AITA for kicking my in laws?

A quiet morning with a newborn turned into a family showdown when a Reddit user’s father-in-law snatched his wife’s coffee cup from their Keurig, berating her for not prioritizing his morning routine. Enraged by the disrespect in his own home, OP demanded the in-laws leave if they couldn’t show basic courtesy, leading to their abrupt return to Canada. Now, OP wonders if his stand was too harsh or a necessary defense of his wife and household.

This AITA post brews a potent mix of family tension, postpartum stress, and household respect. Reddit’s pouring praise on OP’s resolve, but was his eviction of the in-laws justified, or a tad oversteeped? Let’s stir into this coffee-fueled conflict, where cups and courtesy collide.

‘AITA for kicking my in laws?’

A father-in-law’s entitled grab for coffee boiled over into a family eviction. Here’s the Reddit user’s story in their own words:

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My wife and I recently had a baby when this situation happened, and my in laws came to visit us before our baby was born and stayed with us until I kicked them out of my house and they had to fly back to Canada, my wife and I live in the US. This happened 18 months ago. I woke up early, which I'm use to waking up early, I grab my new born and go downstairs.

I make myself some coffee. About an hour after I go downstairs the house is starting to wake up. My wife comes down the stairs and ask me if I would like another cup of coffee, I reply 'yes please' and my wife makes me another cup. We use a Keurig. While the Keurig is preparing for the next cup my wife puts her mug under the dispenser. She brings me my cup.

While she is bringing me my cup her father takes her cup from under the dispenser and puts his cup under the dispenser. My wife says 'dad my cup was there' his response was 'you know how I am! I have to have my tea and orange juice with my cereal every morning'... I hear this conversation and I ask if 'my wife had her cup in place', he said 'yes but she knows how I am'....

I responded back with ' you are just going to have to wait until she is finished' he got very upset with my comment and proceeded to yell at my wife that she knows better and he is first. I got up from my chair and said this is our house and you will not speak to her in such a way. My father in law proceeded to tell me that he will speak any way he wants to his daughter!

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I said not in this house! If you cant be respectful of your daughter and my house then it's best if you leave! He storms off pouting like a child and hurriedly packs his things and my mother in law is packing her things now because he demanded she do so. So AmItheAsshole for defending my wife and kicking them out of our house and forcing them to go back to Canada?

This Keurig clash reveals the friction of in-law dynamics, especially in the high-stakes postpartum period. The father-in-law’s act of taking his daughter’s coffee cup, followed by yelling and asserting his needs over hers, was a blatant disrespect of her autonomy and OP’s household rules. His refusal to back down and the mother-in-law’s compliance in leaving highlight a power imbalance, with OP’s swift eviction serving as a reclaiming of authority. The incident, though seemingly small, reflects deeper issues of entitlement and control.

Dr. Terri Orbuch, a family therapist, notes, “In-law conflicts often escalate when guests disregard the couple’s boundaries, particularly in their home” (Source). A 2023 Journal of Marriage and Family study found that 65% of new parents report in-law tensions over disrespectful behavior, with 30% citing incidents involving household routines (Source). The FIL’s “she knows how I am” excuse dismisses his daughter’s agency, and OP’s response, while firm, protected his wife’s dignity.

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This ties to broader issues of postpartum support and household respect. OP’s defense was warranted, but the immediate eviction may have limited room for de-escalation.

Advice: OP could follow up with a written message to the in-laws, stating, “Your behavior disrespected our home and my wife; we need mutual respect to move forward.” Setting clear rules for future visits, like “no yelling or overriding our routines,” could prevent repeats. Couples therapy might help OP and his wife align on handling in-law visits, especially with a newborn. OP should also check in with his wife to ensure she feels supported.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit steeped strong support, brewing harsh critiques of the father-in-law’s rudeness. Here’s what the community had to say about this coffee maker meltdown:

[Reddit User] - NTA, dem be some rude ass guests...

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Kaz404 - Nta i can't belive how disrespectfull he is to his own kid.

tattoedgranny2 - NTA she is your wife and that is your house. Parents or not they should respect you and her. If my husband didn't speak up and defend me he would be in trouble! Of course I would defend myself just as she did. But he obviously wasn't listening to his daughter. So good for you!!

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LovelyMamasita - NTA but a good husband.

Mikasa_EsSukasa - NTA. Your wife just had a baby and father-in-law thinks his needs are greater than his daughter's? Nope. Not in your house or any house.

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ms_alpacalypse - NTA. Unless your Keurig is a lot slower than normal, it doesn't take that long and waiting a minute or two isn't going to kill anybody. Does your FIL jump the queue at the grocer's? Is he that type of person? If not, then, he'll show common courtesy to strangers, but not his daughter?

Also, that whole 'she should know better' nonsense comes off incredibly condescending, as if he's not recognizing that his daughter is no longer a child, but an adult who deserves to be treated as such. In my mind, you didn't kick your in-laws out. What you said was, 'If you can't be respectful of your daughter and my house then it's best you leave!'

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All he had to do was recognize the behavior was inappropriate. Obviously he felt that he was incapable of being respectful of your wife or your house, so he chose to pack up and leave. You didn't force them to go back to Canada.

anonymous053119 - NTA. Who the f**k cuts the Keurig line?

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GoRocketCA - NTA, but I guess you'll not come up north pretty soon lol.

Pill_Boi - Come on. You can't really be thinking you are the a**hole here....

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puseyes - NTA, you're a great dude for defending your wife and taking care of your baby for bit (dudes seem to have a hangup about that 🤷🏻‍♀️). If the old man wants to use your coffee maker and your electricity in your house to make his coffee then he can follow the damn rules.

These Reddit roasts back OP’s stand, but do they miss the in-laws’ perspective? Is OP’s eviction a bold brew or a touch too bitter?

This coffee-fueled saga percolates with a new dad’s defense of his wife against her entitled father-in-law’s outburst. OP’s swift kick-out of his in-laws after their Keurig disrespect won Reddit’s cheers, but the abrupt end to their visit leaves OP questioning his move. Was he right to draw a hard line, or should he have cooled the conflict? Have you faced in-laws trampling your household rules? What would you do to restore peace—or keep the pot from boiling over? Pour your thoughts below and keep the convo brewing!

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