AITA for kicking my sister out for having a party at my place a day before her wedding behind my back?

A cozy home turned into a battleground when a woman rushed back to find her sister’s pre-wedding party in full swing, while her sick husband lay upstairs, neglected and covered in vomit. Trusting her sister to care for him, she was blindsided by the betrayal, her anger erupting as she kicked the partygoers out. The Reddit post, raw with emotion, captures a sister’s heartbreak over broken trust.

This isn’t just about a party gone wrong—it’s a gut-punch of family loyalty tested. The sister’s reckless choice to prioritize her celebration over a vulnerable man’s care sparked a rift, with their parents calling the reaction harsh. Was the woman wrong to protect her husband, or did she overstep by shunning her sister’s wedding?

‘AITA for kicking my sister out for having a party at my place a day before her wedding behind my back?’

My F33 sister F26 was got married last week. She helped with my sick husband a lot recenyly. He had a surgery days ago and she'd watch him while I worked. She treats him well so I thought she was trustworthy.. The day before her wedding, she came over in the morning to stay with my husband

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I said she didn't have to and told her my MIL wanted to come stay with him but she insisted saying she got nothing else to do. My MIL called later saying she came over and found that my sister was having guests over and looked like there was a party and MIL was told to leave. She said she didn't even get to go inside to see her son.. I was in dismay I called my sister but no response so Idropped everything and drove home at 5.

I got there and saw that my sister had her friends over celebrating. I pulled her aside and I was fuming asking what was going on. She apologized and said she needed a place to host a small party with her friends before the wedding and this was her last chance. She said her fiance already wanted the apartment to party with his 'brothers'.

She was hesitant to tell me cause she didn't think I would let her. I saw she prepared well for the party which led me to ask if she took care of my husband and she just looked at me confused. I ran upstairs and I went inside the room to find my husband's top and bed covered in vomit.

Turned out he threw up in bed and was stuck with his vomit for an hour or two. He's not advised to leave bed unless it's necessary. and he's on medication so he's sleeping most of the time. He couldn't leave the bed but had tissues and tried to clean up his top. I lost my everloving sh__ on her.

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she didn't even check on him except for once as she claimed and 'he was fine'. I yelled at her and kept shaming her for leaving my husband in a dirty bed when I was reliant on her to watch him. She could've at least called me or let mil in. I had her guests leave and told her to get her stuff and get out but she started crying and called brother in law who wanted to hear 'both sides' of the argument before deciding who's wrong.

I had no time for him I helped my husband and cleaned up the sheets. I told him I wasn't going to her wedding after this and had them leave that moment. My parents got in the middle and said that making my sister cry and kicking her and her guests out the day before the wedding and THEN saying I won't come to her wedding to support her after she's supported me with my husband was highly disrespectful and ungrateful of me.

Mom said they understand I'm stressed and o**rwhelmed but this isn't how I should've handled this and resolved this conflict. I declined to call my sister before her wedding and said I won't attend after she did this, and I didn't go. They're 10× more furious now and said that I finished my relationship with my sister when I refused to support her cause of a misunderstanding.

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Throwing a party in someone’s home without permission is a bold move, but neglecting a sick person in the process is a serious breach. The sister’s decision to host her pre-wedding bash while her brother-in-law suffered reflects a lapse in responsibility. Her past help with his care doesn’t excuse leaving him in distress. A 2023 report from the National Caregivers Alliance notes that 73% of family caregivers experience stress when trust is broken in caregiving roles (National Alliance for Caregiving).

Dr. Gary Chapman, a family counselor, states, “Trust is built on reliability, not occasional favors” (5 Love Languages). The sister’s secrecy—admitting she didn’t ask permission knowing it’d be denied—shows intentional disregard. The woman’s reaction, while heated, prioritized her husband’s safety. Her parents’ defense of the sister as a “misunderstanding” downplays the risk to his health.

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To mend this, the woman could calmly explain her hurt to her sister, emphasizing the danger caused. Dr. Chapman suggests setting boundaries, like limiting future caregiving roles. Resources like Caregiver Action Network offer tips for rebuilding trust. This approach protects her husband while opening a path for dialogue.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit users brought the heat, serving up raw takes on this sisterly betrayal. Here’s the crowd’s unfiltered input:

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JeepersCreepers74 − NTA. My only question is, what else has this unconscionable liar been doing at your house while 'watching' your husband?

sempirate − NTA. Your sister violated your trust by throwing a party at your house and to boot, let your husband bathe in his own vomit for goodness knows how long. This may not even be the first time that she's done something like this. This was not a misunderstanding, as your family is trying to claim. Your sister planned this party but decided against asking you for permission. It's a gross violation of trust.

