasn’t even apologetic.

I felt bad for ruining James and the kids’ trip but both my husband and I were too angry to have Lindsay there. The next morning, Lindsay asked if she could stay. She said James wasn’t willing to end the trip early and wanted to stay but she couldn’t afford to stay in a local hotel.

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She blamed her comment on the wine but her apology/explanation seemed so insincere and was clearly based on having no choice. I told her this and said even if she did mean it, I just needed some space from her and didn’t want her around after what she said because when put on top of what she’s been saying for years, it’s obvious that’s what she thinks.

James then said he wasn’t paying for her hotel because it was her own actions that got her kicked out, and she would have to fly home early and he’d fly back with the kids as planned, which is what happened. Lindsay has since laid into me over text and social media for forcing her to go home early without her kids. Both my mother and James’s have said I was wrong for kicking Lindsay out.

James’s mother said I should have just let her stay for James’s sake and not invited them back. My mother says I should have kicked all of them out because now Lindsay has to be away from her kids. I don’t think I’m the AH for kicking out the person who made the comment but not the person who defended me and innocent kids.. Did i handle it like an AH?

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This vacation fallout is a sharp clash of respect and resentment. The woman, long tolerant of Lindsay’s digs at her stay-at-home role, reached her limit with a cruel insult about her marriage. Lindsay’s weak apology failed to mend the rift, justifying the eviction. James’s refusal to fund a hotel underscores the couple’s own strained dynamic, not the woman’s actions.

Family therapist Dr. Harriet Lerner notes, “Disrespectful comments erode family trust, especially when unaddressed.” A 2021 study by the American Psychological Association found 40% of family conflicts stem from ongoing slights, like Lindsay’s pattern. The woman’s stand protected her dignity, though a private talk might have softened the fallout.

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This story highlights setting boundaries with family. The woman could block Lindsay’s social media rants, while James might address his wife’s resentment.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s takes on this family drama are as bold as a rooftop showdown. Here’s what they had to say:

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RemoteBroccoli - '*Because it was her own actions that got her kicked out*'. There, this, and that. This is all that is needed, and that is all needed to be said. She accused you of being a s\*x worker, and while it's nothing wrong to be one, it's not something you say to the innkeepers while you travel.. She disrespected *you*, your *husband*, and your *home*. So you threw her out.. Good riddance to bad rubbish.. NTA

SugarLumpy6653 - NTA. Lindsay has been jealous of your life for quite some time already. She was just wanting to be snarky at some time. She is too immature to understand that she is projecting her resentment towards James for their fiscal relationship, unrealistically onto you. Its good to hear that James didn't let this slide regardless of her being his wife.

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You need to let James's mother know that this was not an isolated incident, and was simply the flash point in a long series of snarky remarks and if James really wanted her to stay, James needed to spend money for the hotel. You've already been generous enough in offering to host them.

Leading-Knowledge712 - NTA She f’d around and found out. I wouldn’t allow her in my home either! Also if she has her own finances that are independent of those of her husband, she can pay for a hotel without his help, right? It’s ironic that the very thing she accused you of doing is now a problem for her.

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Majestic-Leopard-563 - Seems like her own husband is sick of her s**t!! You had every right to kick her out. She fafo 🤣🤣 bet she won’t be too quick to try and call you names again! NTA

NotEnoughBiden - NTA, but wtf is wrong with your brother. Imagine making 25x more than your SO and forcing a 50/50 split. Holy hell. No wonder shes so extremely bitter.

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Relative-Disaster-87 - NTA. I'm still amazed that he makes 25 times what she does and they are splitting finances down the middle

TheSilkyBat - NTA. Lindsay has too much to say about a relationship she is not a part of.

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Aggressive-Mind-2085 - NTA. ​. The worst Ah is your brother

IdesiaandSunny - If James thought her action was not that bad and your reaction was unreasonable, than he could have paid for a hotel for her or also leave with the kids and go home together with her. But obviously he was fine with you kicking her out and hasn't done any of this. Does anybody think, he is an a**hole? Or your husband who didn't disagree you kicking her out? Your NTA, of course!

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Normal-Height-8577 - NTA, and it sounds to me like Lindsay is using you as a proxy for disagreements she's really wanting to have with her husband. 1) You have different financial arrangements than she does and she resents that you have more financial security than she does - instead of talking to James about altering their arrangement, she calls you a s** worker.

2) She's mad that because she cannot afford a hotel (to continue the vacation while not being hosted by you as a consequence of her vitriol) her vacation had to end, and the rest of her family carried on without her. That is a choice that James made - and instead of talking to James about it, she's blaming it all on you again.

I think you need to push that back at her. On social media if she's stupid enough to post about it. 'Lindsay, it's clear that you don't like the set-up of your marital finances and resent that other people have different arrangements. I refuse to take the blame for your unhappiness just because my family finance arrangements are different.

That's a discussion you need to have with James, and leave me out of it!' Or 'Lindsay, I refuse to take the blame for the consequences of your own actions. I will not throw James and the kids out of my house when they weren't rude to me - why should they be punished for your hateful words?

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If you don't like that James chose to carry on the vacation without you and chose not to fund your hotel stay, then that's a discussion you need to have with him not me. I have nothing to do with your family financial decisions.'

These reactions hit hard, but do they fully capture the sting of family disrespect and boundary-setting?

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This story of a vacation eviction lays bare the cost of unchecked family slights. The woman’s decision to oust Lindsay was a stand for self-respect, but it fractured the trip and stirred family ire. Lindsay’s resentment, perhaps misdirected, fueled the clash, while James’s stance left her isolated. Have you ever had to eject a family member for crossing a line? Share your thoughts—what’s the line between defending your honor and preserving family ties?

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