AITA for kicking my SIL and BIL out of my house when she said my daughters aren’t really mine?

In a cozy suburban home, still echoing with the grief of a husband’s recent passing, Jane (let’s call her that) navigates life as a single mom to her two daughters. Her world, already fragile, cracks further when her brother-in-law and sister-in-law, welcomed as guests, cross a sacred line. Their demand for her daughters’ inheritance, paired with a cruel claim that the girls “aren’t really hers,” ignites a firestorm.

Jane’s story, shared on Reddit, captures the raw pain of betrayal amid loss. With her daughters—one born via surrogate, one adopted—at the heart of her world, she faces a gut-wrenching choice: tolerate disrespect or reclaim her home. This tale dives into family loyalty, grief, and the fierce love of a mother.

‘AITA for kicking my SIL and BIL out of my house when she said my daughters aren’t really mine?’

I(37f) have 2 daughters. The eldest(Anna 7yo) is 'technically' the child of my late husband and my sister genetically in that she was carried by a surrogate and made from my late husband's supermarket and my sisters' donated egg. My younger daughter (lily 4yo) is adopted,

we adopted her a year ago, originally we had planned on using another of my sisters eggs but she passed away 3 years ago in a car accident and I decided it would be disrespectful to use the eggs of hers we had stored without her permission. My husband passed away little over a month ago from the virus, it has been very hard adjusting to life without him after 12 years together and the girls miss their dad terribly.

I am lucky that my family was well off and when our parents passed away my sister and I were given nice nest eggs and I have an excellent job that pays mid 6 figures that I thank our lucky stars for every single day. Shortly after my husband's death, his brother and wife reached out to me asking if they could stay with me for a couple of months as BIL had lost his job and they could no longer afford their flat,

in addition their young baby had a bad lung infection that was draining every spare cent they had. My house is only 4 bedrooms but of course I let them move in, there were problems from the start: SIL tried to demand that I and lily give up our co-joined rooms so they could have them for the baby, BIL got nosy about my husband's life insurance and sulked when he found out he wasn't one of the beneficiaries,

they both (being vegan) complained about me cooking meat and other animal products. I tried to turn a blind eye knowing that they were probably just stressed and sleep deprived from the baby. The problem came last weekend when they approached me asking for some of my daughters inheritance(most of my husband's life insurance went into a college fund for our daughters and they know this) to pay for their sons care.

I declined but offered to tap into the nest egg my parents/sister had left me to pay for some of it. They then asked why I couldn't pay for all of it since I was well off and I gently explained that just because things were OK now, I wanted to plan for worst case not best. They got angry and started yelling and in front of lily they said that really neither of my daughters had any claim to the money since,

they weren't really my daughters and that I was selfish for not supporting them. I immediately told them to pack and go to their parents. I said they had 24hours to be out or I would evict them and that I was sick of listening to them complain. They left shortly after but now I'm being called a terrible person for kicking out a young child and I feel really guilty. AITA here?

Grief can test even the strongest family ties, and Jane’s in-laws failed spectacularly. Their claim that her daughters—one born via surrogate, one adopted—aren’t hers was not just cruel but an attack on her family’s legitimacy. Psychologist Dr. Pauline Boss, in a 2021 Psychology Today article, explains, “Family is defined by emotional bonds, not just biology. Denying those bonds during grief is profoundly damaging” (source). The in-laws’ entitlement exploited Jane’s vulnerability.

This reflects a broader issue: boundaries in blended families. A 2022 study by the American Psychological Association found that 34% of family conflicts post-loss involve financial disputes, often tied to entitlement (source). The in-laws’ demands for inheritance, paired with insults, crossed ethical lines, especially in front of a child. Dr. Boss suggests clear communication to protect family unity, but Jane’s eviction was a justified boundary.

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Jane could reinforce her stance by limiting contact and securing financial documents, as suggested by Reddit. For others, setting firm expectations with houseguests early—especially about respect—prevents escalation.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit unloaded a torrent of support, spiced with outrage and a dash of humor over an epic autocorrect. Here’s what the community dished out:

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IneffableB - NTA. This situation is absurd. Your BIL and SIL crossed so many lines. You did the right thing by kicking them out. Those people sound toxic as hell. Don’t let them guilt you into taking them back.

srgonzo75 - NTA. Based upon their logic, they’re not your family anymore because your connection with them passed with your husband. You were kind enough to offer them a place to stay because you have a more expansive sense of family than they do..

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Complaining about a host’s dietary habits is effectively complaining about their hospitality. Yeah, I’m looking for a job myself, but just because a person CAN afford something doesn’t mean they should pay for it.

GothPenguin - NTA-You were kind enough to open your home to them and they repaid it with disrespect, rudeness, greed, entitlement and nastiness. I’m so sorry for your loss.

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leogachi - NTA. Of course they're really your daughters. Your brother-in-law and his wife are desperate right now, but that's not an excuse for their behavior. Frankly they were taking advantage of you, and I'm glad you stood your ground.

out4blood2643 - NTA at all! Your children, are YOUR CHILDREN. Who else’s would they be? SIL is completely in the wrong for saying that, but especially in front of your kid! Like wtf? No child needs to hears from another adult that their mom isn’t “actually” their mom. Your daughters don’t need to be around anyone who is going to put them down. Your SIL is trying to take advantage of you, and good for you for standing up for your daughters.

ThomzLC - NTA - you were being plenty kind and considerate already. Going way above the call of duty to your in-laws. Your in-laws are being super entitled, unreasonable and rude to their SIL which has showered them with more than enough kindness. I declined but offered to tap into the nest egg my parents/sister had left me to pay for some of it.. In fact, for me, they lost the right to receive this kindness from you already.

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nothanks86 - NTA and tangentially ‘made from my late husband’s supermarket’ is an autocorrect that had me in stitches.

SalaciousSapphic - NTA I’m horrified on your behalf. I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. What they said is vile and honestly unforgivable. I am... stunned.. I’m proud of you for not physically attacking them.

NegotiationExternal1 - No, you're not an a**hole for kicking people out who were straight up trying to grift money out of grieving widow, like the audacity of them. I do think you should immediately secure your paperwork, change bank accounts and otherwise ensure your social security and other financial things are completely secure plus put a credit check/ notification on your file,

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they failed in their obvious manipulation and envy of your money to secure it, I don't think it's silly to estimate your relative's correctly and assume they feel you owe it to them and they might just take it fraudulently.

If you really think about it, these two clowns were sitting on your house, in the midst of your grief whispering to themselves about how they are owed part of the roof over your head, the money set aside for your children, how to try pressure you to give it to them. How grimy and gross does them scheming like that make you feel? Remember that when you feel 'guilt'.

Cocoasneeze - NTA. Of course. Anyone would think, that they'd be extremely grateful for you letting them stay at your house at all, but they thought differently. They were hugely entitled, rude and all around terrible. Block all communication with them and anyone else who offers their unsolicited advice or demands. Tell them to help your BIL and SIL out themselves, and block these people too.

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These Reddit reactions are hotter than a summer barbecue, but do they nail the core issue? Was Jane’s eviction a power move or a mama-bear necessity?

Jane’s story is a testament to a mother’s fierce love, standing tall against disrespect in the shadow of grief. Her in-laws’ cruel words and greedy demands shattered any claim to her hospitality. Kicking them out wasn’t just about reclaiming her space—it was about shielding her daughters’ hearts. What would you do if family crossed a line like this? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack this fiery family clash!

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