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FMIEB − NTA - she crossed a big line ‘borrowing’ your place for a party while your husband is ill. She owes you both a huge apology

Due_Pomegranate_9286 − NTA. Wow. For all of her help caring for your husband she didn't seem to care he could've asphyxiated on his vomit and died while she was getting her party on. You family doesn't seem to grasp that it's your house,

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she disrespectfully invited herself to your space and violated it with her friends, neglected and disturbed your unwell healing husband, pulled a teenage house party move and expected you to be okay with it? Your parents need to mind their own business. No. She's an a**hole. She owes you and your husband an apology.

[Reddit User] − NTA. To hell with **all** of them. This is one of the stupidest, most craven, and most underhanded things I’ve seen on AITA. She preyed on your goodwill for the help she had previously provided you, but shirked her duties in the most callous and selfish manner. I’d tell my parents that I no longer had a sister after this stunt, and if they continued to back her I’d tell them I was an orphan.

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Damn_Dutchman − NTA She lied, she had no intentions of caring for your husband that day. She planned and threw a party , which was still a bad idea to have at your home during a pandemic(even tail end) with your sick husband upstairs. Then she left your poor husband up stairs alone and in his own vomit..

Im only happy he did not choke on it.BUT THEN she had the audacity to deny his mother entry to see her sick son and help him! MIL would've happily watched him during the party im sure but noooo she had to keep her party up. Your house is not a venue. Your husband is sick and needs rest, and while she helped before she obviously was using that to her advantage to have a secret party. I wouldve lost my ever loving s**t too...and then some

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DooDooDelux − NTA You ask how they would have responded if he had choked to death on his own vomit and died because your damn sister is a liar.

aclockworksmorange − NTA. Wtf? She held this party knowing you would say no. Wasnt watching your very I'll husband and wouldnt even let your mil in. She gave zero shits about anyone except herself. I dont understand how your parents are defending her.

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This wasnt a misunderstanding it was her straight up not giving a f**k. I dont know how sick your husband is but not having access to care could have caused alot of harm to him. Plus the complete disrespect for your space. I dont blame you in the slightest for reacting the way you did. Also are you sure she was really watching him those other days? How long did she have this party planned?

BertTheNerd − They're 10× more furious now and said that I finished my relationship with my sister when I refused to support her cause of a misunderstanding.

Nope, not misunderstanding. She knowingly lied to you. She confessed it by herself. She put your husband in danger of dying, probably giving him too much medicine (as far as i understood the story).

I even dont know, how those people will attend her wedding after getting to know, she made it in a house of a seriously sick person. At this point i would question the case of her caring for your husband in the past. Perhaps she did it correct. Or perhaps she already crossed the boundaries but you never got to know this.. NTA of course. Best wishes for your husband.

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Novel_Ad_7318 − NTA - yikes. This almost feels like she was playing the long game here. She didn't ask because she KNEW you'd say no - and this is her defense?! This is absolutely insane and who knows what could have happened to your husband.

Throwing up while under medication is a very, very dangerous thing to happen when you are all alone. You have no obligations to explain her wrongdoings to her fiancee either when you have much more important stuff to do at the moment.

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Why would you go to the wedding of someone who potentially risked your husband health and *life.* Also, depending on what your husband had done, maybe talk to a doctor again. Throwing up for weeks after might be a sign that he is reacting to something badly and can impair the medications he is taking. I hope he'll recover properly soon!

The Reddit squad backed the woman’s fury, slamming her sister’s negligence while questioning her past caregiving. Their spicy mix of support and outrage sparks a question: do their hot takes nail the issue, or just fan the flames? This family drama has tongues wagging.

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This woman’s story is a stark reminder that trust, once broken, can fracture family ties. Her sister’s reckless party endangered her husband, justifying her anger, though skipping the wedding deepened the rift. Clear boundaries could pave the way for healing. What would you do if someone betrayed your trust in a critical moment? Share your thoughts below!

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